Wisdom Reigns  Denial Remains
by ephiny63
Summary: COMPLETED! What happens when the brother you see is not the brother you know? Set around S2 Dean is detached and angry and Sam is confused and suffering from chronic headaches while hunting for a giant murdering moth. Very Dark Themes Abound.
1. Chapter 1

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

Author's Note 1: This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read.

Author's Note 2: I will be posting updates of my other two stories over the next week, sorry for the delays but RL is … well yeah a bitch on a good day and while feeling a little low my confidence took a little side-swipe from a careless reviewer. But I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Mmmmwahahahahaha… You have now been warned! I am back with a vengeance.

Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?

S-D

**CHAPTER ONE: One life to lead, one life to follow**.

_How long can a man survive without feeling any emotions whatsoever? _

Dean Winchester cut a lonely figure as he sat on the hood of his classic Chevy Impala sipping on his now warm beer. He stared out at the landscape without seeing anything that resembled the rolling hills, the tall graceful trees or the lush green of the fields. He could only see in black and white it seemed, the only other colour in his life was blood red. Idly he ran the pad of his right thumb over the lip of his beer bottle but didn't do anything else. He wanted to cry, to scream to shout at the nameless, faceless so-called God at the unfairness of it all, of his life but the words stuck in his throat like swallowed gum, refusing to go anywhere but choking him just the same.

His father, his hero, his idol was gone … dead and dusted. Dealt the deal he wanted and was gone in return for Dean's life. His cowardly father could no long live up to the perceived notions of vengeance, violence and superstition. The mantle was once again thrust upon his shoulders bowing them even more with the weight. As his father did twenty-three years ago to a terrified toddler he did again to an equally terrified young man. He laid the responsibility for the life of another on his son, cloaking him in with the obligation and duty until it was suffocating and claustrophobic.

_'And then I fail miserably daddy dear.'_ The bitter thought had him cringing and wanting to hide away, shame covering him in a leprous rash and marking him for life.

Sliding off the bonnet Dean pulled his arm back and threw the bottle as hard and as far as he could, a raw, guttural scream accompanied the throw as he sank down onto his knees and sobbed dry tears. "Sammy!"

S—D

ONE WEEK EARLIER:

Two tall and well groomed young men strode confidently along the footpath towards the small office of the local sheriff. The younger but taller man had manila folders tucked under one arm and was chatting animatedly on his cell phone. The older and slightly shorter man kept up with the long strides as he had a heated argument on his own cell.

They walked in unison cutting an impressive sight through the lunch time crowds, receiving unnoticed looks of approval and openly lustful glances from both men and women they passed by. Single-mindedly focussed on the job at hand neither took the time to receive or to return the glances and looks.

In unison they disconnected their calls and paused long enough in their trek to turn and to exchange identical looks of disgust and frustration.

"No luck?" They spoke at the same time; their voices blending together.

"So Dean, how you wanna do this?"

"Short, fast and furious?" Dean grinned in an attempt to lighten their oppressive moods. "Seriously Sammy, we go and talk to the Deputy, get as much info as possible and then get the hell outta Dodge."

"Sounds like a plan to me Dean, I dunno I have a bad feeling about this case." Sam scratched the back of his neck and looked down at his older brother, "was their much more in Da … the journal?"

"Nope," Dean shook his head and then without another sound strode off, effectively shutting his little brother down once again.

Sam sighed sadly and rubbed his aching forehead again, yet another headache was looming and Dean's 'I'm pissed off at the world and my brother' attitude was not helping to dispel it at all.

"You coming or what Sam?" Dean stopped in front of the sheriff's department and turned to look back at his brother, impatience clearly etched on his ruggedly handsome face. "Today would be good Sam."

Heaving another sigh Sam pushed himself towards his brother and tried to swallow down on the rising pain, living with a 'grieving' Dean was bad enough without adding a 'pissed off' Dean to the mix. "Yeah I'm coming, don't get all bent out of shape."

S—D

The interview with Deputy Sheriff Ted Whittaker did not help the brothers at all, he was obviously lying or hiding something and his condescending attitude only served to fuel Dean's growing temper.

"Just calm down Dean before you have an aneurysm." Sam finally ground out as he watched his brother let his temper build while he paced the small area between their motel beds. "We'll just have to go with what we've got."

"Which is jack-shit Sam," Dean said as he sat down on his own bed, "did Bobby have anything we could use?"

"Nope but he said that he'll keep looking and for us idjits not to rush in half-cocked like we normally do."

Dean pulled out his hip flask and took a long swig of his whiskey before looking at Sam again, "so what do we have?"

"Ahh okay there's been three deaths in the last three months all on the eleventh of each month, which mean if there is to be another one it'll happen in two days." Sam paused and glanced at Dean for a second before continuing his case-rundown. "From all of the signs so far they could be either ritualistic sacrifices or the victims of a Gorathic moth."

"A fucking giant moth." Dean shook his head and then took another mouthful from the flask.

"Well, that is generalised but yeah, it has moth like wings, and a body shaped like a man but with the antenna and stuff of a normal moth. They're ancient and considered legend only until now."

"And they just happen to appear here, when we arrive." Dean shook his head and then stood up suddenly startling his brother. "I'm going on a food run."

"Want me to come with?"

"What? No, nah man it's alright I'm just gonna go down to the diner and then to get some beers I'll be right back."

"Dean…"

"Shut it Sam." Dean growled as he pulled his leather jacket on and slammed out of the motel room.

Sam stared at the door for a few more minutes after Dean had left; he had a look of utter devastation on his pale face, unshed tears shone in his moss-green eyes but he refused to let them fall. He was done crying for his father's passing and for his brother's inability to deal. He had reached the end, the bottom of a very big barrel. Swaying slightly as he scrabbled to his feet Sam lurched towards the bathroom hoping that a long, hot shower would help ease his now thumping headache.

S—D

Dean dropped the six pack of beer on the passenger seat before climbing in behind the steering wheel; he had procrastinated long enough and had to get back to Sam.

"Dammit Sammy why do you have to make it so hard?" He said startling himself by speaking out loud, "you're losing it big time Winchester." Dean knew that he was not being totally fair to Sam, it wasn't his brother's fault for what happened to their father, to any of them for that matter it was just that he had such a deep anger and no where to let it out. Yawning widely, Dean slowly reversed out of the carpark and headed back to the small motel where they were currently holed up in.

As he got closer Dean sat up and was suddenly stone-cold sober and wide-awake when he saw the flashing lights from too many police cars to count and a crowd forming around the motel's carpark.

Pulling up down the block Dean locked the Impala carefully before heading back to the motel to try and to find out what was going on and to find his younger brother without alerting the police of their presence. _'Easier said than done.'_

"What happened?" He asked an older looking lady who was clutching a small dog to her chest.

"Not too sure, but it sounds like a young man just went crazy in one of the rooms, he started smashing everything and attacked the clerk when he went to see what was going on. That's when the police were called. Such a shame he looks like such a nice young man."

"Thanks ma'am." Dean muttered he could barely hear himself over his now thudding heart, he froze though when he heard the next words out of the woman's mouth.

"It seems as though he was screaming about a giant moth, poor boy."

Dean broke into a run and tried to get closer to Sam, his brother needing him now more than ever, _'ah Sammy what happened? Did the moth come to take you?' _The thought made his stomach start to roil as he dry heaved. Taking a deep breath Dean pushed his way through the crowd just as he saw the police dragging out his baby brother. They had him in shackles and surrounded by four of them as they tried to manhandle him into the back of a waiting ambulance. The look on his brother's face nearly broke Dean's defences completely, his eyes shone darkly with pure terror but his face held a wild, almost feral look as he fought desperately against the hands and chains holding him captive.

"Sorry Sir you have to stay back." A uniformed woman tried to block his way making Dean almost growl at her in frustration.

"You don't understand, that's my brother …" Dean blurted out, his concern for Sam obliterating any logical thought or story from his mind. "Please let me go to him, he needs me."

"He's your brother?" The officer regarded Dean warily.

"Yeah I'm Dean Singer and that's my little brother Sam … please I can get him to calm down but I have to get to him."

"Sheriff Waite …" the officer called out to the sheriff, "we've got his brother here."

"Let him through then," the middle aged man turned and stared at Dean for a few seconds, "can you get through to him?"  
"He'll listen to me Sir," Dean nodded willing to agree to just about anything as long as he was able to get to his brother. With the sheriff next to him Dean was guided towards the back of the ambulance where they were trying to manhandle Sam onto a gurney and to strap him down with the soft restraints. "Back off dude." Dean snarled as he pushed the attendant away and settled down next to Sam. "Sammy, hey dude what's going on?"

Sam turned towards the familiar voice, for some reason he was not sure why but he felt safer. "M-moth coming … flames … burning … no … no … no." Sam screamed hoarsely as he fought the restraints, 'help me please have to find Dean."

"Sammy hey Sammy calm down, it's me, it's Dean I'm right here dude." Dean cupped Sam's cheeks in his hands and forced him to focus on his face. "Look at me, right at me dude I'm right here."

"Dean?" Sam blinked and squinted up at the face floating above him, "you-you real?"

"Yeah dude I'm real but what's going on with you?"

"The moth … had to fight … sacrifice … can't let it get Dean."

"Sam … where the hell did these bruises and cuts come from?" Dean demanded when he caught sight of the fresh bruises forming on Sam's face.

"He put up a helluva fight." One officer said as he flexed his fists, "someone had to try and knock some sense into the freak."

"My brother is not a freak." Dean said his voice pitched low and sounded too calm, almost lethal.

S—D

Six hours after they had admitted Sam to the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, Dean was finally allowed to see his brother again. During his six hour wait, he had to answer a barrage of questions, fill out forms and give a formal statement all before he could contact their Uncle Bobby Singer, their only living guardian and family member left to come and to help with finding out what was happening with Sam.

"Sammy?" Dean said softly as he entered the private observation room, he sucked in a deep breath and stopped suddenly when he saw his sasquatch of a brother stretched out on a bare bed, his ankles, wrists, waist and throat all constricted and trapped by leather restraints. Dressed only in thin cotton pants, Sam's upper body was completely bare save for the electrodes attached to his chest. A light sheet covered his lower body to his waist but his feet remained uncovered and an IV line protruded from a cannula fixed in his right wrist and wrapped tightly with gauze. The bruises now marred most of Sam's colourless face, his left eye was swollen shut, and he his lower lip was swollen and split. "Oh God Sammy what did they do to you?" Dean whispered as he continued to mentally catalogue the rest of Sam's injuries, including a spongy looking bruise on his lower left side and the split knuckles on both of Sam's hands though the fingers on his left hand were all misshapen, swollen and discoloured.

A soft groan brought Dean's attention back to his brother's face, as he watched him try to return to consciousness. "That's it Sammy, come on back to me dude." Dean coached him softly as he tenderly palmed Sam's cheek, "time to wake up now Sam."

"M-moth … giant … mo … mother … no … argh … " Sam cried out before he started to giggle uncontrollably, "big wings and it flew in … whoosh …"

"Sammy, hey look at me dude I need ya to calm down." Dean whispered as loudly as he dared, "we've gotta get ya outta here."

"Whoosh … into the room … straight through the wall … hissed at me … it hissed … argh head hurts." Sam said as he started to thrash his head about trying to stop the pounding headache once again take up residence in his head.

"Sam hey come on … snap out of it bro we have to get you outta here."

"Dean?" Sam blinked and stared up at his brother, recognition shining bright in his eyes, "what happened?"

"You've gotta tell me dude, you're the one strapped down and in here. What went on when I went to get food?"

"Yes Mister Singer I'm sure that we would all like to hear that." An unknown voice interrupted the brothers, growling softly Dean turned around to see the sheriff come into Sam's room accompanied by an officious looking man dressed in a grey suit, grey tie and white shirt.

"What the hell is going on?" Dean stepped between the new arrivals and his brother's bed effectively cutting off their view of Sam.

"I'm sorry Dean," the sheriff said with a genuine look of regret on his face, "this is Doctor Felix Underwood, the DA wants him to examine Sam, he's their psychologist."

"Psychiatrist Sheriff … I am not a mere psychologist." The man sniffed with obvious disdain.

"I am here to assess Sam Singer to see if he is to be committed without trial or if he is fit enough to stand trial."

"Whoa now just wait a minute, what the fuck are you on about?"

"Your brother's psychotic break may be real or a clever ruse to cover up …"

"Cover up what exactly?" Dean asked his voice icily calm as he took a step closer to the arrogant man.

"His involvement in the recent disappearances and murders here …"

"You are fucking kidding me … Sammy hasn't killed anyone."

"Ah so if that is the case then how has he knowledge of the so-called Moth-man, that information has not been released to the public."

_'Oh fuck.' _Dean scrubbed his hands over his face as he tried to put all of this into some sort of logical thought but he was brought back to the moment when he felt a slight tug on his jacket. Turning slowly Dean looked down to where Sam had twisted his good hand into the hem of his leather jacket and then up to his brother's face. He almost lost control himself when he saw the lost look on his brother's face and the confusion and fear reflecting in his eyes but it was all counteracted with the look of sheer trust and faith when their gazes locked.

"Get the hell out of here Doctor whatever your name is." Dean snarled without turning around, "yer not getting near my brother in a blue fit."

"Now see here Mister Singer …"

"Get out, Sam is not speaking to anyone of you bastards until our uncle gets here and we can organise a lawyer." Dean turned a stony face towards the psychiatrist, "someone beat my brother to a pulp, did something to him to make him lose it and to see giant moths, he is not a killer and does not deserve to be committed."

"I can force the issue if I have to Mister Singer."

"What the hell is goin' on here?" Bobby's familiar voice helped shatter Dean's anger fuelled defence. "I'm Bobby Singer, the boys' uncle what the hell is going on and what is … what the hell are you doing to Sam?"

"He …"

A primal raw scream from Sam silenced the arguing and they all turned to the bed just as Sam tried to crawl up the mattress but couldn't move because of his restraints. "No, no he's here please let me go … let me go."

"Sam? Sam? What's wrong? What's happening?" Dean tried to get his brother's attention but Sam's gaze was firmly fixed on the corner of the ceiling nearest the door, his eyes wide and unblinking, as he tried to escape from his invisible attackers.

"Sam dude you hafta calm down," Dean tried to regain his brother's attention but it was useless whatever Sam was fixated on as he continued to stare at the corner, whimpering incoherently, blood and foam formed on his lips when he bit his tongue. Flinching he pulled away from Dean's touch only to recoil when their connection was broken. He was so confused, the strangers were all so angry and the non-strangers were all angry and sad at the same time.

"Sheriff get that idjit outta here now," Bobby shook his own shock off and took control of the situation before it spiralled even further out of control. "Dean has there been any other doctors in to see Sam?"

"Ahh yeah a Doctor Sara Griffin, she was the first one to see him. I dunno who ordered the restraints."

"They're because your brother attacked two of my deputies when they tried to arrest him. He broke the nose of one and fractured two ribs in the other man. Until we know for sure that he won't attack anymore people they are to stay on." The sheriff said slowly and clearly, his hand resting on the heel of his gun.

"Aint good enough Sheriff, that kid has been beaten to hell and back again … who did that to him?"

"He resisted arrest and had to be subdued." The sheriff stammered slightly.

"I want to see that doctor in here now," Bobby said, "is she another shrink or is she a medical doc?"

"Another shrink Bobby," Dean answered for the suddenly silent men, "these been no medical doctor to see Sammy yet, his fingers haven't even been reset."

"His fingers?" Bobby moved closer to the bed, mindful of Sam's skittishness and looked down at the battered digits, 'that is reasonable force is it Sheriff?"

S—D

After spending a rough night at a new motel Dean and Bobby headed towards Sam's room in the hospital bright and early in the morning, the only thoughts on their minds was to get Sam out of the locked ward before they got too much information out of him and then to find out what was really going on.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" A nurse asked Dean and Bobby as they came to a stop at the nurse's station.

"Yeah we've come to see Sam Singer," Dean said impatiently.

"Would you like to take a seat in the waiting room and I'll page Doctor Griffin for you." The nurse said as she quickly read the computer screen.

"Where's my brother?" Dean asked a feeling of dread settled in the pit of his stomach.

"Dean, Mister Singer please come to my office so we can talk," Doctor Griffin said as she hurried towards the two men, she hated this part of psychiatry.

'What the … what is going on Doctor?" Bobby asked placing a restraining hand on Dean's shoulder as they sat down in the well-appointed office.

"What have you done with my brother?" Dean asked as he fought to control his own emotions.

"The DA decided to lay charges against Sam last night, they had a court order to remove Sam to the psych ward at the prison, I'm not sure how he did it all but they took your brother in the middle of the night."

"How did they get him out of here without him freaking out?" Dean asked unable to really process what the doctor had just said.

"Sedation, that Doctor Underwood was with the officers when they served the papers he had Sam sedated before the nurses could let me know. I am truly sorry gentleman but the paperwork was all in order, there was nothing I could do."

"Where's this prison?" Bobby asked leaning forward slightly but he still managed to keep his hand anchored on Dean's shoulder.

Sara pulled a small notepad out of her drawer and quickly wrote down the name of the prison, directions to get there as well as the name of the doctor in charge and the warden's name. "I wish that there was more I could do."

"Can you tell me if they managed to reset his hand?"

"Yes, I can assure you that a medical physician examined Sam, reset the fingers and strapped them as well as attending to his other wounds."

"Thanks Doc." Dean said as he stood up and strode out of the office, not waiting for Bobby or to turn back to the doctor. He was a hunter on a hunt, but this time it was to save his brother's life and his sanity.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

Author's Note 1: This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read.

Author's Note 2: I will be posting updates of my other two stories over the next week, sorry for the delays but RL is … well yeah a bitch on a good day and while feeling a little low my confidence took a little side-swipe from a careless reviewer. But I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Mmmmwahahahahaha… You have now been warned! I am back with a vengeance.

Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?

S—D

**Chapter Two: He is no stranger, he is your brother.**

_Are dreams shared experiences or are they ours alone to live with?_

**Then:**

_"What have you done with my brother?" Dean asked as he fought to control his own emotions._

_"The DA decided to lay charges against Sam last night, they had a court order to remove Sam to the psych ward at the prison, I'm not sure how he did it all but they took your brother in the middle of the night."_

_"How did they get him out of here without him freaking out?" Dean asked unable to really process what the doctor had just said._

_"Sedation, that Doctor Underwood was with the officers when they served the papers he had Sam sedated before the nurses could let me know. I am truly sorry gentleman but the paperwork was all in order, there was nothing I could do."_

_"Where's this prison?" Bobby asked leaning forward slightly but he still managed to keep his hand anchored on Dean's shoulder._

_Sara pulled a small notepad out of her drawer and quickly wrote down the name of the prison, directions to get there as well as the name of the doctor in charge and the warden's name. "I wish that there was more I could do."_

_"Can you tell me if they managed to reset his hand?"_

_"Yes, I can assure you that a medical physician examined Sam, reset the fingers and strapped them as well as attending to his other wounds."_

_"Thanks Doc." Dean said as he stood up and strode out of the office, not waiting for Bobby or to turn back to the doctor. He was a hunter on a hunt, but this time it was to save his brother's life and his sanity._

**Now:**

**Eight Days Earlier**:

Sam stood under the needles of near-boiling water; he wanted to feel the heat deep within his muscles but they were still chilled. The band of pain around his head squeezed his mind until he had trouble putting coherent thoughts together. He could vaguely remember the feeling of something biting the back of his neck a couple of days ago when they had first rolled into town but thought nothing more of it until now.

A shaking hand moved to the base of his neck and the start of his spine and the hard lump he could feel there. A bite of some kind was all he could think about.

Swallowing down on his rising nausea and weariness Sam turned the shower off and stepped out stopping long enough to snag a clean towel from the rack behind the door. His only thought was to lie down on his bed in a completely dark and quiet room.

A loud noise just outside the motel room brought Sam's attention back to the present, _must be Dean _was the only thought he could manage as a rustling sound in the room itself made him jump up in fright, all thoughts and pain were gone in that one adrenaline fuelled moment.

'Who's there?' he yelled trying to focus on the shadowed figure on the ceiling before it attacked him.

S—D

**Present Day**:

Dean, Bobby and Caleb Reeves stood just outside Freemont Prison; dressed in a dark grey suit and carrying a leather briefcase Caleb looked anything like his usual scruffy hunter-self.

'Alright you two stay behind me and let me do the talking,' he spoke quietly but with a John Winchester style authority to his words, 'Dean … Dean you hearing me?'

'Yeah, yeah I hear ya.' Dean wanted to yell and rail against Caleb's cool and calmness but he knew deep down that he had to keep his own cool if he wanted to get Sam back.

'Right let's do this.' Caleb said as he straightened his tie and swapped hands with his briefcase.

Bobby cleared his throat and made sure both of the younger men made direct eye contact with him, 'you got Judge Wade's paperwork in there Caleb?'

'Yes Sir it's all intact.' Caleb nodded patting the case knowingly; it was damned good to have a judge who was also a hunter in their network.

'Dean son you gonna be able to do this?' Bobby turned his attention to the high-strung Winchester, 'no matter what you have to stay calm or it's not gonna work.'

'Yeah I'm fine Bobby let's just get this over and done with.' Dean said clearing his throat he met Bobby's gaze for a second before stepping closer to the intercom to announce their arrival.

Another half hour later of waiting, while Caleb wrangled the legal details with Warden Gordon Longsteer and Bobby refereed. Dean paced the small waiting area; his fingers restlessly moved along the edges of his visitor's pass hanging from a lanyard around his neck. _Who the fuck decided to call these things lanyards anyway?_

'Dean.' Bobby repeated again this time shaking the younger man slightly by the arm to get his attention. 'Dammit Dean answer me.'

'Ow Bobby … what was that for?'

'Stop being an idjit and listen to me, we can go and see Sam while Caleb finishes the legal wrestling.'

'Huh oh sure I'm coming.' Dean scrubbed a hand over his face and fell in next to his "uncle" and behind the silent guard who directed them through the labyrinth of hallways to the prison psych-ward.

Dean swallowed deeply and glanced at Bobby before stepping closer to the doors while the guard buzzed for someone to let them in. _It's gonna be impossible to get Sammy out our way. _They followed a large built man dressed in a white uniform down a row of cells to another set of double doors, 'this is where we keep all the dangerous loonies.' The man said as though it was some sort of explanation.

Bobby gripped Dean's elbow and gave him a quick look and shake of his head, the guard was only trying to goad them, obviously someone had pre-warned him of their arrival and relationships to Sam and he wanted to ruin their reunion.

Finally, after seemingly hours of walking, though it was probably only the equivalent to ten minutes they arrived outside Sam's room. 'Wait here.' The guard mumbled and then abruptly left them alone in the hallway; with a solid metal door separating them from their youngest and most treasured member of the ragtag family footsteps made both of the hunters turn to look at a harried looking man dressed in a white lab coat and wrinkled trousers.

'You must be Dean and Bobby Singer, family of Samuel?' he asked without any pre-empt.

'Yeah and you must be the douche bag doctor who has my baby brother locked up in here.' Dean couldn't help himself; the smug almost condescending look on the man's face was too much to keep him quiet.

'So when can we see my nephew?' Bobby said stepping forward slightly, 'I want to note also the unconscionable way yer treating my nephew and Dean's brother, a traumatised victim … Not a killer.'

'That is for the courts to decide Mister Singer.'

'Doctor … wait what is yer name Doctor … just for the records of course.' Bobby asked his eyes narrowing as he studied the man's face, there was something almost familiar about him.

'I'm Doctor Art Zazel.' The man smiled at Bobby before passing a plastic card over the lock and then stepped back to allow Bobby and Dean a clear view of their precious boy.

S—D

Sam watched the moth hovering above them in the hospital room, no one saw it except him and he couldn't do anything to tell them, his body felt detached, his limbs lay uselessly by his side, his senses failed him, well all but one; his sight not that was doing him any good he could warn them: The strangers and the familiars.

His head hurt so badly, and his face felt weird, the kind of numb but sore feeling that normally sets in after some sort of injury. He could remember the motel room, the moth attacking him but no one else could see it. It hovered over the motel clerk but the man wouldn't move, Sam had to make him. Then there were more strangers in his room, all in danger from the moth but they weren't interested all they wanted to do was to hurt him. _Why? What did I do to them?_

Hands kept pushing at him, tying him down and made him easy prey for the creature, and the comforting familiar touch was gone as well only strangers surrounded him now. _Am I dreaming? Why what did I do wrong? Gotta find Dean … sacrifice … Dean?_

The hands were moving him again, needles shoved into his flesh but they were of no consequence for him, he couldn't fight the evil, he was useless once again just like he was told so long ago.

The new stranger knows that the moth is there ever watching, ever waiting for Sam to close his eye and give in to it. To let it devour him, but he has to protect Dean he has to make sure … _Who's Dean? Is he the familiar touch I feel?_

S—D

'Sam-Sammy?' Dean gasped in shock, it had only been twenty-four odd hours since he had seen his brother but Sam's condition had deteriorated so quickly. Now he looked small on the narrow bed, his usual bulk and height was seemingly gone and replaced by an emaciated shell of his former self. Sam's eye was still swollen shut but his other eye was open and fixed on a corner of the ceiling. Unblinking and unmoving if it wasn't for the barely perceivable rises of his chest Dean could have sworn Sam had died.

'Ahh damn it kiddo.' Bobby's soft exhale registered with Dean making him move towards the bed in the sterile room. Though it was more of a cage than a room, the walls lined with metal and grids covered the windows lining the ceiling. Only enough to allow filtered light into the room.

'Sammy?' He whispered as he approached the narrow table they had Sam strapped down on, once again he was naked from the waist up and a light sheet covered his legs. But there were no IVs giving him vital medication, no electrode patches monitoring his heart rate, only leather restraints cutting into the tender flesh of his wrists and from the rusty stains on the sheets the flesh of his ankles too. 'Hey Sammy … I'm here.'

Sam moved his head slightly, rolling it towards the familiar voice; perhaps he could see their danger. Desperately he tried to get them to look up but then he felt the brush of the wings against his skin and knew that it was too late.

'D-Dean … go-gotta s-save D-Dean … s-sacrif-fice.' Sam's whisper was so soft Dean had to lean down to hear him clearly, 't-trap … m-moth … tr-trap.'

'Sammy hey can you hear me?' Dean cupped Sam's cheek to try and get his attention but Sam kept whispering frantically unable to recognise who was standing next to him. The pain spiked in his mind and he wanted to scream but that would make the moth angry and attack him again.

Terrified Sam screamed unable to hold it in when he felt the burning sensation of fangs digging deep into his thigh, he made a sound and it needs a tribute to please it.

'What the fuck is going on here?' Dean cried out in desperation and anger, he turned to Bobby but saw the smirk on the face of the so-called doctor, 'what is happening with my brother?'

'He had a psychotic break, most likely suffering from the guilt of the kidnappings and murders he committed.' The doctor said with that annoyingly calm and monotone voice, 'he was a troubled young man and the weight of his actions has created this moth creature in his subconscious to place the blame on.'

'Sam was never a troubled young man,' Dean snarled using air quotes for "troubled young man", 'how can you have him tied down like that?'

'He's a dangerous prisoner, insane or not he is dangerous and has to be restrained.'

'Sam couldn't hurt anyone, his hand is broken, he's been beaten to high heaven and back again what about that scream how is it dangerous?'

'You are out of order Mister Singer I suggest that you leave, it's up to the courts to commit your brother to this prison his case is set for next week.'

'What kind of place is this? What you're guilty before proven innocent?' Dean's anger got the better of him, he wanted to scream blue murder, to undo the restraints and to carry his brother out of there but they were deep within the bowels of a maximum security prison and no way out. 'Speaking of which … what's keeping Sam's lawyer he should've finished with the Warden by now?'

'We want Mister Reeves in here now Doctor Zazel…' Bobby said as he struggled to keep a poker face, the name and the face finally registered in his shell-shocked mind, 'it's time for this boy to come home.'

'I'm sorry Mister Singer that I cannot allow.'

'Christo,' Bobby said and smirked coldly when he saw the eyes of the doctor change, his smirk fading when he saw the colour that they had changed to. 'Holy Fuck!'

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

**Author's Note**: This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

S—D

_What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?_

**Chapter Three: We see what we want to see not what we can**

Dreams are the doorway to the psyche.

**Then:**

_'Sam was never a troubled young man,' Dean snarled using air quotes for "troubled young man", 'how can you have him tied down like that?'_

_'He's a dangerous prisoner, insane or not he is dangerous and has to be restrained.'_

_'Sam couldn't hurt anyone, his hand is broken, he's been beaten to high heaven and back again what about that screams how is it dangerous?'_

_'You are out of order Mister Singer I suggest that you leave, it's up to the courts to commit your brother to this prison his case is set for next week.'_

_'What kind of place is this? What you're guilty before proven innocent?' Dean's anger got the better of him, he wanted to scream blue murder, to undo the restraints and to carry his brother out of there but they were deep within the bowels of a maximum security prison and no way out. 'Speaking of which … what's keeping Sam's lawyer he should've finished with the Warden by now?'_

_'We want Mister Reeves in here now Doctor Zazel…' Bobby said as he struggled to keep a poker face, the name and the face finally registered in his shell-shocked mind, 'it's time for this boy to come home.'_

_'I'm sorry Mister Singer that I cannot allow.'_

_'Christo,' Bobby said and smirked coldly when he saw the eyes of the doctor change, his smirk fading when he saw the colour that they had changed to. 'Holy Fuck!'_

**Now:**

Caleb was ready to punch someone or something it was only a matter of moments left for him to attack the warden. The stench of a cover up filled his senses along with something else, something that was altogether too familiar.

'Look Warden obviously these are trumped up charges against my client, he is need of help not incarceration.'

'And for the last time I can't do a thing about it until he sees the judge.'

'And the papers I have from Judge Wade are all I need to take my client from here.'

'You and what army?'

'I am this close…' Caleb snarled moving menacingly closer to the now pale and shaking warden. Although, before he could do anything the phone rang shrilly breaking the uneasy silence.

'What is it?' Warden Longsteer snarled into the phone, he listened for a moment his demeanour changing with each word spoken; he glanced nervously at Caleb and then stared back down at the phone. 'Yes Sir, I understand Sir … yes … yes … thank you Sir.' He hung the phone up and turned back to Caleb. 'It seems that you have the all clear to go and join Singer and his family, I'll get the guard to take you.'

'What's going on Warden?'

'Nothing yet Reeves but don't push me.'

S—D

The shadow moved across the ceiling, a slight flutter of the fleshy dull grey wings was the only sound in the painfully silent caged medical room. Sam moaned as he felt the suckling of the beast as it returned to hover over them.

'Dean look at Sam's leg.' Bobby whispered pointing to the top of Sam's thigh, where a large blood stain was forming.

'What the fuck?' Dean muttered trying his hardest not to upset his brother, carefully he pulled the sheets back to reveal a jagged bite mark in the taut skin and muscle. 'What the hell is going on here?'

'Tr-tribute … m-made n-noise,' Sam said his voice barely audible, 's-save De-Dean.'

'Sammy you with me dude?' Dean asked moving back to his brother's side, 'I need you to focus kiddo.'

'Moth-man … g-g-gotta f-f-find De-Dean … no … no won't d-d-do it.' Sam rambled his uninjured fingers picked at the threadbare sheet, 'who am … who am I?'

'We're gonna get ya outta here Sammy I promise.' Dean said looking up at Sam he managed to catch his gaze for a moment before turning his attention back to Bobby giving him his most imploring _please fix this _look.

'De?' Sam gripped Dean's fingers weakly, wanting no needing his attention, 'De?'

'Sammy? Hey how you doing there bud?'

'De … no … t-time,' Sam pushed the words out; he knew that the blackness was going to come back and he wouldn't be able to let his protector know what went wrong. Strangers' voices startled him and for a second Sam blanked out.

'No, no Sammy hey come back to me … it's gonna be okay bro I'm right here,' Dean whispered the words directly into Sam's ear as he sent a lethal glare to the new arrivals easily silencing them.

Sam blinked and tried to focus on the face so close to his own, 'Dean?'

'Hey dude, just concentrate on me and forget the others … can you do that for me?'

'N-no t-t-time … s-sacrifice … t-t-tribute k-k-keeper,' Sam fumbled over the words as he desperately tried to get Dean to understand his warning.

S—D

_'You are strong tribute, you will many make fine meals,' the insipid voice lisped in Sam's mind. He tried so hard to keep his thoughts on track, he prayed that Dean would come and save him but the creature was already inside him. There was nothing anyone could do; Sam knew that now. Whatever had bitten him had laid its larvae deep into the tissue at the base of his skull._

_'Tribute was chosen first.' The voice continued slithering through his mind while it fed greedily from Sam's throat. 'Sacrifice chosen next.'_

_'No, no! Gah!' Sam cried out, 'Dean.'_

_'No speak tribute.' The voice bellowed in his mind making Sam scream in agony. He felt the fangs sink deep into his shoulder as his body started to convulse._

S—D

'What is it Sammy?' Dean crouched down next to the bed so he could keep their gazes locked; gently he framed Sam's face with his hands and started to tenderly rub the pads of his thumbs on Sam's temples.

'M-moth … t-t-tribute k-k-keeper … f-f-finds … s-s-sacrifice …m-m-must p-p-protect D-D-Dean.' Stammering badly Sam finally got the words out and then looked up at his brother's face fading into the darkness. 'N-no d-d-don't g-g-go.'

'Not going anywhere Sammy, I'm right here,' Dean kept one hand on his brother's face and moved his other hand to wrap his fingers around Sam's. 'Ahh you're so cold Sammy.'

'G-g-gotta s-s-save D-Dean.' Sam said as he once again became lost in the random thoughts and misdirections swirling in his mind.

'Stay with me Sammy,' Dean called out desperately as he watched Sam once again slip away from him. 'Sammy … Sam show me where is the moth man.'

Sam blinked sluggishly and then rolled his eyes in the direction of the ceiling corner just above the door his body starting to convulse again as the larvae started to crystallise in Sam's brain.

'Sammy? Sam?' Dean cried out in horror as he watched his brother's body became wracked with convulsions, blood trickled from his nose and ears as the muscle spasms became more violent.

'Doctor damn it do something.' Bobby turned to the man standing next to him, 'that is if you're really a doctor.'

The doctor snarled and backed away from Bobby, he knew that his cover had been blown already by the older hunter but with Sam's predicament he thought that he could still move on with his plans. 'I'll be back for my boy.' He hissed before throwing the meat-suit's head back and in a flurry of oily black smoke disappeared before anyone could really react.

'Sonovabitch,' Dean cursed, 'it was here the whole freaking time.' He stood staring at the spot where the smoke disappeared, almost as if he was waiting for it to reappear.

'Dean snap out of it boy, we've gotta get Sam outta here now.' Bobby said as he shook Dean slightly, although he felt like he was shaking himself out of his own shock. _Dammit why didn't I do something when I saw its fucking eyes?_

S—D

Caleb and the prison warder had just arrived inside the psych ward and the lockdown cell of Sam Singer when the young inpatient started to convulse violently, and then smoke erupted from the corpse of the prison's psychiatrist.

'What is going on?' Warden Longsteer demanded not willing to believe what he had seen with his own eyes.

'Welcome to the real world Warden,' Caleb smirked before sobering as he turned to look at the young "prisoner", 'how's Sam doing?'

'Not good, we need to get him out of here immediately.' Bobby said turning his stare to the warden, 'no arguments either if he stays here … just say that ya'll be charged with murder if Sam dies.'

'Now wait just a minute … I demand to know what is going on, how do I know that you just didn't kill Doctor Collins yourself?'

'Hells bells you saw what happened … wait a minute who did you say that was?' Bobby turned to look down at the body at his feet.

'Doctor Al Collins why?'

'He told me his name was Al Zazel,' Bobby muttered scratching his beard he crouched down next to the corpse and studied it closely. 'Azazel!' He ground out the demon's name in disgust; disgust with the demon's presence but also with himself for not recognising the name to begin with.

S—D

'Dean son, that was The Demon.' Bobby said as he stood up and went to stand next to the younger man, 'it must have had something to do with what happened to Sam.'

'The Demon? The one that killed mom?'

_And yer daddy too _Bobby thought but stopped himself for saying it aloud. 'Yeah kiddo, it was.'

'Ah Bobby what's going on? This is all fucked everyway to Sunday.' Dean scrubbed his hand over his face; he was tired bone-tired. 'What do we do now?'

'Git you two outta here and then work out what's got into yer brother.' Bobby said as he settled his own tumultuous emotions and once again wore the mask of a hunter, 'now Warden you can either help us or you can stand down either way I'm taking my boys out of here now and that includes Sam.'

'Sam Singer still has to face court on murder charges I cannot let him just leave.'

'You won't have to,' Dean said softly as he gazed down at Sam 'my brother's dead.'

S—D

'What are you talking about?' Longsteer said as he pushed past a stunned Bobby and Caleb and stopped at Sam's bedside, 'he can't be dead.'

'Look at him Warden what did you expect him to do? Get well? Your men battered him and God only knows what else. I should be charging you with murder.' Dean said his voice pitched so low, the threat was emphasised without effort.

'Get him the hell outta here, get outta my town.' Longsteer said as he backed away from the bed and stared at the hunters as though they were all crazy. 'Just get that thing out of my prison.'

'What did you call my brother?' Dean yelled charging at the man, the words thrown at him were the last cut to the tenuous grip he had on his temper. 'You sonovabitch.'

It took the combined strength of both Bobby and Caleb to pull Dean off the man, 'get out of here Warden – now!' Caleb advised the man before turning to the distraught younger hunter, 'Dean get to your brother.'

'You're a dead man Longsteer!' Dean snapped, 'and then you'll be the thing!'

'You have twenty minutes to get out of my prison before I lock you all up and I'll make sure that none of you ever leave.' Longsteer said as he wiped his own blood from his chin and stalked out of the cell. 'Twenty minutes!'

'Dean?'

'I gotta get Sammy out of here Bobby,' Dean said softly, all of his anger gone and now he just seemed tired and wrung out.

'Dean … Sam's dea…'

'Nope he's not dead Bobby, Cal but he's not far from it,' Dean started to work on undoing the restraints around Sam's wrists. 'Can you help me?'

'Dean?'

'I ah I've seen Sam have a convulsion before, it takes a minute or so before he is visibly breathing as long as you don't check the pulse…'

'He appears dead?' Bobby shook his head, 'when did Sam have convulsions? I don't remember that.'

'A few years ago … Sam had a head injury and went into convulsions scary shit I can tell ya.'

'Why wouldn't John say anything about it? Especially when I've looked after you two,' Bobby asked his eyes narrowing as he raked his memory trying to think of a time when it could've happened but the only possibility he could think of was because John was involved.

'Look can we just get Sammy out of here and then we can talk about it?' Dean gathered his brother into his arms and with innate tenderness reserved only for his brother and babies Dean laid him down on a gurney and covered him with a sheet, 'well whatcha waiting for an engraved invitation?'

S—D

Six Hours Later:

Bobby and Caleb went into the motel and booked the rooms while Dean stayed with his still unconscious brother. They had made it to another county, to another small non-descript town but with a reasonable looking motel.

'We got two connecting rooms,' Bobby said as he joined Dean in the impala, 'Caleb and me will take the first one and you guys can have the one on the end of the block.'

'Thanks Bobby.'

'Don't sweat it kiddo, oh by the way as soon as we're settled we're going to have a talk about Sam's past convulsions.'

'Yeah sure Bobby,' Dean sighed, he could kick himself for saying something but he was just so tired of all the secrets and trying to keep them.

The three men managed to get Sam into the bed furtherest from the door, before Caleb went for a food and medical supplies run. Bobby made a pot of coffee and laced it with some whiskey while he waited for Dean to finish fussing around his brother.

'Did ya feel that?' Bobby asked as he stared around the room worriedly, 'like a breeze coming in.'

'Nah I didn't … you okay Bobby?' Dean turned to look at his friend and mentor he hated to see the exhausted and haggard look on the older man's face.

'Yeah, yeah just a bit tired I suppose,' Bobby rubbed the back of his neck, 'damn must've gotten a bug bite too.'


	4. Chapter 4

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

**Disclaimer**: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

**Author's Note 1:** **Warning! **This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

**Quick apology**, for taking so long between chapter updates, but real life has been worse than any reality show with health issues, studying for my MA, family problems and a new boyfriend time is something that I am missing big time! Hence still up writing and posting at 4.30 in the morning! LOL Hopefully I can get back on track after Easter and you won't have to wait for so long. This chapter is a little shorter than normal but I figure it's better than nothing! ENJOY and thanks for being so patient with me.

_What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?_

**Chapter F****our: Beware of staring into the looking glass in case it stares back at you!**

_Are we safe from our dreams as we are in our waking dreams?_

**Then:**

_Six Hours Later:_

_Bobby and Caleb went into the motel and booked the rooms while Dean stayed with his still unconscious brother. They had made it to another county, to another small non-descript town but with a reasonable looking motel._

_'We got two connecting rooms,' Bobby said as he joined Dean in the impala, 'Caleb and me will take the first one and you guys can have the one on the end of the block.'_

_'Thanks Bobby.'_

_'Don't sweat it kiddo, oh by the way as soon as we're settled we're going to have a talk about Sam's past convulsions.'_

_'Yeah sure Bobby,' Dean sighed, he could kick himself for saying something but he was just so tired of all the secrets and trying to keep them._

_The three men managed to get Sam into the bed furtherest from the door, before Caleb went for a food and medical supplies run. Bobby made a pot of coffee and laced it with some whiskey while he waited for Dean to finish fussing around his brother._

_'Did ya feel that?' Bobby asked as he stared around the room worriedly, 'like a breeze coming in.'_

_'Nah I didn't … you okay Bobby?' Dean turned to look at his friend and mentor he hated to see the exhausted and haggard look on the older man's face._

_'Yeah, yeah just a bit tired I suppose,' Bobby rubbed the back of his neck, 'damn must've gotten a bug bite too.'_

**Now:**

_Branches whipped against Sam's face as he ran through the forest, he couldn't take the time to stare around in amazement at the colours of the landscape. Where the trees were reds and blues, they sky was a deep purple and grass was more a black than green. He could hear blood pulsing through veins, the thump, thump, thump, and thump; in time with his breathing, in perfect synchronicity._

_A thick vine appeared from no where and wrapped itself around his ankle pulling him down crashing towards the now rock hard landscape the trees and forest floors gone and replaced with jagged rocks and boulders and burning red sand._

_He cried out as the edges of the rocks cut into the flesh of his hands and knees adding to his growing collection of injuries. Winded and exhausted he tried to free himself from the vines only to find it winding its way around his arms as well as his ankles, twisting and pulling until he was spreadeagled on the ground. The sharp rocks cutting into his back like razors through butter._

_Wind howled around him, whipping his hair into tangles and slices across his face and eyes; it tugged at the remnants of his clothes with force as though the fabric was an affront to it. It also carried his voice away silencing his screams in his own ears but letting them free into the nether regions of space and air._

_Then, then he heard that sound – wings gliding on the wind bringing it closer he could smell the pungent scent of nectar and sulphur mixed together into a choking perfume. It filled his airways constricting his breathing and filled his mind with a strange array of images, violent, sexual and terrifying._

_The wings were above him, sliding over his now naked limbs; slimy residue left in their wake covering him with a gel like substance, binding him as it began to grow and surround him, adhering his arms to his sides and his legs together. The vines withering on contact with the slime surrendered their prisoner over to the new more frightening regime._

_As it started to enclose his face, Sam's eyes snapped open, he opened his mouth and gulped in air until he could scream one word. A name, his only anchor left in reality … "Dean!"_

Dean sat up and held his knife ready as he took in the darkened motel room, he stared at the shadowed corners and then at the doors, starting at the front door, bathroom and finally the joining one to Bobby's room. Nothing seemed to be out of place or different, but something woke him.

He slowly turned to focus on the other bed, a feeling of dread coiling in the pit of his stomach as he realised what had woken him. Sam lay in the other bed, writhing and moaning in the grips of a nightmare. Sweat shone on his brother's pale skin in the insipid moonlight of pre-dawn.

'Sammy?' he croaked out, his voice rough, gravely from his own interrupted slumber when Sam didn't show any signs of coming out of his nightmare Dean climbed out of bed and crouched down next to Sam. After a lifetime of experience of waking a dreaming Sam the older brother had the precautions down pat. He could literally do it while still asleep if he wanted to.

'Sam … dude time to wake up,' he called out a little louder and clearer this time, although he held down Sam's hands. The first time he had woken an adult Sam from his nightmare resulted in a black eye and fractured nose. Dean slept with his knife … Sam used his fists and at that time a head-but. The dream itself was about Sam defending himself against unseen attackers.

'Dean anything wrong?' Bobby's sleep deprived voice came from behind and the younger man found himself relaxing slightly at least he didn't have to deal with this on his own but then he also had an irrational spike of anger at Bobby for encroaching on his territory.

'Sam's having a nightmare and can't wake him.' Dean said without turning around to face his "uncle". 'Dammit Bobby what do I do now?'

'How's his breathing?' Bobby asked as he approached the beds, wary of both of the younger men, both in pain, confused and exhausted. One locked in a dreamscape and the other in a waking one.

'Really bad, like he's fighting for each one, as though something's smothering him …' Dean's voice trailed off as he stared down at Sam's face in horror, 'dammit Bobby he is being smothered, I can't wake him up and something's cutting off his breathing.'

'Okay … Dean keep a hold of his hands for me, don't want to end up like ya last time he swung out before waking up.'

'Nice, thanks for the reminder!' Dean quipped, his relief palpable for having Bobby there with him. 'Bobby do ya smell that?'

'Like a sweetened sulphur?' Bobby's nose wrinkled in disgust, 'argh that's revolting.'

'Tell me about it,' Dean ground out, 'it's all over Sam.'

'Try to get him to wake up again Dean,' Bobby said as went to the bathroom and came back with a damp washcloth, passing it to the older brother Bobby took hold of Sam's forearms and pinned him gently. 'See how that goes.'

'He's so hot Bobby,' Dean said as he wiped down Sam's face, 'hey kiddo time to wake up … Come on open those puppy eyes I know you wanna.' Dean tried to cajole Sam back to wakefulness but Sam seemed to struggle on; although he was visibly weakening.

'Damn it! Sam Winchester you wake up now!' Dean ordered tapping Sam's cheek a little harder than he intended but it appeared to have an impact as the younger man showed signs of wakefulness. 'Sammy? Come on dude you can do it.'

Sam let out a heartbreaking cry, his breath gurgling and crackling as he gulped trying to catch his breath. His eyes snapped open although they were fixed and unblinking filled with trails of blood as vessels burst with the effort of waking.

'Dean!' Sam screamed hoarsely his entire upper body lifting off the bed before slamming back down forcing his last breath from his lungs.

'No, no don't you dare Sam … don't you dare stop breathing on me.' Dean snapped as he bent over his brother's chest desperate to hear anything.

'Dean?' Bobby asked in hushed tones after painstakingly long minutes of waiting.

'He's not breathing Bobby.' Dean cried out.

'Caleb git yer ass in here.' Bobby yelled as he and Dean started to do resuscitation breathes on Sam, when Caleb appeared brandishing his gun and knife he stared around the room with a glazed expression and then dropped his weaponry and joined them at Sam's bedside.

'What happened?'

'He was having a nightmare and now he's not breathing,' Dean said between breathes.

'Caleb take over here for me will ya? Yer got younger lungs than me.' Bobby said as a savage pain attacked his neck and head. The bug's bite from earlier throbbed and pulsated with each breath Bobby took himself let alone for Sam.

_The hard cocoon finished sealing itself around his body, cutting Sam off from everything and everyone. He felt his body start to shut down and panic settled on his chest; his eyes glued closed effectively blinding him, his nose and ears filled with the thick syrupy goo and then his mouth became sealed. His mind aware and racing with panicked thoughts and terrifying images was the only active part of his body. He felt his organs slow to a stop, his lungs freezing, filled with ice and he realised that he was drowning from the inside out._

_Warmth sudden and all encompassing seemed to thaw his frozen chest, allowing another to breath for him. All he wanted to do was to follow the breathing to its origin, to say thank you before he died. The cold was going and cracks started to form in his icy cocoon, splitting in different areas allowing warmth to permeate through his limbs once again. A bright silver ball of light hovered over him and he instinctively knew who it was._

'Dean he's breathing, he's coming back to us,' Caleb said breaking the grief-filled silence, 'Sam's breathing again.'

'Caleb?' Dean blinked and looked over at the older man before turning unwilling eyes to his brother's lax features, 'you brought him back man.'

'We all did, hey could you smell that weird smell before?' Caleb asked as he continued to minister to the youngest Winchester, 'kind of like sweetened sulphur?'

'Yeah both me and Bobby smelled it earlier … it was covering Sam.'

'Mmm… hmmm… argh,' Sam frowned as he fought his way back to consciousness.

'Sammy? That's it dude come on back.' Dean said coaching his brother back to him, he wanted to laugh and cry and then to rant at Sam for staying silent to begin with. If he had spoken up before things got so bad … _but then again did Sammy even realise what was happening to him?_

Sam opened his mouth a few times as though he was gasping for breathes, the air scorching the abused lining of his throat but it felt so good as he greedily sucked it in he didn't mind.

'Hey Sammy it's so good to have ya back but ya gotta stop scaring us like this.' Dean said as he wiped Sam's face with the washcloth again, 'you gonna keep waking up and talk to me?'

'De … not safe … gotta go and leave … now before he comes back,' Sam pushed the words out and hoped that they came out sounding right, everything was so muddled in his mind and he wasn't sure what was real and what was the Other now.

'I'm right here Sammy I'm not going anywhere or being sacrificed to a moth.' Dean tried to console his brother but Sam seemed to be locked into a different world again.

'Bobby look at Sam's eyes,' Caleb said softly not wanting to startle the volatile Winchester brothers.

'Caleb?' Bobby and Dean asked in unison. Bobby moved closer and flicked torchlight across Sam's unresponsive pupils.

'Ahh what else is gonna happen to ya kiddo?' Bobby said under his breath before looking up at Dean, 'I think … I think Sam might be blind Dean.'

'Wha … what?' Dean stammered and stared at his uncle in shock, 'blind? HOW?'

'Not sure but his pupils are fixed, there's no reaction to light, movement or anything.'

'All dark now … moth gone hunt now … protector hide … sacrifice … my blood burns … feeding time at the zoo…' Sam continued to mutter randomly at times sounding as though he was conversing with someone other times he just uttered words or phrases without any apparent relevance.

'Sammy can you hear me?' Dean asked as he took his brother's hands in his own, it seemed forever ago when he stormed out of their motel room on the pretence to get food and now … now it all seemed irrelevant.

'De-Dean.' Sam nodded and cocked his head to one side, 'so dark.'

'S-S-Sammy … something happened to your eyes.' Dean said as he tried to find an explanation for his ailing brother.

'M'tired … sleep now … no feeding.' Sam slid back down and rolled over onto his side instinctively facing Dean's bed and Dean himself as his eyes slid shut and his tortured breathing finally evened out.

Dean stayed still watching his brother intently for a few minutes before turning to face his friends and mentors, 'we've gotta get this freaking moth-man guys.'

'You got much research done on the hunt before this all went to hell in a hand-basket?' Caleb asked Dean, all three of the older men suddenly felt a small weight lift from them as they slipped into their familiar mantles of hunters.

'Yeah Sam … he said it's a Gorathic Moth,' Dean said as he went over to the pile of notes next to Sam's laptop, his breathing hitched slightly as he thought of Sam never seeing or reading again. Clearing his throat with a short cough Dean straightened his shoulders and let the hunter persona take over. 'Sam said that in very general terms, it has moth like wings, and a body shaped like a man but with the antenna and stuff of a normal moth he-he said that they're ancient and were considered stuff from myths and legends until now."

'A Gorathic Moth?' Bobby mused over the information as he started to unconsciously rub the back of his neck.

'Bobby you okay there?' Caleb asked as he watched his friend suddenly become pale and shaky. 'Bobby?'

Before Caleb or Dean could do anything to help him, Bobby tumbled from his chair to the floor as he started to convulse, his limbs flailed uncontrollably as the convulsion became stronger and more violent, it took both Dean and Caleb to get him situated into a recovery position and away from anything he could hurt himself on as they had to impotently watch their friend struggle through back to back seizures, until blood trickled out of Bobby's ears and nose.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

**Author's Note 1:** **Warning! **This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

**Author's Note 2**: **This chapter is dedicated to GLuisa88**, thanks so much for your wonderful review, it came at a perfect time for me and I just wanted to say thank you!

_What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?_

**For GLuisa88:**

**Chapter 5: Boy … You've got to carry that weight a long time.**

_Do friends wear masks and only appear true in your dreams?_

**Then:**

_'A Gorathic Moth?' Bobby mused over the information as he started to unconsciously rub the back of his neck._

_'Bobby you okay there?' Caleb asked as he watched his friend suddenly become pale and shaky. 'Bobby?'_

_Before Caleb or Dean could do anything to help him, Bobby tumbled from his chair to the floor as he started to convulse, his limbs flailed uncontrollably as the convulsion became stronger and more violent, it took both Dean and Caleb to get him situated into a recovery position and away from anything he could hurt himself on as they had to impotently watch their friend struggle through back to back seizures, until blood trickled out of Bobby's ears and nose._

**Now**:

An hour later saw both Bobby and Sam occupying the two beds; both men silent and still as they fought internally for against the unknown and unseen enemy as Caleb worked feverishly on the laptop trying to find more information on the Gorathic Moth and Dean tended to the unconscious hunters. Bobby moaned slightly and showed some signs of waking while Sam lay in an almost deathlike state; Dean sat between them and alternatively wiped their faces, arms and hands with cool wet cloths although it probably only made him feel better for doing it rather than having any benefit for Bobby or Sam.

'Ya know Bobby you asked me to tell ya about the first time Sam had a seizure, and I guess while you're out for the count is the best time to tell ya the story.' Dean admitted as he glanced over at his brother's slack features. 'Feels like a freaking life time ago since it happened,' he admitted as he swiped his hand over his own eyes and slumped a little more into the uncomfortable wooden chair. 'We were hunting a Rawhead and dad wanted to use Sammy as bait. He was about fourteen I guess maybe a little bit younger; it was Sam's first hunt…'

_I couldn't believe what dad was suggesting, my stomach started on me and I really felt like throwing up. 'Dammit dad Sam's only been on one hunt he barely knows what is out there.' I heard myself yelling the words before I could stop myself and then I saw the look come across dad's face. Almost in slow motion his eyes darkened and shadows moved in to hide most of his features. It was then that I had realised I had overstepped my position in this family yet again. But damn it this is Sammy we're talking about, the kid can hardly hold a gun and dad wants to use him as bait. _

_'This is not open for discussion Dean, your brother has had it too easy for too long now, he has to learn what is out there and how to fight it.'_

_'Yeah but Rawheads go after kids Sammy's age it's like waving that red flag in front of a raging bull.'_

_'Watch your tone boy.'_

_'Yessir.' I snapped it was impossible trying to discuss things with dad when he's in these moods his favourite companion is Jim Bean not me or Sam. The acrid bitterness burning in my stomach started to make its presence known, I'm gonna have an ulcer before I'm twenty at this rate! _

_'When are you going to tell Sam?' I asked as I tried to reign in my urge to punch dad until he understood about Sam._

_'I'm not,' dad said and I should have known and expected what came next but it still hit hard and hurt, 'you are. You think that you can handle Sammy better than me then you can tell him.'_

_Fuck dad didn't even give me a chance to change his mind after that, he went and got his keys and slammed out of the motel room without saying another word or even look at me. A small sound I barely heard had me spinning around in horror as I stared at the pale face of my baby brother. 'S-Sammy?'_

_'What does dad want me to do Dean?' Sam asked me and I felt like throwing up again._

_'We ahh have a new hunt Sammy,' I started but when I looked down at Sam, really looked at him I knew that he had heard everything._

_'What's a Rawhead?'_

_'A creature that hunts kids…'_

_'that's why dad wants me to be … b-b-bait?' I could see the tears and fear in Sammy's eyes and for that solitary moment I hated dad. _

_'yeah Sammy he does.'_

_So we went on the hunt, with Sam out there alone, and so scared he was shaking and dad never said a word just watched with this look that said right then and there, we weren't his kids we were his soldiers to send out into battle._

'I remember hearing Sammy's screams, fuck I can still hear them more remember them than anything else. Dad took off after the Rawhead and left me to look after Sammy, there was so much blood and then Sammy started to jerk and went into these convulsions … I was eighteen years old and never had to deal with … I thought Sammy was in the throes of dying and then dad came back all smiles coz he got the monster.'

Caleb had stopped typing and turned to listen to Dean's recanting of the story to an unconscious Bobby and Sam, his heart broke a little for the eldest Winchester brother just then he knew that John had expected more from his sons than anyone should but that was just out of line even for John Winchester: the great hunter himself.

Dean straightened his shoulders and glanced over at Caleb when he suddenly heard the sounds of typing and sniffling, _sniffling? Caleb? _'So dude how's the research?' Dean asked as he cleared his throat but he still sounded gravely from his unspent emotions.

'Fine yeah not much more on what Sam found but…'

'But what dude?'

'I think I might have found a way to kill it.' Caleb said albeit hesitantly when he saw the look of almost hope on his young friend's face, 'it's risky and gonna take a lot of work.'

'So what is it?' Dean demanded narrowing his eyes suspiciously he stood up and moved slowly towards the table where Caleb sat.

'It's a potion which is not so bad in itself a couple of ingredients will be tricky but not impossible to get…'

'So what is the risky part?'

'We need a large amount, I mean a whole lot more than just a vial … we need a few litres of the stuff and it has to be sprayed directly onto the thing when, and this is the hard part we need to do it when the thing is actually visible.'

'Well hell yeah just another walk in the park for us,' Dean drawled, 'beer?' he asked suddenly changing his course and heading towards the small kitchenette he went straight to the fridge.

'Damn only got two left.'

'Well that's enough for now aint it?' Caleb grinned mirthlessly, 'aint like Bobby or Sam will be wanting any at the moment.'

'Sam's getting dehydrated.' Dean said randomly as he handed the open can to his friend, 'can see it in his skin and he's lost so much weight.'

'We'll fix this Dean you have to keep believing that we will.'

'Yeah I know have a bit of faith…'

'And let wisdom reign …' Caleb added, 'dunno where I got that from.'

'Whatever dude, so we need a super-soaker huh?'

'Okay random … we need a what?'

'You said we need something to spray a large amount of the potion at the moth-man … still can't believe we're fighting an actual moth-man! What about a super-soaker?'

'What like a water canon?'

'Nah nothing that big but … it's like a giant sized water pistol but pump actioned … where were you raised dude?'

'Obviously not in the same place or style as you were.' Caleb shot back wincing slightly when he saw the sadness settle in Dean's eyes again. 'So we need to do a beer run and go to a toy department?'

'Yep looks like it …' Dean said as he turned to stare forlornly at his unconscious brother and uncle, 'but someone has to stay with Sammy and Bobby.'

'You stay Dean … I'll round up what we need for the potion and a … super-soaker.'

'Don't forget the beer.'

S—D

Bobby slowly opened his eyes and tried to focus on the shape floating in front of him, he could taste something sweet and yet foul on his tongue and all he wanted was a drink to wash it away. But the effort of speaking was almost beyond him; he knew that he was required for something to do with the protector but damned if he knew exactly what it was.

'Bobby? You awake dude?' A gravely and tired sounding voice came from the blurred figure hovering in front of him and for a moment Bobby wanted to shy away from the danger radiating from the other's presence.

'Damn it Bobby wake up and talk to me dude, I'm going nuts here talking to myself.'

The voice demanded this time forcing Bobby to concentrate on the blurred blob; gradually his sight cleared and he could make out a shadowed form, although everything he could make out was a creamy white and made it very disconcerting for the older hunter. 'D-Dean?' Bobby grunted, 'thirsty.'

'Hang on dude I got some water here,' the relief in Dean's voice was palpable and it was enough to help Bobby emerge completely from his chrysalis-like state.

Dean felt like crying when he saw Bobby slowly start to rouse himself, to begin with it was barely perceptible with just the tiniest of twitches with his fingers that slowly morphed into more of scratching movements. Then the tic around his eyes started, every so often a tiny little tremor in the corner of his eyes made it appear as though he was blinking in his sleep but with his eyes half open showing a milky-whiteness.

'Just a few sips,' Dean coached the man he thought of as not just a friend but family, 'don't need ya to choke or anything.'

'How … how long?'

'Few hours.' Dean said anticipating the question, 'Sam's still out of it but at least he's still breathing.'

'Good … Dean … can't … can't see ya.'

'Yeah figured as much your eyes are milky-white just like Sam's were before … must be an effect of the moth's bite.'

'Ya mean I got whammied by a freaking moth?' Bobby asked blinking rapidly he tried to clear his vision but nothing happened all he could see was white nothingness.

'That just about covers it, if it helps any no one can see the thing before it attacks.'

'Oh yeah that just really makes things so much better.'

'Well ya must be feelin' better for all of your bitching.' Dean said as he helped Bobby sit up a little more and then handed him the glass of water, 'remember not too much at once.'

'What are you my mother ya idjit?' Bobby growled as he sipped at the cool liquid, 'be better if it had a bit of flavour in it … a smooth malt whiskey would be just right.'

'Nope, no alcohol until we find out exactly what is going on with these bites … so far it's just you and Sammy.'

'How's the kid doing? Honestly?'

'Honestly? He's hanging in … just.' Dean's voice started to crack again and he had to turn away from Bobby even though at the moment Bobby couldn't really see him or the tears that threatened to fall making his green eyes shimmer and glisten like shards of diamonds.

'Dean? What is it?'

'Sorry Bobby … Sam's no worse but he's no better either … I – I think it's almost as though he's been put into a cocoon or something like that.'

'How so?'

'The way he's lying now, he's gone from being curled on his side to flat on his back as rigid as all hell. Ahh he's breathing is shallow and infrequent, sounds so forced like he's pushing through something just to catch a breath. Man he looks like a freaking mummy or something.'

'Oh okay …' Bobby scratched his nose and then lifted his own hand in front of his eyes but couldn't see anything at all except the blurred outline of a undefinable shape hovering in front of him. suddenly a buzzing like sound filled his ears; the pain was intense and immediate, curling his fingers over each ear he wanted to protect them but the screeching buzz was deafening and coming from within his own head.

'Bobby? Bobby come on talk to me dude what's happening?'

'Must … destroy … protector.' Bobby pushed the words out; but for Dean as he watched it looked as though each word Bobby uttered caused him immediate pain.

'Bobby please talk to me … don't you … not like Sam.' The random statements burnt in Dean's throat as he watched helplessly as another of his family, his loved ones start to succumb to the effects of the Gorathic Moth's bite.

S—D

_'Where are you Dean? Why can't you see me?' Sam cried as he huddled against the large tree trunk. He had been running for so long, his legs ached and cramped with the exertion. All he wanted to do was to sleep but it was too dangerous. The moth knew exactly where to find him and it kept up its own malicious attack against Sam; hovering just above or behind him the draught caused by the giant wings freezing his flesh, as he alternated from wet to dried and cracked skin. Unable to get to his feet anymore Sam pushed himself onto his hands and knees and crawled determinably away from his tormentor. Blindly he pushed his hands out in front of him feeling for any dangers before he moved, it was slow, agonisingly slow but at least he felt a modicum of safety in doing so._

_His head hurt so much it was hard for Sam to keep his head upright, the weight pushing against his scalp made him want to weep. Although, as long as he kept moving and following the silver orb he knew he would find his saviour, not only of his mortal body but of his sanity._

_The moth struck out with claws and wings against his back trying to stop his agonising slow progress but Sam kept moving. Razor sharp talons ripped through his t-shirt and tender flesh flailing long strips of skin from along his spine, the wings beat him so hard they left large black and purple bruises in their wake. Each beating or scratch made him scream in pain but he kept moving he had to find Dean … his protector will save him when he knew deep down that there was no one else he could depend on. He had no one else save for his big brother, no one who loved him and cared for him and even that was undeserved. _

_Perhaps it was time to let go, to give in and relinquish his tenuous hold on his life and sanity. Perhaps it was time for him to save the protector?_

S—D

Bobby moaned and tried to hide from the insistent voice mocking him and ordering him to accept his fate. He was the Destroyer of the Protector; the protector had to go in order for the Tribute to be given over fully. In his mind he saw the face of the Protector; the features were familiar but all he could feel when he saw the face was contempt. Although the contempt made him feel uneasy and ill it wasn't a natural feeling at all.

Dean sat silently watching his two charges, his baby brother Sam who up until recently was his world; a world that was fast crashing down around him and then there was Bobby his "adopted uncle" who at times seemed to understand him better than his father ever did. Then, then there was John Winchester, father, commanding officer, friend and stranger, the enigma that was his father who was now gone … because of Dean.

Would Sam and Bobby be lying in those beds afflicted with the bites of a supernatural moth if John was still alive and in charge? Then again would John have tried to save their lives or have given them up in order to kill the monster and to "avenge" their deaths?

'What do I do dad?' Dean whispered as he drained the last of his coffee before going into the kitchenette to go through the motions of making another pot of the thick, strong black stimulating drink. 'What the freaking hell do I do now?'

'De?' Sam's weak voice travelled across the room and seemingly broke through the calamitous voices and thoughts occupying Dean's mind. Blinking furiously to clear his vision and in turn his thoughts Dean forced himself back to his ailing brother's bedside. Propping himself on the edge of the mattress his took Sam's large hand in his slightly smaller one and prayed to that elusive God it was not just a trick of his mind and that he did hear Sam's cry.

'De?' Sam pushed the tiny plea out of his still lips once again and Dean felt his chest start to constrict again.

'Sammy? Can ya hear me dude?'

'N-no time …' Sam started to speak again, sounding as though he was trapped underwater, filled with fluid and cracking with effort the strain evident on his face as his cheeks appeared to become even more sunken as Dean watched.

'I don't know what to do … I'm losing you and I don't know what to do …' Dean carefully gripped Sam's biceps and pulled his little brother upright. With innate tenderness he held his brother as he moved to sit behind Sam. But just as he was about to settle Sam against his own chest Dean looked down at Sam's back in abject horror.

The tender flesh was covered in bloody slashes criss-crossing the entire spans of his back. Large spongy bruises covered the area of skin where the skin was still intact, black and purple in colour they were the shape of large handprints as though someone has deliberately pummelled him with their with their bare fists.

Sucking in a deep breath Dean angled Sam so that he was resting on his side against Dean's chest, his arm loosely looped around his thin waist to keep him upright, Sam's head tucked in under Dean's chin gave him all of the support he needed.

As he settled them in the bed, Dean belatedly realised that Sam's breathing had eased and sounded less strained. Taking a minute amount of comfort from the fact that he had actually done something to make his little brother a little more comfortable Dean let himself relax enough to ease his own breathing; he reclined against the padded bedhead and extra pillows, took the bulk of Sam's weight and noticed with dismay at just how much weight Sam had lost since his ordeal had begun.

'Ya know Sammy, this isn't the first time I've had to sit like this with ya,' Dean said as he slowly tugged his fingers through Sam's sweat matted long hair. 'I don't know what woke me that night, you must've been about eight or nine I guess. We were staying in another nameless motel in the middle of shit-knows-where while dad hunted in the next state over. It was snowing and dad said we didn't have to go to school that week until he got back coz we had no way of getting there and he didn't trust the school buses. Anyway I remember you were pissed as with dad coz you had an entry in the science fair and they were gonna announce the finalists on the Monday and you were gonna go to school no matter what dad said.

So anyway I dunno if you remember this but you got this cough after sneaking off to school. Dude you were the only geek I knew who would sneak off to school and not sneak off from school … I followed close by coz I knew what you were doing even if you thought you were being so smart. I saw you get that ribbon for being a finalist … bet you didn't know I was there did ya bitch? I never said but I was so proud of ya Sammy, I think it was just then when I realised just how scary smart you really were.

That night you got that cough, and tried to hide it … tell ya a secret Sammy you could never hide anything from me … well back then anyway. Next thing I knew you had a fever, you were all blocked up and had trouble breathing. The cough was awful and chesty … we spent most of the night in the bathroom, getting steam into yer lungs and then I gotcha into bed and sat behind ya just like this so you could breathe properly. I remember Caleb came by the next day, looking for dad … anyway he found us like this and took one look at ya…'

'And took both of ya straight to the hospital to get the little runt checked out, ended up with pneumonia and on antibiotics. I had to pretend to be yer big brother and guardian.' Caleb finished for Dean as he finally made his presence known to the Winchester brothers.

'You … you did?' Sam blinked sluggishly and turned his head towards the direction Caleb's voice came from.

'Yep sure did kiddo, how you doing?'

'Drowning,' Sam muttered as he burrowed his face closer into Dean's collarbone, his skeletal-like fingers twisting into the cloth of Dean's shirt.

'Dean?' Caleb looked at the older brother his concern ramping up when he saw the look on Dean's face, 'Dean what is it dude?' He dumped his shopping bags and what appeared to be a boxed large pump-action toy gun on the table and hurried over to Sam's bedside.

'Look at his back.' Dean said without making eye contact with his mentor and friend.

Caleb visibly paled when he saw the damage done to Sam's back; dropping onto the now empty wooden chair Caleb stared the injuries in shock unable to properly comprehend what had happened. 'How? When?'

'Dunno dude just found 'em when I sat him up.' Dean said his voice sounding hollow and emotionless.

'I was bad … didn't listen … tribute had to pay.' Sam tried to get out the words to explain what had happened but they were too jumbled for him to make sense of, he could only hope that Caleb and Dean understood him. 'Had to … fight … fly away … ' Sam stifled a giggle as he shifted one hand to grip Dean's bicep, tightening his fingers to clutch at the muscle, 'gotta fly … no … no hide … find … zoo … cage locked. Crawl … hide … silver ball … follow. Find me … feeding time … tribute … protector … no protect tribute … hide … gotta go save protector.'

'Sammy, come on dude concentrate yer not making much sense.' Dean cupped his hand around Sam's chin and tried to make his brother lift his face up so he could try and see what was going on his with his sibling.

S—D

Bobby lay quietly listening to the others, he had heard Dean tell Sam the story and then when Caleb came in and finished it for him. _Aint that sickeningly sweet! Idjits dunno what is waiting for them. _The contemptuous thoughts pushed their way through his clouded mind as murderous images of his killing the Tribute's Protector took shape and clarity filled his mind.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

**Author's Note 1:** **Warning! **This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?

**Chapter 6: And he's buying a stairway to Heaven part 1.**

_Are those we love even more truthful in our dreams than in our lives?_

**Then:**

_'I was bad … didn't listen … tribute had to pay.' Sam tried to get out the words to explain what had happened but they were too jumbled for him to make sense of, he could only hope that Caleb and Dean understood him. 'Had to … fight … fly away … ' Sam stifled a giggle as he shifted one hand to grip Dean's bicep, tightening his fingers to clutch at the muscle, 'gotta fly … no … no hide … find … zoo … cage locked. Crawl … hide … silver ball … follow. Find me … feeding time … tribute … protector … no protect tribute … hide … gotta go save protector.'_

_'Sammy, come on dude concentrate yer not making much sense.' Dean cupped his hand around Sam's chin and tried to make his brother lift his face up so he could try and see what was going on his with his sibling._

_S—D_

_Bobby lay quietly listening to the others, he had heard Dean tell Sam the story and then when Caleb came in and finished it for him. Aint that sickeningly sweet! Idjits dunno what is waiting for them. The contemptuous thoughts pushed their way through his clouded mind as murderous images of his killing the Tribute's Protector took shape and clarity filled his mind._

**Now:**

Caleb scrubbed at his stubbled chin and watched Dean fuss over Sam who had finally drifted off into a restless sleep. The piles of notes on the tables and pages stuck around the walls showed the length and breadth of their growing obsessive need to finish this one way or the other. Sipping his cold beer, Caleb picked up the latest print out and stared at the blurred words until they came into focus.

'Okay according to the lore or lores depending on which one you believe, the Tribute is the sacrifice offered to the Gorathic Moth every seven turns of the four seasons … Seven years? Anyway usually a young male and if chosen by the so-called followers will either be a virginal teenager or an unmarried youth of good stead, often a diaconate training to be a priest or scholar.' Caleb paused and watched Dean for a few seconds sure that he would make some cutting remark about diaconates but when he remained silent Caleb took a deep breath and continued, 'the preferable way of the sacrifice is for the followers to choose one but the moth itself would often choose its own tribute or offering. The Protector was appointed to make sure that the Tribute remained unharmed until the time of the ritual and … now this is where the differences in the lores really stands out … some say that the Protector's job finishes as soon as the ritual starts, others say that the Protector actually dies alongside the Tribute to continue protecting him in the afterlife and the last account is that the Protector is self-appointed and who swears to protect the Tribute from all including the Gorathic Moth itself. Kind of like a knight in shining armour,' this time his words earned Caleb a frosty glare from Dean. Stifling a chuckle Caleb cleared his throat and continued once again skipping through a lot of repeated information until he narrowed down the important stuff. 'Okay so this is where it starts to get really juicy! The Protector will fight the Destroyer, the moth's chosen champion, in order to protect the sacrifice's life the fight was always to the death and then the moth takes its tribute anyway.'

'Shit dude did you take a breath with all of that?' Dean asked as he tried to take in everything Caleb had just told him. 'Let's see if I get this right, the moth has a chosen champion known as the Destroyer, the Tribute is a male sacrifice to the moth-man and the Protector is someone who gives his life to save the sacrifice?'

'Yeah more or less,' Caleb nodded and put the papers back down on the table as he glanced over at Sam. 'Ya know this is really screwed up dude Sam is in a pretty poor shape compared to the way the Tribute is supposed to be … where are these followers and who is the Destroyer?'

'For arguments sake say I'm the Protector and considering the fact that you the only other one who hasn't been bitten that leaves … ahh fuck!'

'Dean?' Caleb sat up straight and stared at his young friend with a harsh glint to his eyes, 'what you talkin' bout?'

'Fuck the Destroyer … it's Bobby.'

'And how did you come to that conclusion?'

'Think about it Caleb, it all fits why else would it have targeted Bobby?' Dean rubbed his eyes wearily and moved Sam into a slightly more comfortable position against his chest. He had tried to extricate himself from beneath his brother only to have Sam start to choke and gasp for breath as soon as his head was lowered back to the pillows. Leaning against Dean with his upper body supported seemed to be the only position Sam could breathe comfortably in. 'Someone who is already close to Sam and above suspicion … The perfect in for it.'

'And we all know that you're the perfect Protector I mean look at yourself already and before you say anything I aint sayin' that's a bad thing but it all fits.'

'So we fit the parts we need to know how to end the whole story Cal, how do we get this thing and destroy it before it makes Bobby…?' Dean left the question hanging unable to bring himself to call Bobby a Destroyer, murderer or attacker … It was not going to happen and that was all there was to it.

'Dean?'

'Huh what?' Dean blinked and frowned at Caleb he was sure that his friend had said something but for the life of him he couldn't remember what it was.

'Where did ya go just then dude? You blanked out on me.'

'Sorry I ahh … dunno tired I guess.' Dean said a little sheepishly, 'so when do we get to play with the super-soaker?'

'Well the sacrifice is supposed to happen on the night of a black moon,' Caleb said as he read off the printout, 'the sacrifice is placed on an altar with candles placed on the points of a pentagram around it. I guess the pentagram is drawn and then the altar is placed in the centre of it with the candles … all black by the way … placed at each point and lit at the same time. The Gorathic Moth will only be visible when the flames are the only source of illumination, huh maybe that's where the moth's drawn to the flame comes from. Anyway the Protector then stands at the head of the Tribute and declares his intentions and calls for any … not too sure what this word is but I think it's dissenters … for any dissenters to come forward or to keep still. This is where the Destroyer can come in and make a stand against the Protector in the name of the moth. Apparently from what I can workout the greater the protection for the followers if there is blood spilled on the altar and the Off…Offering.' Caleb stopped reading aloud and looked up at Dean with a growing look of horror on his face. 'In other words dude the spilling of blood is expected and is expected to spill _over _the Tribute.'

'So the moth is then drawn to the blood as well as the flame?' Dean asked his own stomach started to cramp again in a vain attempt to empty itself of the emptiness inside it.

'Yep that's what it sounds like, and then the Gorathic moth descends onto the Tribute … oh God … it descends onto the Tribute and feeds before encasing the body in a cocoon and takes it away, returning before the ritual finishes it cocoons the body or bodies of the slain to take as well … the more bodies the better. It then – it then …'

'It then what Caleb don't go girly on me now what else does it do?'

'Ahh okay umm it "mates" with the females amongst the followers until dawn starts to show and then the moth disappears and is no longer seen until the next seven year cycle.'

'The bodies are its food supply I suppose all nice and neatly packaged … what did the followers supposedly get from all of this?'

'Protection from the outside world, no disease, war or well anything really they seemed to live inside this little community and were not affected by the outside world.'

'As though they were cocooned themselves,' Dean said, 'so how come no one has heard of or hunted one of these moths before?'

'That I dunno, from what Sam found and from what I can get off the 'net and it's pretty obscure referencing to say the least they haven't been around for a few millennia literally.' Caleb said as he stood up, stretched and went to scrounge around the leftover pizza slices in the fridge.

'Hey don't hog it all,' Dean said indignantly as he watched Caleb scoff down a full slice of cold pepperoni pizza.

'Mmm good stuff,' Caleb said as he made a showing of licking his fingers and smacking his lips before giving in and taking a piece over to Dean.

S—D

_'Where am I?' Sam asked as he looked around at his new surroundings; it seemed to be a large cave but with ornately carved stone pillars holding the ceiling up, large circular skylights placed evenly around the circular ceiling flooded the inner recesses with warmth and light. A large altar-like rock slab dominated the end of area, directly opposite the cave's opening. It was as though someone had tried to carve a church out of a naturally formed cave. 'Is there anyone else here?'_

_'All in good time,' a disembodied voice answered, 'you are a pretty one.'_

_'You're the moth aren't you?' Sam called out as he turned around slowly his keen gaze taking in everything when he realised a little belatedly that he could actually see._

_'You are sighted here yes, you are mine and I wish for you to see where your future lies.'_

_'My future lies with my brother and not here that's for sure,' Sam called out angrily. 'You're nothing but a fugly moth.'_

_A brush of wings passed by his face startling Sam, he stepped back and ran his hands up his arms trying to dispel the shivers coursing through him. 'Ah but I am much more as you will find out, my pretty little one.' An oily-sounding voice whispered in his ear, 'such a pretty little one.'_

_'Leave me alone.' Sam snapped as he stumbled backwards until his back hit the cave wall, he moved awkwardly as though he had weights on his ankles and wrists, his breathes came in short, sharp gasps as the air thickened around him; he felt as though he was trying to move through thick syrup, fluid and yet solid enough to impede Sam's desperate progress._

_'What … what are you doing to me?' His own voice sounded slurred and thick to Sam's ears, his energy leeched out with each word and movement he made. 'Take me if you want but please leave Dean and Bobby alone.'_

_'No sorry Precious One but it doesn't work like that,' the voice slithered around his head making Sam feel dizzy and disorientated, 'the Protector and the Destroyer both have to play their parts … It is tradition.'_

_'Crap, the demon is the one behind all of this … he's the one who brought you back.' Sam said as the realisation hit him, 'you're powerless now without your mindless followers feeding you … The Yellow-eyed demon is the one pulling the strings.' Sam felt his knees weaken unable to hold him up any longer; he crashed down onto the unforgiving stone floor with enough force to crack his kneecaps. 'Dean!' _

S—D

Dean felt Sam jerk and shudder in his arms effectively silencing any more discussion between him and Caleb, 'Sammy?' he whispered not game to speak any louder.

'Dean!' Sam screamed his brother's name as he sat up and stared around wide-eyed but still unseeing, the milky-mucous veiled his green eyes hiding them completely.

'Sammy what is it?' Dean tried to hold onto Sam without causing him anymore pain or injury, 'talk to me.'

'D-Demon … control … moth.' Sam pushed the words out determined to fight against the effects of the moth's spell.

'What are you trying to tell us kiddo?' Caleb asked as he crouched down next to the bed.

'He's trying to tell you two jug-heads that there is someone else calling the shots!' Bobby snarled from where he stood directly behind Caleb.

'Bobby?' Dean and Caleb spoke in unison as they turned to look up at their friend and mentor. Although now he looked like an evil caricature of himself, his face was twisted into a sneering grimace, his eyes clear of the milky-mucous were now black with yellow flames flickering in them and his skin flushed red and shining with sweat.

'Aint no Bobby here at the moment,' He sneered as he lurched towards them, his movements jerking and stiff just like a puppet on a string. 'Now Protector we have some business between us.'

'I'm not fighting you Bobby,' Dean said as he eased himself from behind Sam, pausing long enough to make sure that his brother was still seated upright, reclining against the pillows and bedhead. 'Come on Bobby fight it I know you're still in there.'

'Sorry aint home at the moment … gone fishing.'

'Dean…' Caleb tried to place himself between Bobby and Dean but ended up flying across the room and crashing into the table and chairs. He lay in the middle of the debris dazed and out of it for a few minutes; the room darkened suddenly the only light coming from the sliver of moon left in the night sky.

A rush of wind filled the motel room, outside it was calm and warm with just a hint of a breeze, but it was a deceptive calm. Inside the one room a tornado raged, smashing furniture and sending papers flying so viciously that they sliced the bare flesh they struck.

A flash of lightening flared inside that one solitary room; blinding anyone who passed by and then as fast as it hit the strange storm ceased and the room was left silent, ruined and empty.

S—D

Caleb opened his eyes and stared around in disbelief it was as if they had been transported back into an ancient time and place. They were in what appeared to be a field with a circle of large rocks in the centre of it. The sky was ink-black and there was no moon or stars to give any light whatsoever. In the middle of the circle of rocks was a large slab of rock shaped like a table or an altar with chains and cuffs on each corner anchored deep into the rock.

The sky was lit up with sporadic bolts of lightning and the scent of fresh grass and rain permeated the air. It was all to clichéd for Caleb and his internal panic alarms were shrieking in his head. Stumbling to his knees Caleb grunted as dizziness assailed him and then his stomach started to churn in time with the pounding from a newly formed headache. 'Dean? Sam?' He called out his voice sounding strange to his own ears: thick and slurred.

'Cal?' Dean's voice seemed to come from a distance but when he was game enough to look up he could see his friend clearly.

'Dean … you okay dude?' Caleb swallowed deeply and managed to get to his feet swaying drunkenly he staggered towards Dean. 'Up and at em kiddo.'

'Aint no kid.' Dean grumbled as he pulled himself up, using the rock altar as an anchor he gave Caleb a mirthless grin when he saw how his friend was dressed, 'dude what dungeons and dragons game did you come from?'

'What?' Caleb frowned as he looked down at his clothes or rather what he thought was his clothes. Now he was dressed in a leather tunic and leggings with ankle boots to match, from the belt around his waist hung a small pouch and a sheath encased dagger. 'What the fuck?'

'Should I call you Robin Hood from now on?'

'Funny Dean oh so funny but take a good look at yourself.' Caleb grinned back.

'What ahhh man!' Dean shook his head when he looked down at the costume he was wearing. A black leather jerkin over a long sleeved black wool shirt and black leather pants and boots; he wore a sword and its scabbard low on his hips, 'feel like I should be in the freaking Pirates of the Caribbean or something.' Wincing with the spike of pain stabbing at the back of his eyes Dean blinked furiously and stared around at their strange surroundings. 'Where's Sammy?'

'And Bobby? Both of them are missing.' Caleb said all of their previous humour and banter gone with the realisation that they were alone.

A gentle breeze picked up and swirled around the rocks cooling them down instantly, rubbing his bare arms against the coolness Caleb moved deciding to do a quick recon, 'Dean … over there.' He said as he pointed to the north.

Dean looked up and focussed on where Caleb was pointing to, in the distance he could see flickering flames as they slowly grew closer to the strange rock circle. Voices drifted on the breeze filling the quiet of the night with tuneless chanting.

'They've got Sammy.' Dean said as he went to charge at them only to find himself unable to move. His feet seemingly glued to the ground, 'now what?'

'Now is the time of the Tribute,' Bobby's voice boomed as he appeared in front of Dean and Caleb, 'you need to be in position Protector,' with a flick of his wrist Bobby sent Dean flying backwards until he crashed against one of the pillars of rock, and then he did the same with Caleb. Both of the hunters found themselves restrained by invisible cuffs to the rock-face, in shock they watched as a group of twelve men paraded towards the circle six of them carrying a litter with a shrouded form on it.

'Sammy!' Dean whispered in abject shock, 'oh God Sammy.'

Caleb watched the scene unfolding in front of him it was just as the reports described except for one vital detail that he couldn't quite remember, but something wasn't right.

The litter carriers placed it next to the altar and then in silent unison lifted the shrouded body up and on the rock. One of the other men removed the shroud and then fastened the cuffs on the Tribute's wrists and ankles before they all stepped backwards lining up in front of the rocks they started to chant again and the ones who held the flaming torches lifted them towards the sky as they waited for the Gorathic Moth to arrive.

Dean kept his gaze fixed on Sam's face; he couldn't think or feel anything his only focus was on his brother. He was aware of the followers and of Caleb's and Bobby's presence but that was all in the end it was all just background noise as he concentrated on his brother's all too still body.

'Dean!' Caleb called again desperately trying to get the younger man's attention, 'Dean listen to me this aint real, none of it's real! Dean!' Horrified Caleb watched as Dean was released from his invisible restraints and dragged over to where Bobby waited for him.

'The Protector will fight the Destroyer, only one will win.' A voice announced carried by the wind. As the wind picked up in response the chant changed to 'only one will win,' and 'death is the end.'

'Dean!' Caleb tried to get his attention again but the chanting only grew louder and effectively blocked him. 'Stupid,' Caleb shook his head angry at himself for not realising it sooner, 'stupid, stupid, stupid idiot.' He berated himself as he strained against the apparently invisible restraints holding him to the rock. The force was gone after two attempts just as quickly as it came and Caleb found himself falling forward with no way of stopping his descent. 'The things I do for you Winchesters!'

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

**Author's Note 1:** **Warning! **This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?

**Chapter 7: And he's buying a stairway to Heaven part 2.**

_Be wary of the shadow man in your dreams he may be standing next to you…_

**Then:**

_'Dean!' Caleb called again desperately trying to get the younger man's attention, 'Dean listen to me this aint real, none of it's real! Dean!' Horrified Caleb watched as Dean was released from his invisible restraints and dragged over to where Bobby waited for him._

_'The Protector will fight the Destroyer, only one will win.' A voice announced carried by the wind. As the wind picked up in response the chant changed to 'only one will win,' and 'death is the end.'_

_'Dean!' Caleb tried to get his attention again but the chanting only grew louder and effectively blocked him. 'Stupid,' Caleb shook his head angry at himself for not realising it sooner, 'stupid, stupid, stupid idiot.' He berated himself as he strained against the apparently invisible restraints holding him to the rock. The force was gone after two attempts just as quickly as it came and Caleb found himself falling forward with no way of stopping his descent. 'The things I do for you Winchesters!'_

**Now:**

Pushing himself up off the ground Caleb forced his way towards Dean and Bobby, the only thought in his mind was to stop the fight before they killed each other. So far it was an uneven fight with Bobby possessed by preternatural forces giving him strength and speed over Dean.

Using the momentum of his berserker rush Caleb launched himself at Bobby, knocking the possessed man to the ground he followed through with a smashing double-fisted punch to Bobby's jaw.

'What the hell Caleb?' Dean fumed as he became aware of the change to the fight, 'get outta here I have to do this for Sam.'

'No … You … Don't!' Caleb pushed the words out as he grappled with his friend, 'stop Dean and listen this is not real. None of it is real!'

'What the hell are you talking about?' Dean pushed himself away from Caleb and swiped at the blood trickling down the side of his face.

'Think Dean, it's all an illusion, this is not real!' Caleb yelled as the lightning intensified and the wind howled around their legs, 'look Dean, really look!'

Dean blinked a few times and stared around him, humouring his freaked out friend but as he concentrated fractures appeared on the horizon. 'What the hell is happening?'

S—D

Dean crawled over to where Sam was slumped against a wall, his chin resting on his chest and his long legs sprawled out in front of him. The fragile flesh on his wrists and ankles bore the cuts and bruises from iron cuffs fastened too tightly around them.

'Sammy? Dude you alright in there?' Dean put his fingers just under Sam's chin and tenderly tilted his face up, 'you with me Sam?'

'Dean?' Sam blinked and turned his sightless eyes to where Dean's voice came from, 'Dean?'

'Hey I'm right here Sam, right here,' Dean took Sam's right hand and lifted it to his cheek, he held it against his face for a brief moment as they forged an even stronger connection.

'Dean, Sam we have to get outta here.' Caleb said as he joined them with a duffle bag slung over his shoulder.

'Where are we … Caleb?' Dean asked as he helped Sam to his feet.

'As far as I can tell … ahh you're shitting me where in the car park of the motel,' Caleb said as he hurried around to Sam's other side and eased the younger man's arm around his shoulders, 'hey Dean do ya notice anything kinda strange?'

'Like there's no one else around yeah I did…' Dean answered as they slowly moved off with Sam slumped between them. 'Let's get Sammy to the impala?'

'The place was packed and now it's like a graveyard.' Caleb mused as he stared around cautiously.

'Ya don't think?'

'We need to get to the impala now!' Caleb said moving with a sudden sense of urgency, 'movement at ten o'clock.'

'Yeah saw it,' Dean tightened his grip on Sam's waist and arm as they hurried towards his baby, 'ahh damn it our stuff … the super soaker that's all still in the room.'

'We get Sam settled and I'll go back and get everything,' Caleb said as he braced Sam against his side while Dean unlocked the car, 'damn he's a heavy kid isn't he.'

'Yeah weird isn't it with all of the rabbit food he eats,' Dean managed a tired grin as he helped Caleb ease Sam into the backseat of the car.

'I'll be right back with our stuff but remember kiddo don't open the car door for anyone else.'

'Hey you're not old enough bad enough to be the old man,' Dean chastised his friend lightly, 'wait Caleb what about Bobby?'

'Dunno dude we'll have to come back for him but first things first we have to get Sam here to safety.'

S—D

Caleb moved stealthily along the veranda keeping to the shadows as he headed towards their now wrecked room. 'This is so freaking insane,' he muttered under his breath when he stopped by a window of one of the rooms and glanced inside; he saw about ten people men and women all standing in seemingly trance like states. They appeared to be unconscious until Caleb got a look at their eyes; all milky white and wide open.

Swallowing deeply Caleb ducked down and crawled past the window their room was just another room away but it seemed like ten miles to him as he came across another group of people the same as the others, looking as though they were waiting for something or someone.

Holding his breath Caleb slowly eased the door open, with his gun cocked and ready and slipped inside. He waited for two heartbeats and then moved further into the room, he could feel the fine hairs on the back of his neck rise and without another thought dropped, rolled and came up in one fluid motion his gun aimed directly at the new arrival.

S—D

When he finally got Sam as comfortable as he could Dean locked both of the back doors and climbed into the front seat. Almost as an afterthought he locked the doors and then moved onto his knees so he could lean over the back of the bench seat to tend to Sam. 'Ah Sammy you hang in here with me, you hear me!' he said as he tenderly brushed an errant lock of hair from Sam's face and then cupped his cheek. 'You're lookin' so tired there kiddo.'

'D-De?' Sam frowned and twitched his nose, giving an impression of a four year old waking up from a nap. He sniffled and pouted a little as he fought the wakefulness.

'Hey, hey Sam no, no going back to sleep kiddo come on I need ya awake.' Dean said trying to keep his tone light but not over excited at the same time, 'time to wakey, wakey.'

'M'tired …De-Dean!' Sam's eyes snapped open, he started to hyperventilate as he gasped for air, 'Dean!'

'I'm right here Sammy, right here,' Dean said as he grabbed one of Sam's flailing hands and pulled it up to hold against his cheek, 'feel that, it's me Sammy I'm right here.'

'De-Dean?' Sam calmed slightly as his fingers traced the lines of his brother's face, 'can't see you.'

'I know Sammy but it's not permanent I promise ya Sam, when we get out of this we'll get your eyes all cleaned up and then what about we take a vacation?'

'M'tired D'n.' Sam slurred slightly as his hand slid down from Dean's face, 'gotta … no – no – no more please no more, leave me alone.' He cried out suddenly banging at the sides of his head with uncoordinated fists.

'No Sam calm down bro please calm down,' Dean cried out as he caught Sam's fists and pinned them to Sam's chest, 'ignore them, ignore the voices and just listen to me. Listen to my voice Sam and no one else, that's it bro you can do it.'

'Here to … zoo feeding … coming … he's coming … no, no Dean … listen … voices hurts…' Sam whimpered as he once again became lost in his own mind and tangled thoughts. _Please Sam don't leave me! _Dean refused to voice the thought as he tried to get his own emotions under control

'Where the fuck are you Caleb?' Dean growled his gravelly voice loud in the closed confines of the car; Sam whimpered and pulled away slightly as he felt the tension radiating from his Protector.

'Moth comes wants Tribute,' Sam pushed the words out as his mind cleared for the briefest of moments and lucidity was once again his. 'Demon controlling but not control … Taken Bobby … Mo-Moth …flames bad feeding time again …ARGH!'

S—D

'You can't kill me Caleb, you can't kill this meatsuit!' Bobby's voice had a singsong lilt to it as the demon riding inside him mocked Caleb. Flames flickered in the cold black eyes as it pushed Bobby's body closer towards Caleb who in turn backed up another step. 'We can dance like this all night if ya like aint gonna make any difference to me in the long run.'

'Why are you? I can't even believe that I'm questioning a freaking demon instead of plugging it full of holes,' Caleb wanted to pace to do something, anything except stand there and stare at the thing riding one of his best friends. 'I'm sorry Bobby,' he said as he lowered his gun slightly and without another thought shot out Bobby's right knee.

S—D

The gunshot made Dean jump and curse under his breath, torn between staying with Sam in the safety of the impala and going to check on Caleb, sure that the gunfire was not a good thing.

When he looked out the windscreen his dilemma was solved instantly, Caleb was doing a berserker rush towards the car, their bags slung over one shoulder, gun in one hand and the super-soaker in the other. Close behind him were men and women chasing him in utter silence they moved as one and if things weren't as dire as what they were Dean could swear that they were in their very own zombie movie.

Sliding in behind the wheel he took a second to enjoy the rumble of the impala as he started the car and threw it into gear, cursing he remembered locking the door just as Caleb was about to reach out, leaning across he pulled up the lock and had the car moving before Caleb was full inside it.

'Damn Dean can't ya wait until I'm in the fucking car?' Caleb yelled as he dropped the bags on the floor and guns on the bench seat between him and Dean.

'So what happened?'

'I shot Bobby!'

'You what?' Dean yelled as he wrestled the car back onto the road and sped away from the motel and their moth zombie attackers.

S—D

They drove in silence for nearly an hour until Sam started to thrash about in the backseat; his screams of pain tore through the silence like a razor blade. Panicked but still in control enough Dean guided his car onto the shoulder of the road far enough off the asphalt to make sure that they were safe and came to a skidding halt amid a cloud of dust and rocks.

Breathing heavily Caleb turned slowly and stiffly from where he had braced himself against the dashboard, 'what the hell?'

Before Dean could say anything Sam screamed again, his back arching off the seat as his body went into spasms so violent he cracked the window with his head. 'Sammy hey, hey calm down for me please bro calm down.' Dean leant over the seat and tried to pin his brother down but it was futile. 'Cal here take my place.' He said as he got out of the front and opened the back door just as the spasms stopped and Sam dropped heavily. Dean just managed to get his arms under Sam's shoulders and eased him down until his head was cradled on Dean's lap. 'Dean? Dean how is he?' Caleb asked as he moved to sit behind the wheel.

'I dunno Caleb, it's like … the further I get him away from the moth dude the worse he's becoming.' Dean looked up as the horror hit him, 'it's killing Sam, I'm killing him if I take him away from that place I'm gonna kill him.'

'Shit so what now? We can't take him back.' Caleb watched Dean carefully as the eldest Winchester brother looked like he was about to fall apart completely.

'We need to hole up somewhere, no further than here or maybe a little bit closer … fuck did I just say that?'

'Okay got a map?' Caleb asked as he scrubbed his hands over his stubbled scalp and then over his face to scrub the cobwebs away.

'Yeah should be either on the floor by ya feet or in the glove box.' Dean said as he returned his attention to his little brother, 'oh and Caleb scratch my baby and you and me are gonna have words.'

S—D

The only sound that could be heard in the night air was the rustling of wings, not a breath of wind or the sounds of the nocturnal animals and birds; nothing moved the world had seemingly stopped for the night.

It searched for its Tribute stolen away by the Protector because it had listened to the lying demon, the underworld dweller and it did not sit well. Thousands of years old it had survived by lore and tradition and it will not be denied the most perfect Tribute ever. Only one before, thousands of years ago one of its first, was as perfect and that had lasted for so long and it had been searching the world since trying to find another Tribute just like him.

Now, now the Gorathic moth dipped and wove through the trees and let out a strange half cry in glee, now it had found him again.

S—D

Caleb eased the impala into the abandoned camp grounds and drove until they were deep within the buildings; he pulled in between two large dorm-like ones and finally came to a complete stop.

Sam had finally stopped screaming and now whimpered incoherently cradled in his brother's lap, his fingers twisted in Dean's shirt hanging on as though it was the only anchor he had left with life.

'We're here Dean,' Caleb said albeit a little redundantly, 'and before you say anything no it's not Crystal Lake.'

'Oh funny haha.' Dean shook his head and then looked down at Sam, 'can ya give me a hand?'

'Yeah sure ahhh you wanna wait here with Sam while I scope out the place and find a good squat for the night?'

'Yeah okay, oh and if anyone comes at ya wearing a hockey mask…'

'I'll scream and run away.' Caleb shot back as he got out and stretched slightly; he took one last glimpse in at the Winchester brothers and then walked away shaking his head. He was constantly amazed by the Winchester brothers but never as much as what he was now.

Both were battered and bruised beyond belief, Sam's mental state was practically non-existent now and Dean's was pretty much destroyed too but they still clung to each other and kept the other one going no matter what. He gave a thought back to his discussion with Dean about wisdom reigning and shivers ran down his spine. Wisdom was as elusive as it was common place and yet the relationship between the two brothers defied any definition of the word.

He even questioned his own wisdom in aligning himself with the Winchester family and Bobby Singer but as quickly as the question entered his mind it was gone replaced with self-recriminations and even a little shame. If he was given the chance to turn back time it wouldn't make any difference; they were family, not blood but family just the same.

He quickly scoped out a smaller dorm at the rear of the property, it seemed to be in the best shape of all of them and had a small fireplace where he quickly made a smokeless fire, illuminating the room and bathing it in warmth. Satisfied with the fire, he quickly pulled some old mattresses towards it, bashing as much of the dust and dirt out of them as possible. Angry squawking from disturbed mice startled the seasoned hunter and then he laughed at something so absurdly stupid.

S—D

It took about thirty minutes for Dean and Caleb to get Sam out of the car and as comfortable as possible on the mattresses in front of the fire, and then for them to get everything the needed from the car and finally the windows and doors salted and warded. While Dean checked Sam for new injuries Caleb set about painting devil's traps on both ceiling and floors, not wanting to make them too obvious but enough so that they were protected from anything.

'We should get some sleep while we can,' Caleb said finally breaking the comfortable silence between them. 'I'll take first watch.'

'Says who?' Dean said as he stifled a yawn.

'I'm older so get over it,' Caleb said, 'lie down and get some shut eye kid I'll wake ya in two hours.'

'It'll be daylight soon, be safer then.' Dean mumbled as he finally gave in to the demands of sleep.

Caleb stoked the fire and set about cleaning their guns even though they were in pristine condition, it helped calm him and gave him something to concentrate on, other than sleeping anyway.

S—D

Sam felt the whisper of wings brush over his body making him shiver, it was here already and he knew it was time. Unable to fight it off anymore he silently gave in, knowing that it was safer for Dean and Caleb this way.

It wouldn't take long now to find him; the cocoon was starting to form again, he could feel it starting to encase his legs soon it would cover him completely and the moth will be there to take him. With as much control as he could muster Sam lifted his hand and touched Dean's cheek, he had to say goodbye before it was too late. 'Dean.' He pushed his brother's name past his frozen lips, 'Dean.'

'Sam?' Dean blinked and rubbed at the grit in his eyes, 'hey how you doing bro?'

'Dean … N-n-no time … fe-fe-feel it … b-b-bye.'

'NO! No Sam don't you dare, don't you say goodbye now.' Dean yelled angrily fisting Sam's shirt he pulled his brother up effortlessly, 'you are not going anywhere you hear me!'

'T-t-tired Dean no more…' Sam whispered his voice barely audible now as he felt the cocoon form itself around his chest, constricting his breathing, 'so … sorry De…'

'Sam!' Dean cried out his voice thick with unshed tears, as he watched his brother's eyes close and his body go rigid once again, 'fucking cocoon, aint no moth getting you Sam, not gonna happen not on my watch!'

'Dean … Dean is he…?'

'He's still breathing but it's like that cocoon is back,' Dean turned to look at Caleb his face set and emotionless, another wall firmly in place, 'tell me that you've got the stuff for the potion Cal.'

'All here ready to mix,' Caleb said steeling his own emotions, 'thought we might fill a few hollow points with it too just for good measure.'

'What about the demon riding Bobby?'

'Got the traps ready and an exorcism ready to go,' Caleb said with a small grim smile, 'we're gonna get Bobby back and save Sam you know that don't you Dean.'

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

**Disclaimer:** I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

**Author's Note 1:** **Warning! **This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

**Author's Note 2: Anon reviewer **Normally I don't respond to reviews in the body of my story but unfortunately there is no other way to with anonymous reviewers. I know that not everyone likes my stories it would be extremely narcissistic of me to think otherwise. I can accept a well rounded critic of the story as they often help build style and voice but to be told that the story is crap and that it is not worth the reviews already received is not constructive or review worthy it is nasty and serves no purpose but to try and make the person hiding behind their anonymous status feel important for a few seconds. Even to the point of defending their use of the anonymous reviewer status. Why read seven chapters and then send such a review? Whatever, you are entitled to your view, just next time keep it to yourself. The old cliché stands true here, if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. Constructive critiques are always welcome, deconstructive and disrespectful comments are not and will be treated with the disdain they deserve.

S—D

What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?

S—D

**Chapter 8: I'll do anything for love … but I won't do that!**

**Then:**

_'Sam!' Dean cried out his voice thick with unshed tears, as he watched his brother's eyes close and his body go rigid once again, 'fucking cocoon, aint no moth getting you Sam, not gonna happen not on my watch!'_

_'Dean … Dean is he…?'_

_'He's still breathing but it's like that cocoon is back,' Dean turned to look at Caleb his face set and emotionless, another wall firmly in place, 'tell me that you've got the stuff for the potion Cal.'_

_'All here ready to mix,' Caleb said steeling his own emotions, 'thought we might fill a few hollow points with it too just for good measure.'_

_'What about the demon riding Bobby?'_

_'Got the traps ready and an exorcism ready to go,' Caleb said with a small grim smile, 'we're gonna get Bobby back and save Sam you know that don't you Dean.'_

**Now:**

Dawn broke over the abandoned camp bathing everything in gold and red hues; a warm breeze moved around the buildings and the sounds of the early morning bird calls gave a reassuring feel to the morning. The dangers of the night before seemed to lessen slightly in the first rays of daylight.

Caleb had the fire flaring again and had started a small breakfast, with very few fresh rations they had enough to see them through the day and that was it. With everything else they had to worry about, food was a low ranking necessity but one just the same. They had to eat to keep up their strength and their energy levels. The can of beans bubbled away nicely and the last pieces of stale bread still toasted up nicely so for now breakfast was a goer; including a cup of coffee, although it was sachets of instant and not brewed. The coffee was strong and hot and that was the main thing.

Dean took time to mash some beans and bread together into a thick paste and then thinned it down with some cold water until he was satisfied that Sam could swallow the food without choking on anything. Once they had finished their breakfasts Dean and Caleb set up everything so Dean could help Sam with some food and Caleb moved into the lookout position.

Dean pulled Sam up until he was lying on his side and resting against his chest; with one arm wrapped around his sibling's shoulders Dean prepared to handfeed Sam. He couldn't help but remember when Sam was only a baby and he was the only one who could get the fussy tyke to eat. 'Come on Sammy see if you can handle some of these yummy beans, mmm yum.' He ran a finger down Sam's throat to try and trigger a swallowing response as he spooned a small amount of the mash into Sam's now open mouth. After two aborted attempts he finally had Sam swallowing on an auto-response but at least he was managing to swallow the nutritious food.

Dean had to smile to himself when Sam clamped his jaws shut indicating that he had had enough, nearly three-quarters of the mashed beans and bread were gone, 'atta boy Sammy,' he encouraged his brother as he lifted the water bottle to Sam's lips and poured a slow trickle between them.

Once Sam had finished his breakfast, Dean lingered a moment longer cradling his brother in a hug while he mulled over another problem. 'So how are we gonna do this Sammy?' he sighed as he looked down at his brother, 'you with me Sam?'

'De-Dean?' Sam managed to get out although if Dean hadn't been listening and watching he would have missed Sam's attempt at speaking.

'You with me dude?'

Unable to answer him Sam blinked tiredly and seemed to watch his brother's face with his milky white eyes. A shaky finger managed to snag a tiny piece of Dean's shirt and that minute movement brought tears cascading down the older brother's shirt. 'We need to get you up and hopefully well I'm sure that you need to pee kiddo, especially seeing you actually had something to eat and kept it down.' Looking down at his brother Dean had to grin in shock when he saw a feint blush appear on Sam's cheeks. 'Dude you're blushing!' He felt like whooping in excitement, the small blush and tracking with his eyes meant that Sam was still in there. 'Okay we need a bottle or something for ya, coz dude you're my brother and I love ya but there is no way knowing that I'm gonna hold it for ya.'

A choked giggle was Dean's reward and for the first time in a long time he felt like they were going to get through this. 'So hang tight here for me Sammy and I'll be right back,' Dean eased his brother down onto the mattress and went in search of a bottle preferably with a wide mouth and clean.

After rummaging around in the back of the impala, Dean found the perfect bottle actually he had forgotten they had had it in the car. After one of their many visits to the hospital for some injury or other their dad had decided to relieve the hospital of a couple of their urinary bottles with three men who sometimes have debilitating injuries they would come in very handy.

'Thanks dad.' He muttered finding the bottle and hurrying back to Sam.

S—D

Caleb kept a respectful distance while Dean tended to his brother's bodily needs and was once again blown away by the tenderness and ease his young friend showed in caring for his sibling. 'You'd make a great dad kiddo,' he muttered as he once again let his gaze roam over their surroundings. A movement in the distance caught Caleb's attention and with a last glance at the brothers he went to investigate.

S—D

After he had Sam settled again Dean finally sat back and relaxed for a moment, he closed his eyes for just a moment he was sure it was just for a second maybe two when he was woken by garbled call of his name.

Snapping his eyes open Dean jumped up and hurried straight to Sam, paling when he saw the rigidness to the long limbs and the wide unblinking eyes, 'dammit Sam no … no!' He dropped to his knees and tried to work out what had gone so wrong so quickly.

_'Dean no please don't!' Sam yelled silently as he lunged against the bars of the cage trying to reach his brother before it was too late. He could see Caleb still hanging where he had been crucified on a tree in the middle of the common. Bobby stood next to the throne or whatever it was of the Gorathic Moth, blank eyed and slack jawed, he showed no recognition of any of them. Dean was standing at the start of what appeared to be a very crude version of the ancient gauntlet. Wearing only a pair of jeans, Dean was barefoot and unarmed, long welts down his back and arms showing that he had already been tortured. _

_Enraged Sam slammed himself against the bars of the cage until he felt bones snap but he couldn't stop, he had to warn Dean it was a trap, it was all a trap._

_'Use your gifts Sam, turn on and come to me.' The voice hissed in his ears, dizzy he staggered slightly but kept his futile attempt to break out of the cage. 'Use your gifts Sam!'_

_His anger fuelled by his fear and hatred of their tormentors Sam concentrated on the bars and smiled coldly as they finally snapped and he was able to step through finally free._

Sam gasped in air as his eyes snapped open and a roar of pent up anger and fear erupted from deep within him.

'Sam?' Dean gasped as he watched his brother come out of whatever was happening to him, 'Sam dude you okay?'

'D-Dean?' Sam croaked the tip of his tongue flicking out to moisten his dry lips, 'where's Cal?'

'What is it Sam? Dude you scarin' me here.'

'I-I had a vision I think,' Sam frowned and lifted a trembling hand to his temple, 'I – I don't feel it in here anymore.'

'Owkay random and totally weird but workable, can you move?'

Sam blinked again and concentrated on moving his stiff limbs, he tried his other arm but found that he could only move his fingers slightly, his legs moved a little freer than his arms but felt heavy and sluggish.

'What about your eyes, can you see Sam?' Dean asked as he put his fingers under Sam's chin and made him lift his face up. 'The white's gone …'

'I can make out things but …' Sam sighed as he lowered his face and turned away slightly from his brother's scrutiny, 'it's not much better.'

'Might just take some time kiddo,' Dean said trying to sound upbeat, 'you're awake and moving dude and at the moment I consider that a win.'

'Yeah it's so bizarre one minute I feel like I'm getting buried alive and can't do anything about it and now I feel like … shit.'

'Yeah well I hate to say it but that's what ya look like too Sammy.' Dean clapped Sam on the shoulder and helped ease his brother into a sitting position; he handed a bottle of water to Sam and watched him closely as he drank. 'This is strange Sam I'm not saying it's a bad thing having ya back and all but …'

'Yeah I know Dean.'

'What else did you see in your vision?'

'Caleb? Where is he Dean?' Sam asked urgently as he choked on some water.

'Hey easy there kiddo, he's outside on lookout why?'

'I – I saw him they…'

'They what Sam?'

'They crucified him. On a – on a tree Bobby was standing next to that Moth and he had no idea who we were, I was in a cage and …' Sam stumbled over the words as he tried to get it all out without losing his tenuous grip on his own sanity.

'Okay Sam slow down and take a deep breath, now what else?'

'They were going to make you run a gauntlet and I couldn't get to you, I couldn't stop it you couldn't even hear me.' Sam lifted his face and squinted until he could make out Dean's features, it wasn't perfect but he was going to get anything he could out of all of this. 'Then I heard this voice telling me to use my powers to give in to them.'

'Sam?'

'I tried to refuse but it kept at me and then I saw what they were doing to you in the gauntlet and I could see Caleb and … and I did it Dean I broke the bars on the cage and stepped out … I gave in Dean … I gave in …'

'Hey, hey Sam, Sam look at me … here look at me,' Dean put his hands on Sam's shoulders and squeezed gently, 'we can work out the rest as it happens. IF it happens!'

'Dean…'

'Nah Sam we'll deal with it all when we need too but for now, now we're gonna get Caleb in here and regroup.' Dean said as he got up, he turned and went to leave to find Caleb when he suddenly turned back and grinned down at his brother, 'it's good to have ya back Sam.'

'I haven't been anywhere Dean,' Sam said with a roll of his eyes, that simple action had Dean laughing out loud, 'what? What Dean?'

'Ah Sammy it's so good to see you do that again, even if your eyes are unfocused and you're more weird looking than normal!'

'Fun-funny Dean.' Sam said wincing as pain spiked through his head, 'ahh that's ow!'

'Sam?' Dean hurried back to his brother and crouched down in front of him, 'you okay dude?'

'Yeah, yeah I'm fine just argh headache,' Sam managed a small smile, 'probably overdoing it a bit.'

'Okay you get some shut eye and I'll go and get Caleb.' Dean waited until Sam laid back down and shut his eyes, 'rest easy bro.'

S—D

The demon smiled and rubbed its hands together, things were coming together better than it had ever imagined. It had both of the Winchesters dancing like puppets on strings, control of a hunter and soon will have another one under its influence. The only obstacle he had now was that pesky moth. It had thought it had all the bases covered with that thing but it's becoming more of a nuisance than the demon ever wanted or needed.

S—D

Dean swore repeatedly when he realised that Caleb was gone; the only sign of his disappearance was the signs of a scuffle in the dirt that and a few drops of blood. He stared around the buildings and shadows searching for any signs of danger before he made a mad dash to Sam, the need to get back to his brother far outweighed any need for his own safety.

'Well, well Dean we got some talking to do,' Bobby drawled as he appeared directly in front of Dean. 'Now don't go frettin' for yer friend or brother they're well taken care of…' as he spoke Bobby pulled out his gun and levelled it at Dean's chest. 'Now we can do this the hard way or …'

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

**Disclaimer:** I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

**Author's Note 1:** **Warning! **This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?

S—D

**Chapter 9: A Hunter, A Moth-Man, A Demon and A …**

**Then:**

_Dean swore repeatedly when he realised that Caleb was gone; the only sign of his disappearance was the signs of a scuffle in the dirt that and a few drops of blood. He stared around the buildings and shadows searching for any signs of danger before he made a mad dash to Sam, the need to get back to his brother far outweighed any need for his own safety._

_'Well, well Dean we got some talking to do,' Bobby drawled as he appeared directly in front of Dean. 'Now don't go frettin' for yer friend or brother they're well taken care of…' as he spoke Bobby pulled out his gun and levelled it at Dean's chest. 'Now we can do this the hard way or …'_

**Now:**

'Hey Bobby,' Dean grinned at the other man, 'wondered where you got to.'

'Nuff talking and let's git going,' Bobby indicated with the gun for Dean to move but the younger man just stood still and shook his head.

'Sorry Bobby but I can't do that,' Dean said amicably.

'Do you want to die here and now then?' Bobby asked as he started to squeeze the trigger ever so slightly to begin with.

'Think Bobby, really think do you want to shoot me? Do you really hate me that much?' Dean stared up into the other man's eyes, silently imploring him to recognise him for who he was and not what the creature tells him.

'Aint gonna sweet talk ya way round me Protector,' Bobby drawled although his gun hand started to shake with minute tremors.

'Hey Bobby do you remember the first day dad arrived at your place with me and Sammy? It was only a few months after mom had died, Pastor Jim sent us to you so you could train dad in hunting. I don't remember a lot but I remember looking up at you with all of your gruffness and growling and you winked at me like it was a special secret between us or something and then you gave me a cookie.'

Bobby opened his mouth to reprimand the insolent Protector when a faint voice sounded through the chaos in his mind. In his mind's eye he could see a tiny four year old staring at him with big green eyes and long blond hair, a look of fear and curiosity fixed firmly on the little face wearing a blue T-shirt, two sizes too big with "I luv classic cars" emblazoned on the front in glittering green letters.

Dean watched Bobby carefully, hoping beyond hope that his words were sinking in, that he was getting through to the other man before it was too late. 'Remember when I was about eight and me and Sam were staying with you, dad was gone longer than he should've been and to stop me from worrying myself sick you started to teach me mechanics. We worked on that cherry red mustang you had under the covers. I remember you saying that you kept it out of view coz it was too special to sell.'

'Mustang?' Bobby said as he furiously shook his head trying to clear his thoughts and to stop the voices.

'Yeah that was the first time you let me help you under the hood, you put Sammy in his playpen in the workshop and made a small stool for me so I could see over the frame, I remember learning so much that day, even what each tool was for and why…'

'Mustang…' Bobby frowned and backed up, putting space between him and the Protector no not Protector. 'D-Dean?'

'Dad finally showed up a week later, with no real reason why it took so long to get back to us … we worked it out a long time after that why he took so long. It was the start of November and mom's fourth anniversary … he went on a huge drinking binge and lost all sense of time and memory.' Dean's voice cracked a little as he spoke, the memory of his dad's torment in the early days still there in the recesses of his mind and it never got any better or duller; just stayed the same and even after all of these years later he can still see his father's face so clearly when he came back to them. 'I remember you made him heaps of coffee and got him to sleep it off in the basement. I remember thinking why would Uncle Bobby make Daddy sleep in the basement unless he had done something really bad. But then, then when I got closer to Dad I knew why. He stunk worse than any skunk and that was saying something! Two days it took before Dad was able to shower and clean up under his own steam. I thought he was gonna die he looked so sick but you just kept cleaning up after him and talking to him.' Dean paused and took a deep breath before adding, 'you were amazing Uncle Bobby.'

Bobby roared as he dropped his gun and gripped his head in agony; he lurched away from his prisoner and blindly staggered into the shadows and undergrowth of the forest, disorientated he moved without any destination all he wanted was to stop the voices and the noise in his head.

S—D

Sam crouched against the wall as he tried desperately to make himself as small as possible while fending off another feeding frenzy from the moth. It was angry and hungry and came at him repeatedly although it didn't physically attack. He could feel the brush of the wings against his skin, the acidic breath on his face but there was no actual feeding this time. Confused Sam lifted his face and tried to focus on the creature but it was hidden from him just like everything else; hidden by a veil of blackness.

'Leave me alone,' he whispered as he pushed backwards using his fingers to feel out the wall.

'Hungry … feed…' the words repeated in Sam's head spiking pain in his already overtaxed mind.

'No more feed.' He yelled as he climbed shakily to his hands and knees and backed along the wall, internally praying for Dean to come and find him.

'He is mine.' The words were hissed out and not directed at Sam, he tilted his head to one side as he listened, another entity was in the room with them and it was not human either. 'You must not take him yet he is my Tribute!'

'Fly home moth-boy you bore me now.' The new arrival spoke and Sam felt physically ill when he recognised the voice.

'He is my Tribute!' the moth hissed again as it placed itself between the demon and Sam. With his heart thumping against his chest and the driest mouth he could ever remember having Sam fought back against the rising panic and continued his painstakingly slow crawl away from his tormentors.

'You have long overstayed your welcome _moth-boy _fly away home before I put you down and out of your misery.' The demon snarled, 'he is mine, body and soul.'

S—D

Dean felt himself starting to waiver but he had to keep going for all of their sakes, finally he got back to the impala and grabbed the last of the necessary items for the ritual and then headed back to Sam.

Skidding to a stop Dean felt his heart drop when he heard the raised voices coming from the cabin he had left Sam in; for the first time since this nightmare had begun he heard the actual voice of the Gorathic Moth. The other voice was all too familiar even in another meatsuit the demon was easily recognisable.

Silently Dean put his load down onto the floor and pulled out his sawn-off shotgun filled with rock salt bullets, taking a deep breath he eased the door open and scoped out the room before storming in there. The moth and demon were arguing directly in front of him and Sam was slowly crawling away from them. Taking a deep, calming breath Dean slipped into the room and moved into his shooting stance.

'Well, well looks like we've got a lover's quarrel going on … anything I can do guys?' Dean's voice cut through the room effectively silencing the two entities and making Sam stop his slow progress as he listened to that oh-so familiar voice. 'So is it private or can anyone join in?'

'You have made your greatest error Winchester,' the demon crowed as it raised its hand to fling Dean away when a loud shot sounded and it stared in horror at its chest and then at Dean.

'You shot me!' It snarled as the body started to crumple and the oily and inky-black smoke escaped from the man's mouth.

Dean turned to the Gorathic Moth another loaded gun already pointed at the creature and he finally got to see it in the "flesh" so to speak. Standing about the same height as Sam, with large thick wings, that looked just like a moths except that they were made of a dirty cream coloured hide with two large black circles on the bottom section of each one. They were torn along the edges and were covered in fine hairs. Aside from the wings and antennae the moth was a man. 'Dude you are truly one of the fugliest things I have ever seen!' Dean said as he took aim and hit the moth-man in the chest with rock salt rounds.

'You will not have my Tribute … Protector,' the moth spat the words out as the salt impacted on its skin. Suddenly it screeched in agony as the salt started to burn, large smouldering sores appeared with smoke drifting up from them.

As Dean raised his rifle to shoot again the moth screeched and took flight, disappearing from view. Taking the brief respite as a tiny victory Dean shook off his rising shock and hurried over to where Sam crouched.

'Sammy, you okay dude?' He asked as he dropped to his knees in front of his little brother.

'D-Dean?' Sam whispered as he reached out blindly flailing with his hand to find out if Dean was real or just another dream.

Dean caught Sam's hand and placed it against his chest, 'I'm right here bro.'

'The moth it wanted to feed again and then the demon came … what happened?' Sam asked as he slowly lowered himself into a seated position against the wall.

Dean's mouth opened and closed, suddenly Sam was completely lucid again, even more so than earlier, the extremes in demeanour confused Dean to no end. 'How you feeling Sam?'

'M'fine Dean … are you alright?' Sam snapped angrily, deflecting Dean's worry back onto himself.

'Dude where did that 'ttude come from?'

'Dunno what you mean … I just wanted to know how you are.'

'I'm fine Sam, you're the one…'

'I am so sick and tired of being _the one_!' Sam spat out as he pushed himself away from Dean's support and tried to climb to his feet.

'Sam?'

'Just … let me be.' Sam turned his face towards Dean, squinting heavily he could just see his brother's face without features, 'I am not helpless.'

'Sam up until a few hours ago you were in a catatonic state and then you were barely functioning excuse me if I'm worried about you …'

'Yeah well don't!' Sam rubbed his temples as the pain intensified suddenly, 'gah!' Swaying dizzily he reached out for his brother the rage gone as quickly as it came, 'Dean help me?'

'Sammy?' Dean caught his brother just as his knees buckled and he started to topple over, 'whoa careful don't want ya to add face-planting the floor to your list of embarrassing moments.'

'Hurts Dean …' Sam whispered in his ear, 'calling me … wants me…'

'Try and ignore him Sam, just like you did before,' Dean coached him as he managed to get him into a semi-reclined position against the wall. Leaving Sam for a second he grabbed the old pillows and Sam's sleeping bag from the mattress. Gently he eased the pillow behind Sam's head and covered him with the warm sleeping bag. 'Better?'

'Hurts De…' Sam whispered but gave a small nod in agreement.

'I know buddy but I can't give ya anything for it just yet,' Dean cupped his hand at the back of Sam's neck and squeezed gently, 'I'm right here for ya Sammy, we're gonna gank this mother, get the others back and then we're going on vacation. Yep we're heading to the coast, sun, sea and surf and lots of beach babes.' Dean rambled on as he tried to get Sam as comfortable as possible before he prepared the ingredients for the ritual and the recipe for the spray to use on the moth. 'Super-charged bug spray,' Dean smirked. He filled the super soaker with the vile smelling concoction. 'How you doing there Sammy?'

'Feeding time at the zoo…bug spray … shoot me!' Sam mumbled as he started to regress, his moments of lucidity gone as fast as they came.

'I'm gonna get ya back Sammy, if it's the last thing I do.' Dean promised, he filled two plastic bottles with the last of the concoction, reloaded the sawn-off shotguns with rock salt and checked the ammo in his glock and Sam's Taurus. 'So looks like we're ready to go in guns blazing, you with me Sam?'

Sam blinked and slowly lifted his head, 'gank monsters … feed zoo … yeah m'ready.' Sam reached out to the Dean he could see. Sadly Dean leant over and took Sam's hand slowly helping him to stand up. With all of his weapons slung over one shoulder Dean pulled Sam close until his brother was snug against his side.

'Just stay with me Sam one foot in front of the other, I won't let ya fall.' He said as they finally moved out.

S—D

The Gorathic moth dropped the corpse of its latest victim, what remained crumpled, without any fluid at all in the remains it quickly turned to dust and seemingly imploded on itself. 'Still hungry!' It roared as it moved to the next human, not caring if he was possessed or not, none of them sated his hunger like his Tribute.

'That is just so gross,' Caleb sniped as he spat out a large clot of blood, he had long ago lost all feeling in his extremities, the only sensations he felt now was the pain of the most recently inflicted wounds. Long but shallow slashes down his torso, from his ribs to his hips and down his stomach to his navel. His flesh also bore numerous bruises, burns and cuts from the torture inflicted by the demon's men and the acolytes of the moth-man.

With the torture finally done, they had tied him to a crucifix and erected it at the top end of the altar, where he could see everything as it happened and as he slowly died.

In the centre of the clearing was the stone altar, already prepared with the sigils of the Gorathic Moth, and painted with fresh blood the moth's followers were just finishing it off by attaching the shackles to each end and placing the ornate bowls at the end of each blood tunnel. Mists descended over the area as the full moon started to rise in the night sky, soon it would be ready for the sacrifice of the Tribute.

The demon, now inhabiting another meatsuit after fleeing from the one it was wearing when it got shot by the Protector stood on the dais watching the preparations with a bored and a detached air. Its men were waiting for the order and then they were going to kill all of the moth's followers before destroying that pathetic excuse for an insect once and for all. Giving it complete control of Sam Winchester, especially after witnessing the deaths of his friends and of his brother, the demon will have complete and utter control of the human.

S—D

With painstaking slowness, Dean managed to juggle all of his weapons, the super-soaker and his semi-conscious brother down into the cover of the trees, he could hear the chanting coming from the clearing just ahead of them and his stomach started to churn once again. There was no sign of Bobby anywhere but Dean had caught a glimpse of what they did to Caleb and for that alone his retribution would be lethal.

S—D

'Okay Sammy you with me dude?' Dean asked after he had set up everything and had done another quick recon of the sacrificial area.

'Dean?' Sam whispered and squinted at the faceless person hovering in front of his face. 'De?'

'Yeah dude I need you to concentrate okay?' Dean said and pressed the Taurus into Sam's hand, 'here's your gun Sammy … it's loaded so don't go shooting yourself or me with it by accident okay?'

'Owkay Dean.' Sam nodded stiffly, 'feeding time … call me … gotta … no help Dean.'

Dean forced himself to ignore Sam's disjointed rambling, consoling himself with the fact that once they kill the moth Sam should be alright once again. The one unaccounted for variable in all of this was Bobby. Dean fervently wished that he had some sort of idea where the man was and what condition he was in.

'I need you to listen carefully Sam,' Dean cupped his hands around Sam's face and made him still his movements and to listen, 'I'm gonna go and get Caleb back, I need you to stay here and wait for me. You've got your gun and I want you to shoot anyone who comes close … well anyone except for me.'

'But … but Dean…'

'I'll let ya know when I'm back, don't care if you don't kill em but shoot em … trust yourself and shoot true.'

'Dunno no more Dean.'

'You can do this man I trust you and I believe in you.' Dean said as he briefly leant in to touch foreheads with his baby brother, 'love you bro.' he added in a whisper before letting go of Sam and moving off into the shadows of the forest.

S—D

Dean moved with the stealth and grace of a predator, muscles rippled, tight and controlled as he became the Hunter. Determined, with a sole purpose in his mind he had blocked everything and everyone else out. He moved with precision and each step and movement was calculated and deliberate.

He struck out at the closest guards and followers first; his attack over in seconds was as lethal as any large cat in the jungle. Each body was lowered to the ground as the predator continued forward. There was no remorse in his dark green eyes, no guilt, only a murderous glint for those who attempted to destroy his family, his pack.

'Where is the Tribute?' the Gorathic moth demanded as it stood waiting for the ceremony to be over with, he needed to feed and he needed to feed from his special Tribute.

Two shrouded acolytes dragged a semi-unconscious Sam between them and dropped him effortlessly onto a wooden stretcher.

Dean watched from his vantage point and bit his lip from crying out when he saw that they had Sam once again; as blood trickled from his lower lip where he pierced it with his tooth Dean forced himself to retreat behind the hunter's façade and prepared to recite the prayer to start the ritual still working on the act of surprise to get him through this.

S—D

The hands grabbed at Sam as soon as Dean had left, they were lying in wait until the young Tribute was alone and then they moved. The dart to the back of his neck paralysed him immediately, aware of his surroundings and what was happening Sam couldn't move, speak or do anything except lie there in a frozen body and pray for Dean to succeed.

When they dropped him onto the stretcher he felt the wind get knocked from his lungs and had no way to take in another breath as the drugs still held him prisoner. One of the acolytes quickly removed all of Sam's clothes and pulled a shapeless robe over his head and down his body, it was red in colour but in the moonlight and under the starless sky it looked black. His arms were passed through to slits in the cloth and then laid by his sides, another one of the priests helped with pulling the robe down Sam's body once that was done they moved back towards his head, and while one filled his lungs with oxygen the other opened the long slash in the front of the robe exposing his chest and stomach area. Where intricate designs were painted in ink made of his own blood and venom from the Gorathic moth itself.

Once finished six of the robed priests surrounded Sam and lifted the stretcher onto their shoulders ready to start the ceremony. The air suddenly became thick with smoke and the bitter scent of incenses. Flamed torches flickered to life illuminating their way to the altar, the yellow and red flames seemingly danced in time to the chants.

Dean forced himself not to watch the macabre procession as he moved closer to his target, he had no wish to see his brother trussed up like a thanksgiving turkey and served on a platter to a monster.

When they reached the altar the stretcher was lowered enough for them to transfer Sam over to the rock. Then the priests placed the cuffs around his wrists and ankles effectively chaining him in place. All Sam could make out was the flickering of the torches and the shapes of the priests handling him; perhaps it was for the best for him not to see, as he prayed for immediate release from the world that seems to hate him so much.

S—D

When he was in place Dean took a deep breath, cast a quick glance at his brother and blanched sickly at the sight. Without another thought he forced himself to concentrate on what he was doing and to put the image of his sacrificial brother out of his mind.

'Hey Moth-Dude over here! Why don't ya pick on someone who can fight back?' Dean yelled as loudly as he could, the immediate silence following was physically palpable. Before anyone could react Dean had the super-soaker pumped, primed and aimed at the creature directly in front of him. As the liquid sprayed out he started to chant the last part of the ritual, the concoction hit the moth squarely on the chest, connecting with the burns from the salt rounds and acted like acid on impact. The creature screeched and the air was filled with the foul stench of burning, flesh and hair mixed with the foul-smelling liquids.

'No!' The priests screeched when they saw their God flailing and screaming as it tried to extinguish itself. Dean managed to get another dose sprayed over the moth before he was over powered but it was enough. The creature's wings started to crackle popping with fats and juices as it slowly became engulfed in flames. Sparks flew into the air as the wings started to pop and sizzle before the entire being exploded into a shower of sparks, body parts and internal organs.

In the ensuing confusion, Dean managed to fight his way to the altar where his brother lay so still, just as he was about to uncuff Sam's wrist a hand shot out and grabbed Dean's pulling him off balance in the process.

'What the fu…?' He spluttered as he managed to right himself, 'Bobby?'

'Tribute must … no argh…Tribute must …' Bobby staggered and dropped Dean's wrist when the pain spiked in his head again, two tiny grub like creatures slid from his ears and then another one slipped out of his nose.

'Eww that is just plain gross Bobby,' Dean said as he caught the now unconscious hunter and lowered him to the ground.

The three slug-like things immediately curled up into dried husks when they fell to the ground smeared in blood and mucous, for good measure and just because he could Dean stepped on them and ground them into the dirt with the heel of his boot.

Carefully and tenderly he released Sam's wrists and ankles from the shackles, quickly checked his brother's pulse and breathes and then ran over to the cross where Caleb still hung.

'Hang on Dude I'm coming!' He yelled out to his friend, the irony of his words wasn't lost on him as he frantically searched for a way to reach Caleb. Finally he grabbed the stretcher they had carried Sam on and placed it against the wooden cross. Swiftly climbing up Dean just managed to reach Caleb's right wrist and started to saw through the ropes binding him to the crossbeam. In what seemed like hours to Dean, but in reality was scant minutes he had managed to cut Caleb free but before he could get down and around to the front to catch his friend; Caleb started to fall face first.

Swearing under his breath Dean jumped the last bit, landed awkwardly on his already aching ankles and hurried around only to find Caleb landing safely in Bobby's arms.

S—D

Panting heavily from their exertions Bobby and Dean stood side-by-side as they surveyed the area. Caleb and Sam were lying next to each other on stretchers and covered with blankets; the dead had already been salted and burnt, along with the cross and the shackles and everything else they could find that was tainted, including the robe they had dressed Sam in. Bobby had purified the rock altar and washed it clean of Sam's blood and finally they scattered rock salt over the entire clearing just for good measure.

'The demon!' Dean said, 'did you get the demon Bobby?'

'No, once I came too it was just about all done only had a few left and it wasn't there.'

'Fuck that means it got away!' Dean growled his rage starting to reignite.

'Worry bout that later Dean, we've gotta git these two back and treated,' Bobby said as he looked down at Sam and Caleb, 'Dean I am so sorry … what I did and tried to do…'

'Hey Bobby no, hell no don't you dare try to take blame for any of this … you were a victim just like the rest of us.'

'But I was the one who … hell I wanted to kill Sam…'

'And how many times have you been on the receiving end for us?' Dean asked as he looked up at his surrogate uncle/father/friend, 'nothing to apologise for.'

TBC

'S—D


	10. Chapter 10

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

**Author's Note 1:** **Warning! **This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

S—D

What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?

**Chapter Ten: What Goes Around Once…**

_So has the dream finished or has it just started?_

**Then:**

_Panting heavily from their exertions Bobby and Dean stood side-by-side as they surveyed the area. Caleb and Sam were lying next to each other on stretchers and covered with blankets; the dead had already been salted and burnt, along with the cross and the shackles and everything else they could find that was tainted, including the robe they had dressed Sam in. Bobby had purified the rock altar and washed it clean of Sam's blood and finally they scattered rock salt over the entire clearing just for good measure._

_'The demon!' Dean said, 'did you get the demon Bobby?'_

_'No, once I came too it was just about all done only had a few left and it wasn't there.'_

_'Fuck that means it got away!' Dean growled his rage starting to reignite._

_'Worry bout that later Dean, we've gotta git these two back and treated,' Bobby said as he looked down at Sam and Caleb, 'Dean I am so sorry … what I did and tried to do…'_

_'Hey Bobby no, hell no don't you dare try to take blame for any of this … you were a victim just like the rest of us.'_

_'But I was the one who … hell I wanted to kill Sam…'_

_'And how many times have you been on the receiving end for us?' Dean asked as he looked up at his surrogate uncle/father/friend, 'nothing to apologise for.'_

**Now:**

'So we have one major problem now.' Bobby said deciding to finish the embarrassing portion of their conversation. 'How are we gonna git both of them to the car? They're both on stretchers.'

'Can you stay with them?' Dean asked glancing over at Bobby and noticing the lines of fatigue and pain etched around the older man's eyes. 'I'll go and get the impala but only if you're up to…?'

'Git going now afore I swat your ass,' Bobby grumbled good-naturedly as he squatted down between the stretchers to keep an eye over the two ailing members of his family. After everything that he had done, being possessed be damned, this was the least he could do.

Dean watched for a second longer before taking off as fast as he could towards the impala, ever watchful for the missing demon he carried his salt-loaded shotgun in hand and had his Glock tucked safely in his jeans waistband.

S—D

'Bob-Bobby?' Caleb whispered and then ran the tip of his tongue over his dried and cracked lips, 'that really you man?'

'Yeah it's me idjit.' Bobby said, 'Dean's gone for the car … you can have a drink as soon as he gets back.'

'What happened to ya dude?' Caleb asked desperate to stay conscious he focused on his friend's face and listened intently on that gruff and gravelly voice he knew so well.

'That thing, that moth as far as I can tell, git's to ya innards with a stinging bite to begin with and … well through that bite it lays eggs,' Bobby choked over his words as he slowly put the jigsaw pieces of his memory back together, 'I could feel em when they hatched wiggling around in here and aint nothing I could do about it. Bit by bit they controlled everything jist like a possession 'cepting that they are alive and living in ya head.' He could still feel the critters digging in and the excruciating pain associated with them. 'A lot of what happened after that is blurry and jumbled, I can remember a lot of what I did but had no control, and that rage was unbelievable … When they popped out I thought I was gonna puke … they – they use the human host like a cocoon.' Bobby stopped and cleared his throat; _a nice single malt whiskey would go down right about now _the only thought he could muster without wanting to throw up.

'Damn me Singer you really know how to do it properly don'tcha.' Caleb said and grunted out a pained sounding chuckle. 'Whatcha gonna do for an encore?'

'Funny … not Reeves,' Bobby groused as he straightened slightly and stared around them, it was too quiet and Dean was taking too long in getting back to them, 'how are ya feeling Caleb can ya git up?'

'Yeah think so … why?'

'Probably nuthin' but … I need some help with Sam.' Bobby said as he helped Caleb up and held him steady until he got his balance back.

Moving stiffly and slowly the two hunters managed to prop Sam between them opting to leave the cumbersome stretcher behind. The much bigger and heavier youngest member of the trio was like a dead weight for the two hunters; Sam was still suffering from the effects of the paralysing drugs and attacks from the Gorathic moth making it difficult for them to travel any distance safely. Bobby guided them into a more secluded spot just north of the clearing where there was thick brush and tree canopies to give them cover.

Settling Sam against a tree with a semi-conscious Caleb next to him, Bobby glanced down at them for a moment before moving to an outlook to keep an eye out for Dean and the impala as well as any signs of danger.

'Where are ya Dean?' he mumbled to himself as he glanced over at the two injured and ailing hunters and then back to his self-imposed sentinel duty.

S—D

'Ah baby it's good to see you.' Dean breathed out when he had finally reached the impala. The only home, confidant and trusted "female" in his life; Sam was his brother and best friend but the impala was something else, something different and his.

He stopped just short of his car and scanned the area carefully, the fine hairs on the back of his neck stood up as his 'monster-radar' kicked up a notch. Thumbing the safety off his Glock he turned slowly his eyes trained on the trees around him. The air was still and stifling, not even a breath of breeze ruffled the tallest of the leafy branches. With measured steps Dean moved closer to the impala when the stench of sulphur assaulted his senses without missing a step or a breath he turned, drew his Glock aimed and fired in one smooth action. The demon hissed with the impact and then laughed as he strode towards the irritating hunter.

Dean shrugged smiled and whipped the shotgun up with the salt rounds and fired hitting the demonically possessed man in the chest, pumping the gun again he took aim and shot again hitting him this time in the stomach. Standing over the downed demon, Dean recited an exorcism and watched with detached interest as the smoke burst out of the dead man's mouth and shot into the sky.

Staggering slightly Dean started towards the impala, when a wave of dizziness passed through him making him slouch against the hood of the car, a warm wet sensation had him glancing down at his left side; a dark red stain steadily spread across his shirt and a sharp pain finally registered in his overtaxed and exhausted mind. 'What the fuck?' With a shaking hand he lifted his T-shirt up and found a small but seemingly deep stab wound, 'what the hell?'

'Hell it is Dean.' A malicious sounding voice came from behind him, turning in what felt like a bad slow motion movement from an equally bad "B" grade movie Dean stared into a pair of yellow eyes before the elusive demon clicked his fingers and vanished as quickly as he arrived, leaving Dean alone and bleeding next to his beloved car.

'Damn you, you bastard come back here and fight.' Dean hissed as he struggled to get to the driver's side door, he had to get back to Sam.

S—D

The sound of a powerful engine, the blaring of a horn and then the cracking of a tree after an impact brought Bobby out of his stupor and running back to the clearing. He cursed his stiff knees and stilted gait with every step until he reached the driver's side of the now still car; wrenching the door open he bent down and reached in to check the driver who was slumped over the steering wheel.

'Dean boy you had better be foxin' me.' He growled as he checked for a pulse, 'what the hell happened?'

'Hell did,' came a very muffled and faint reply, 'Sammy where's Sammy?'

'Ya great idjit, here ya are injured and hugging yer steering wheel and all ya want to know is where's Sammy,' Bobby shook his head, 'he's with Caleb just behind the brush over there.'

'Can … can ya get them so we can get outta here,' Dean asked as he tried to focus on the three Bobby Singers in front of him, 'fuck which one are ya?'

'The real one idjit,' Bobby said as he gradually eased himself into a standing position, 'now don't go anywhere alright,'

'Bobby it was … it was the yellow eyed demon.' Dean said as his eyes started to droop, 'where's Sammy?'

'This is another fine mess yer've got us in … idjit.' Bobby muttered and went to find Sam and Caleb, he would be a lot happier when they were away from the cursed area.

S—D

Caleb sat up and stared around in fright something brought him out of his light sleep and confused him even more and then he heard it again. A soft mewling sound came from beside him; rubbing at his tacky eyes Caleb turned a little more to get a good look at Sam who was lying next to him and propped up against the same tree.

'Sam? Dude what is it?'

'Make it stop, please Caleb make it stop,' Sam wept, rolling his head awkwardly he tried to focus on the faceless shape in front of him, 'Caleb?'

'Yeah it's me Dude,' Caleb said and took hold of Sam's flailing hand, giving him an anchor to keep hold of, 'Bobby and Dean will be right here so you just hang in there okay.'

'Kay … Cal you okay?' Sam asked as flashes of his vision flared in his memory.

'I'm … okay Sam,' Caleb said as he bit back a pain filled groan, 'hang on I think I can hear someone coming.'

S—D

Exhausted after helping both Sam and Caleb separately to the car all Bobby wanted to do was to drown his sorrow, guilt and pain in a bottle of his best firewater. He finally edged Sam into the back of the impala helping him fold his long legs into the small space behind the bench seat. Next to him he managed to get Caleb in mindful of his injuries from being tied to the cross and then finally Bobby was able to slide in behind the wheel after shuffling Dean across the bench seat to the passenger's side. 'Alright kids I don't want to hear a word until we get home.' He said to his unconscious companions.

S—D

A wild storm whipped around the house in Singer's Salvage Yard, rain hard unyielding and relentless beat against the windows and the roof. Wind howled and kicked up dust and rubble before the rain doused it back into submission. Across the inky black sky silver bolts of fork lightening struck repeatedly against the earth as the thunder roared in a crazed electrical dance across the heavens.

In the house four hunters were all recuperating from their most recent injuries and were all in various states of mind as well as states of healing. Most of Bobby's stash of firewater whiskey had been depleted along with various medications and first aid supplies. The frailest of the four was ensconced in the living room on a bed Bobby and Caleb dragged in for him, watched over by an older brother who slept in an overstuffed lounge chair next to him.

Dean's stab wound took ten stitches and a full tube of antiseptic cream, the stab wound he had no memory of receiving it and when. Caleb's most visible injuries had healed slowly but still healed although there was a quietness about him now, that was unnerving and worrying at the same time. He refused to talk about his ordeal, aside from a little of his time in the cage and the fragments he could remember of his torture sessions but the crucifixion was off limits to everyone, including Sam.

The storm upset Sam more than he would admit to anyone especially Dean. With his still diminished eyesight the lightning bolts filled his sight with painful blasts of light, the wind and thunder aggravated his headaches, but above all they brought back childhood terrors.

Squinting he looked around the living room and realised that he was finally on his own, moving stiffly and carefully he trailed his hand along the wall as he made his way downstairs to the basement. In the cool and the dark the oppressiveness of the storm lifted and Sam felt a little better finally. Taking one step at a time Sam limped down the stairs and felt his way to a corner that had given him solace so many times when he was a small child hiding from the arguments and roughness of the men who came to Bobby's place on a regular basis. He had no idea who they were but they were loud, rough and loved to argue over who was the toughest or who had bagged the biggest … biggest what he didn't understand but it sounded scary.

Then Dean started to want to hang around them and to listen to their stories rather than play with Sam all of the time, so the small boy found the biggest book he could carry and take it down to that special corner of the basement to read.

This time though he couldn't read he couldn't curl up and hide all he could do was to sit and lose himself in his morose thoughts and his burgeoning depression. Sliding down the wall until he was sitting plumb against it, Sam pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his long arms around them cradling his head on them.

'How can I do this?' he said his own voice sounding hollow in the stillness of the room, 'how can I be a blind hunter?' Sighing heavily Sam lifted his head and rested it against the cool wall, 'and a cripple as well.'

_'Use your powers Sam, give into them and you will never have to worry.' _The voice slipped into his thoughts like an oil slick leaving a black stain of fear, guilt and pain in its wake.

'Leave me alone,' Sam squeezed his eyes shut and banged his head against the wall, 'get outta my head.'

_'I will as soon as you embrace your future.'_

'No, never that is something I will never do, I am not a freak.' Sam cried out as he once again bashed his head against the wall, the spiking pain giving him some relief from the constant nagging only he could hear. Tears slid down his cheeks as his depression and headache blossomed at the same time. 'M'not a freak, not a freak.' He started to repeat in time with the banging of his head. He ignored the warm wetness trickling down his neck as the pain and blackness finally silenced the voice, or rather drowned it out.

'Sam? Sammy what the hell?' Dean exclaimed when he found his errant brother.

He had come back to the living room armed with videos, hot chocolate and popcorn to find it empty, devoid of one Sam Winchester. After checking the bathroom, quizzing Bobby and Caleb in the study and the kitchen Dean remembered a certain hiding spot a very young Sam had in the basement.

His relief at finding Sam swiftly morphed into anger and worry when he found him, 'what the hell do you think you're doing?' Dean's voice echoed in the quietness of the basement and seemed to berate the both of them with the tone of his voice as he crouched down next to Sam and grabbed him by the shoulders.

'Huh? De-Dean?' Sam blinked away his tears as he tried desperately to see his brother's eyes or at least his face. 'Dean?'

'Don't Dean me what do you think you are doing?' Dean yelled his anger taking a firm hold overriding his worry for his still ailing brother.

'Make it stop please Dean make it stop,' Sam pleaded with his brother, although he was unsure about what anymore. 'Don't wanna be … don't wanna hear …'

'Damn it Sam snap out of it,' Dean yelled again, refusing to acknowledge Sam's confusion or his flinching at the tone and anger in Dean's voice.

'Get it out, get out … no more!' Sam wept as he started to bang his head again, convinced it was the only way to silence the nagging again.

_'Give in Sam, don't listen to your brother he doesn't understand. You're special Sam you're my special child, my Chosen child.'_ The voice laughed and mocked him.

Roughly Dean grabbed Sam by the shoulders and shook him, his temper getting the better of him blinded him to the needs of his brother as he shook him again, 'snap out of it Sam now!'

Sam took in a shaky shallow breath and slumped lifelessly against his brother, his long legs now splayed out in front of him and a bloody smear was left on the wall behind him. Dean immediately forgot his anger when he felt Sam collapse against him, 'Sam? Sammy?' He cried out in fear and concern this time, 'oh God Sammy don't do this not now.'

'Dean?' Sam muttered his brother's name unaware of anything or anyone, when he felt something in his mind snap just as his body stiffened and his muscles started to jerk and spasm uncontrollably.

'Sam? Sammy?' Dean eased Sam onto the floor as the convulsions suddenly became stronger and more violent. 'Bobby! Caleb get down here I need you.' Dean yelled as loud as he could, leaving his brother was not an option not now, instead he continued to yell until he heard the thudding of their feet on the stairs. 'Oh God what have I done?'

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

**Disclaimer:** I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

**Author's Note 1:Warning! **This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

**Author's Note 2: **This chapter is dedicated to supernaturalrenegade, thanks for your continued words of support and enjoyment of this story. See if you can find yourself in the chapter hon! ;0)

What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?

S—D

**Chapter 11: The games the mind plays**

_When does a dream become a waking nightmare?_

**Then:**

_Roughly Dean grabbed Sam by the shoulders and shook him, his temper getting the better of him blinded him to the needs of his brother as he shook him again, 'snap out of it Sam now!'_

_Sam took in a shaky shallow breath and slumped lifelessly against his brother, his long legs now splayed out in front of him and a bloody smear was left on the wall behind him. Dean immediately forgot his anger when he felt Sam collapse against him, 'Sam? Sammy?' He cried out in fear and concern this time, 'oh God Sammy don't do this not now.'_

_'Dean?' Sam muttered his brother's name unaware of anything or anyone, when he felt something in his mind snap just as his body stiffened and his muscles started to jerk and spasm uncontrollably. _

_'Sam? Sammy?' Dean eased Sam onto the floor as the convulsions suddenly became stronger and more violent. 'Bobby! Caleb get down here I need you.' Dean yelled as loud as he could, leaving his brother was not an option not now, instead he continued to yell until he heard the thudding of their feet on the stairs. 'Oh God what have I done?'_

**Now:**

The Sioux Falls Community Hospital had become a temporary home very quickly for Dean Winchester. For the first five days the staff tried to send him home each night once visiting times had finished but they had to eventually concede defeat and he was allowed to come and go as he pleased. The nurses had even set up a small stretcher bed, normally used for the parents of sick children, in Sam's intensive care unit so he could stay with his brother. Although for once he didn't have to resort to his normally charming and flirtatious personality to sweet-talk the nurses into letting him stay; instead it was his sheer stubbornness and the fact that he was Sam's only living blood relative and for now their patient's needs overrode any hospital protocol.

'Hey Marian how's it going today?' Dean greeted the day shift nurse as she started her rounds, 'ya looking especially lovely today.'

'It's good to see you too Dean, you sweet thing you, so how's this gorgeous brother of yours doing this morning?'

'Doing good aint ya Sammy.' Dean said as he took Sam's hand and squeezed it gently, in response Sam's eyes tracked sluggishly towards the sound of his brother's voice and finally fixed on the familiar face.

'Well done Sam.' Marian praised as she watched her young patient, 'you're doing great.'

Sam managed a slight blush at the praise but his eyes never left his brother's face.

It was now three weeks since Sam had been rushed to hospital in an ambulance after suffering a series of convulsions, the cover story Bobby had given them was simple enough to remember but close enough to fact and detailed to sound perfectly logical. He had suffered a head injury in a fire that had claimed the life of his girlfriend a few months ago, he was still suffering from the effects of his injuries when he had a fall and triggered the convulsions. Pressure on his optic nerves from swelling in and around his brain caused the partial blindness and even though his sight had improved slowly it was never going to be perfect again.

The neurosurgeon and doctors all agreed that Sam's brain damage was permanent and it was only a matter of time to find out the degree of impairment. For now, he had awareness of his surroundings and people familiar to him, especially his brother and adopted uncle. He was able to move his right hand and leg slightly after a lot of encouragement from his therapists and Dean. But other than that for the most part Sam seemed unresponsive to the point of catatonia and had become very childlike in his mannerisms and temperament.

He stubbornly refused for anyone to feed him except Dean by clamping his jaw shut and turning his head away, his bathroom habits were also a point of contention between the once proud and independent young man and his nurses until Dean once again took over that detail as well.

Only Bobby and Dean knew the truth and were able to at least talk to each other about Sam's true condition and how to help him. One thing that they did know for sure and that is Sam was not going to be in the hospital for much longer, especially now they had the convulsions under control with medications. They were both better equipped and understood Sam more than anyone else all they had to do was to convince the doctors to discharge the youngest Winchester.

'So Sam do ya want the sexy Marian to give ya a bed bath?' Dean quipped and gave the blushing nurse a cheeky wink and grin.

A soft breathy huff was the only answer Sam gave along with his modified bitch face. 'Not gonna work Sammy you've gotta try a little harder.' Dean coached leaning down closer to Sam's face, 'try a little harder Sammy please.'

Sam frowned and openly glared at his brother but still tried three times to form the words and to get his voice working, 'n-no D-De.' He finally stammered the effort clearly defined on his face.

'Way to go Sammy!' Dean cheered his grin widening with pride for his brother and the first words he has spoken after the convulsions. 'Wanna try it again a little more this time?'

Sam frowned at Dean but there was no heat from anger building behind it. 'S-s-s-sorry M-Mar-Mari…'

'Nothing to be sorry for Sam,' Marian said smiling down at the young man who was fast stealing her heart, if only she was a little younger and not married. 'How about I go and find out where your breakfast is and Dean can help in the bathroom?'

'Th-thanks,' Sam said though his words were barely audible he was getting so tired after the effort it took in getting those few stuttered words out.

Dean watched Marian leave before he turned back to his brother, 'hey Sammy we've gotta talk before we get ya going.'

'Wh-wha?'

'How do ya feel about coming home to Bobby's?'

'T-true?' Sam said but his voice was fading as fast as his energy levels.

'No more talking for you just now kiddo,' Dean said when he noticed how pale and tired his brother was looking, 'come on let's get ya showered and shaved.'

'kay…' Sam grimaced and a tear of frustration started to fall, unable to focus on his brother's face he tried to roll his head away from Dean's stare but was stopped by a tenderly placed finger on his chin.

'Sammy, Sam look at me hey you're doing fine it's just going to take time to get back to your old self and that's gonna happen I promise you.' Dean said as he slid his hand behind Sam's neck and cupped it in a gentle and brotherly embrace. 'Ready to get up?'

Sam barely moved his head but for Dean it was enough, moving around the bed he gathered the toiletries and towels taking them to the bathroom before returning for his brother, after pulling the blankets back Dean took a quick look at his brother's seemingly frail frame. It was such a short time ago that Sam was tall, healthy, and vibrant. Argumentative, independent and fiercely loyal Sam was now a shell of his former self and all because of a demon and a freaking moth man. 'We need to get some junk food into ya kiddo, you need fattening up a bit.'

Sam screwed his nose up and gave his brother a sour look as he lifted a shaking hand off the bed and up to meet Dean's hand. With a smug but loving smile Dean took Sam's hand and helped him into a seated position before gently taking Sam's paralysed arm and looping it around his own neck, 'okay Sammy on three … one … two … three.' Dean slowly stood keeping Sam tucked close to his side once they were upright he waited for his brother to regain his equilibrium before they made their way to the bathroom, even though it was just a few feet away their progress was slow but steady.

A lifetime of looking after his brother gave Dean an unusual perspective on life and family and right at this moment he wouldn't have it any other way. Sure Sam was currently a shadow of his former self but he was alive and functioning and for that Dean would be forever grateful. Functioning and alive he can work with, dead and buried is not and will never be an option.

After the shower and shave, Dean helped Sam into fresh clothes and then gave him a modicum amount of privacy on the toilet while he packed up the used toiletries and damp towels; a tired grunt was all he needed as a signal that Sam was ready to return to the comfort of his bed.

When they left the small ensuite Dean paused for a second when he saw the made up bed and the tray laden with Sam's breakfast on the side table in front of the large leather chair next to the bed.

'Looks like you're gonna have breakfast upright Sammy,' Dean said as he tried to gauge Sam's passive reactions, 'whatcha think?'

Sam blinked lethargically and tried to work out what Dean was saying, the buzzing and fog was back in his mind drowning out the words. Swaying dizzily he tried to clutch Dean's shirt with his good hand and steady himself.

'Bed it is,' Dean said leading his brother directly to the made up bed, 'they don't know nothing here do they Sammy?'

'Nhg…' Sam grimaced but when Dean was able to lower him back onto the bed, the grimace faded and a sigh of relief replaced the grunt of pain.

'Tired huh kiddo?' Dean kept the running commentary going as he settled Sam back onto the bed and then wheeled the table across the room, 'I don't blame ya for wantin' breakfast in bed, but lap it up coz once you're feeling better this is gonna stop.'

Lifting the glass of orange juice to Sam's lips he angled the straw so his brother could sip safely but when he tried to get him to swallow some of the very lumpy and grey looking oatmeal he was met with pure Sammy stubbornness and a clamped shut jaw. Chuckling Dean put the bowl down and picked up the piece of now cold toast, 'how about we get some real food for ya? I think it's time for a breakout Winchester style.'

S—D

An hour later Sam slept fitfully on top of his hospital bed, dressed in thick warm sweat pants and three tops layered, finished with an oversized hoodie. Dean stood staring out the window his muscles twitching with the urge to do something, anything rather than sit around the depressive hospital watching over the gimp.

The heat of anger surged through Dean and suddenly he struck out pounding the glass window with his fist in a blur of precision and power. _'Feels good doesn't it, want to taste some more?'_ A voice sounded in his ears but when he spun around there was no one standing there, _'come on boy be a man, take the power and wield it. Perhaps I chose the wrong brother I should have chosen you instead of your weaker sibling.'_

Dean shook his head trying to dispel the voice and buzzing sounds, glancing over his shoulder he watched Sam for a few seconds to make sure that he was fast asleep, there was no one else in the room with them but he felt closed in; surrounded by nothingness.

'Where are ya Bobby?' Dean asked scrubbing at his stubbled cheeks, 'too damned tired for my own good.'

_'You never have to worry about being tired again, just say yes … we can get rid of the gimp and then you can take your place at the head of my army.' _The voice wound its way through Dean's mind and thoughts, filling him with darkness and an intense anger, an anger directed solely at the young man lying in the hospital bed.

'Dean!' Bobby tried once more to break through Dean's reverie when a fist came straight at him, instinct took over and he managed to dodge the lethal blow. 'Dean Winchester ya great freaking idjit! Yer better have a good reason for that or I'm gonna give ya one of me own.'

'Bobby?' Dean blinked and stared at his adopted uncle, mentor and friend, 'when did you get here?'

'You really back with me idjit?' Bobby frowned and looked up at the ceiling searching for anymore moth men lurking about.

'What the hell are you on about Bobby?' Dean rubbed his forehead, a killer headache decided to take up residence just behind his eyes, 'we're gonna bust Sammy outta here Bobby, he's tired now but…'

'but what kiddo?'

'Sam spoke this morning Bobby, not a lot mainly half words and sounds but he was able to talk.'

'That's great Dean,' Bobby said with a smile, 'that why he's done in now?'

'Yeah that and he had a shower and shave this morning as well,' Dean added proudly but before he could say anything else the door swung open and Marian came in with Sam's neurosurgeon Mister Cullen and his doctor Miles Broderick. 'So what's up docs?' Dean asked his cheeky grin fading fast when he saw the looks on their faces, 'what is it?'

'Sam's latest test results are in Dean,' Miles Broderick spoke first, 'there are definite signs of improvement in his basic motor skills …'

'But?' Bobby stepped up to stand shoulder to shoulder with the younger man in a show of support when a soft whimper silenced all of them.

Dean stepped over to his brother's bed and leant in a little closer, 'hey Sammy you with us?'

'Mm De…Dean.' Sam mumbled sleepily, 'wha happ…'

'Docs are here wanting to talk to us.' Dean said in reply worried at the trouble Sam was having in waking up and comprehending what was going on. Maybe they were expecting too much for him to come home so soon.

'Hi Sam how are you feeling?' Miles asked his patient before glancing over at the still silent surgeon; obviously it was up to him to deliver the final blow to Sam and his family.

'De?' Sam squinted up at Dean his confusion clearly etched across his young face, 'wha'?'

'The Doctors are here to talk to us about your condition Sammy you doing okay dude?'

'Wanna go home De.' Sam whispered unnerved by the strangers in the room, the lady felt familiar and Uncle Bobby was there but he couldn't remember who the other men were and why they were in his room.

'Shh it's okay Sam,' Dean turned his back on the others giving Sam his full attention he cupped his free hand on the nape of Sam's neck and squeezed gently, 'I can talk to em for ya.'

'Don' g-go De.' Sam cried out suddenly and tried to reach for Dean's hand with his paralysed limb, his confusion and fear now soaring towards a full on panic attack. 'Don' go!'

'Not going anywhere Sammy, hey where's all this coming from?' Dean tuned out the hushed whispers coming from behind them and moved a little more completely block their view of Sam. 'Talk to me dude what's going on?'

'S-scare me…' Sam said 'wan' g-go h-home, wan' d-dad an' wan' you.'

'Sam where do … Sam you feeling okay?'

'M'tired De tell em to go way.' Sam said pouting slightly, suddenly he no longer looked like the strapping young twenty-two year old Dean picked up from Stanford, now he was more like a lost twelve year old.

Dean twisted around slightly to look up at the doctors, Marian and finally Bobby silently begging them to give him answers and to help Sam.

'Sam can I have a look at you?' Miles asked as he crossed the floor to stand on the other side of Sam's bed. A derisive snort from the other doctor made both Dean and Miles glare at him.

'I have other patients to see, I'll be back to talk to this patient's family later. You can handle things here can't you Miles?' Mister Cullen asked and then strode out of the room before Miles could answer.

'Nice personality there, as much as a rock,' Dean grumbled and then turned his glare at the last remaining medic, 'you gonna bail on Sam too?'

'Not all at Dean, now let's see what's going on with your brother,' Miles said with what he hoped was a comforting smile; his own anger smouldered deep down inside his gut for the officious and pompous specialist, words were definitely going to be exchanged later, 'Sam do you know who I am?'

'Nope,' Sam replied without looking at the strange man, instead he found a loose thread in his blanket more interesting. Although he couldn't really see it, he was able to twist it around his slender fingers and tug on it gently to see what would happen.

'Dude this is Doc Miles … he's been your doctor while you've been in hospital,' Dean said while he made eye contact with the doctor, '_what the hell_?' he mouthed directing his anger at the medic rather than his ailing brother.

'Wanna g-go home,' Sam whined pitifully, and for the first time since his brother started to talk again Dean found himself wishing for the silence to return, this new Sam was unnerving and very annoying to say the least.

'Yeah we're gonna take ya home as soon as the doc says it's okay but you have to let him have a look at you Sam and to ask questions. Hey Sammy look at me …'

'Where's Dad? Why not here?' Sam asked sniffing loudly, 'wanna go home.'

'Sam can I give you a quick examination so I can help make you feel better?' Miles cut in quickly before overwrought emotions bubbled over with both siblings.

'O-Owkay …' Sam finally acquiesced as he lifted his gaze to the man in the white coat.

Taking the opportunity while he had it, Miles quickly started the physical side of the examination with Marian's help, but when Dean went to move away Sam started to panic and tears started to fall. With a small shrug in apology to the doctor Dean stayed where he was with his brother while the physical exam continued.

'Can you feel me do this Sam?' Miles asked as he ran a needle tip down the sole of Sam's left foot, the lack of response was enough for the doctor as he tried to hide his disappointment and moved onto Sam's right foot. Slowly he made his way around all of the nerve points testing reflexes and pain response all the while keeping one eye focused on Sam's face, he quickly realised it was the easiest and fastest way to find out how his patient was doing. Finally the part of the physical came up that Miles was dreading to do, 'okay Sam I just need to check your surgical site.'

'No!' The emphatic response came immediately as far as Sam was concerned no one was touching his head again not in the near future or ever if he had his way. His head was fine until the nasties got in and then the doctors did their bit; now, now he was suffering from all of the interference.

'Hey Sammy look at me,' Dean ignored the others in the room and focused solely on his brother, 'the faster the doc can check your noggin' out the faster we can take ya home to Bobby's.'

'Home? Back to Bobby's?' Sam turned his liquid filled gaze to where he knew Bobby was standing, 'Uncle Bobby we go back your place?' the words came out a little slurred and softly spoken but were clear enough for Sam's intent to come through.

'Yeah kiddo once the doctor springs ya, yer coming back to my place for a while.' Bobby said and moved closer to stand next to Dean, 'aint getting' rid of me that easy Sam.'

'Aw Uncle Bobby … ow hurts!' Sam tried to pull his head from Marian's gentle but firm grip, 'meanie!'

'Sam!' Dean couldn't help but scold his brother, it was almost as though Sam had slept fine but woken up with the mentality of a petulant eight year old. 'Hold still kiddo and it'll go quicker.'

'Don't l-like dum-dummy docs.' Sam pouted but tried to remain as still as he could while Miles finished up checking the wound for signs of infection and then while he moved around to check Sam's eyes Marian cleaned the surgical site and redressed it.

'Sam can you tell me what you can see clearly?' Miles asked while he shone a small penlight into his patient's left eye.

'Can see ya face doc … an-and De-Dean.' Sam mumbled between the doctor shining lights into his eyes and the nurse … Marian poking and wrapping his head he had had enough and was ready to explode. Just when he was about to yell at them, a burst of light had Sam crying out in pain. It was so bright and intense it felt as though his eyes were going to burst into flames.

'Hur-Hurts De-Dean where's gone?' Sam screamed in pain as another burst of light flared, 'no more … peaze no more.'

Feeling his frustration growing Dean was ready to pull the plug on all of the poking and prodding; all he wanted was answers to his questions and a definitive diagnosis on Sam's condition, when Sam cried out in pain and tried to lift his hands to hold his aching head. Dean's heart felt like it was going to fall into tiny pieces when he heard the plaintive cries and then another heart-wrenching scream come from his little brother, his speech and actions deteriorating faster than anyone could have predicted.

'Marian get me ten milligrams of Diprivan IV push,' Miles ordered as he tried to calm his patient down.

'Back off doc and let me try, you don't have to dope him up.' Dean almost snarled at the doctor before placing himself on the bed and wrapping his arms around Sam; cradling his little brother against his chest he slowly started to rock them and hummed an off-key version of Highway to Hell while he tugged his fingers through Sam's hair.

By the time Marian had returned with the sedative Sam was sleeping fitfully against Dean's shoulder the fingers of his right hand twisted tightly around the hem of his brother's shirt.

'Okay Doc you've got me and Bobby as a captive audience so spill what's going on with my little brother?'

'As you know the neurosurgeon went in and released some of the pressure that was building up at the back of Sam's brain, he has also clipped off a small bleeder. From the history and physical presentation the prognosis is not great.'

'Define not great doc.' Dean growled but backed down just a fraction when he felt Bobby's hand resting heavily on his shoulder, 'sorry so you were saying?'

'The general consensus for Sam's prognosis is … the convulsions are under control and can be controlled even more with medication if needed, the brain damage basically Sam is not going to improve much further than where he is now. In fact the specialists who had reviewed Sam's case are all in agreement on this point, if anything he may deteriorate a little more. Mentally you are looking at the average and temperament of a ten year old, his eyesight will need to be checked on a regular basis and he will have to wear glasses…'

'So the short end of the stick is Doc Sam is going to be a Sasquatch sized ten year old with glasses for the rest of his life. A ten year old prone to convulsions and what else?'

'Dean…' Bobby spoke up he glanced over at his 'nephew' before he looked back at the doctor, 'how about we go and talk things through and let the brothers have some time together Doc? I have a few questions about what to do for Sam to come home.' Bobby steered the doctor and nurse out of the room without them realising just how close they came to the ticking time bomb known as Dean Winchester.

S—D

Bobby stood on his porch, a lone sentry waiting for any signs of the approaching Winchester storm. Finally, he could hear the distant rumble of the impala's powerful motor and he hefted a huge sigh of relief. After another week of tests, therapies and pompous-assed specialists Sam was finally released from hospital.

The only problem was that he had seemingly regressed once again, this time though more introvertly. Sam would only speak to Dean or to Bobby himself and that proved a big enough problem in itself until he started to refuse to interact with anyone else who wanted to help him, most good intentioned actions were met with either a torrent of tears or snarls and growls. By the end of his last week there, Marian was one of the few nurses Sam would let near him; Dean and Bobby were dumbfounded with the differences in Sam now, and they both hoped beyond hope that coming home to familiar surroundings will help snap their youngest family member back to his old self.

S—D

As he drove them back to Bobby's salvage yard, Dean kept taking tiny glances at his brother next to him. Stubborn to the end, Sam refused to acknowledge the specialist or the other nurses when he was leaving. He said goodbye to Marian and to Miles and that was it, no one else mattered to Sam. All he wanted was to get out of the hospital and to go back home; all he wanted was to see his dad again.

Dean sighed and rubbed the nape of his neck again, he was dreading to tell Sam about their dad, the kid was so volatile at the moment there was no telling how he was going to react, a ticking bomb with a very short fuse these days and it worried Dean more than Sam's healing physical problems.

S—D

Bobby waited until Dean had pulled up as close to the front of his house as possible before he started down the steps and walked towards the car. He could see Sam staring around the salvage yard as though he had never seen it before and it broke his heart. When the doctor had explained it all to Bobby, the gruff and tough hunter/salvage yard man almost fell apart what that kid went through at the hands of the Gorathic moth and of that yellow eyed demon was reprehensible and deserved only one punishment: Death or dismemberment or both!

'Hey Sam welcome home,' Bobby said as brightly as he could while he opened the car door and held it while Dean helped Sam out of the passenger seat, with his gangly height and extreme loss of weight he looked like a new born giraffe all long legs and knobbly knees.

'Hey Uncle Bobby,' Sam replied shyly, 'where's dad?'

Sam asked the same question every day like clockwork, he still slurred his words and stuttered over a lot of them but they were understandable and that was the main thing. 'Not here kiddo but you and yer brother are and that I can be happy with.'

'Thanks Uncle Bobby.' Sam gave Bobby an awkward and lopsided hug before he allowed Dean to guide him inside. Dean and Bobby had already decided to set Sam up downstairs closer to the warmth of the fire, the kitchen and more importantly where he could be with them and not left to his own devices while resting.

S—D

A primal scream of pain and terror filled the interior of Bobby's house waking two of the three occupants. Another scream had them reacting faster than they had ever thought possible.

'Sam, Sammy what is it?' Dean asked he was lying in a sleeping bag just a few feet away from Sam's bed to keep an eye on him and Bobby had his upstairs where he could try to get some rest.

'No … No! Moth take … Protector find me please find me!' Sam screamed completely oblivious to Dean and Bobby's presence at his side. With his good arm flailing in front of him, Sam struck out at the danger only he could see.

The giant moth man hovered in the corner above Sam's bed, taunting its victim and relishing in the pure and unadulterated fear radiating from him. Sam could see it but he didn't understand why no one else could see it. 'N-no not real, Dean help me!'

'M'right here Sammy, me and Bobby are right here for ya.'

'Not real?' Sam's chest heaved with a large sob he felt Dean's strong arms surrounding him and finally he was able to relax enough to open his eyes and to squint up at his brother and uncle. 'Dean?'

'Yeah dude?'

'Where's dad?'

TBC

Just a quick end note: If you'd like to feature in future chapters of this story then please send me a review and add a small request in it.

I hope that supernaturalrenagade enjoyed her cameo appearance in this chapter and who knows she might pop up again! hehehehe

please forgive any mistakes with the medical stuff, I tried!

I know not too much happens in this chapter but consider this the eye of the storm!


	12. Chapter 12

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

**Author's Note 1:** **Warning! **This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

_What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?_

**Chapter 12: Which Sam is which and who is Sam?**

_To sleep, and to sleep a chance to dream…_

**Then:**

_'Sam, Sammy what is it?' Dean asked he was lying in a sleeping bag just a few feet away from Sam's bed to keep an eye on him and Bobby had his upstairs where he could try to get some rest._

_'No … No! Moth take … Protector find me please find me!' Sam screamed completely oblivious to Dean and Bobby's presence at his side. With his good arm flailing in front of him, Sam struck out at the danger only he could see._

_The giant moth man hovered in the corner above Sam's bed, taunting its victim and relishing in the pure and unadulterated fear radiating from him. Sam could see it but he didn't understand why no one else could see it. 'N-no not real, Dean help me!'_

_'M'right here Sammy, me and Bobby are right here for ya.'_

_'Not real?' Sam's chest heaved with a large sob he felt Dean's strong arms surrounding him and finally he was able to relax enough to open his eyes and to squint up at his brother and uncle. 'Dean?'_

_'Yeah dude?'_

_'Where's dad?'_

**Now:**

Dean sat in behind Bobby's desk pretending to do some research for one of Bobby's hunter friends but all he could do was to think of that voice he kept hearing and was now mysteriously quiet.

'Just ya nerves idiot.' He muttered to himself and took a long swig of whiskey before topping up his glass with some more; Bobby had seemed to have restocked since the last time the Winchester brothers had stayed with him, funny that.

A soft giggling coming from the other room piqued Dean's curiosity and with whiskey glass in hand he went to investigate what had his brother giggling.

'Hey Sammy what's going on?' he asked waving slightly to gain his brother's attention; he knew that Sam couldn't really see him clearly but the movement would be just enough to catch his eye.

'Hi De-Dean,' Sam smiled shyly and giggled again making Dean smile along with him; it seemed for once that Sam had actually woken up in a good mood for a change.

'So what's got ya laughing kiddo?' Dean asked sitting down next to his brother, the television wasn't on; there was no sign of anyone else in the room and no one on the phone.

'F-funny m-man g-g-g-got m-mad wif m-me,' Sam said pointing to an empty corner of the living room, but then his smile faltered and his large luminous eyes filled with tears darkening their normally bright greenness. 'He – He s-s-says b-bad th-things n-now.'

'Hey calm down kiddo big breath remember what your therapist Debbie said.'

'Umm sl-slow an-and st-st-steady an-and b-b-breath.' Sam said, 'oh yeah an-and th-think f-first.'

'That's it now what funny man are you talking about Sam?' Dean asked eyeing the living room area, he knew for a fact that Bobby had tightened up their 'supernatural' security so there shouldn't be any way possible for anything to get in: anything or anyone.

'The …man … with … yell … yell …yellow eyes.' Sam slowly pushed the words out, deliberately trying to slow down and control his breathing; frustrating but it did work for him.

Dean paled instantly when he heard Sam utter 'yellow eyes', if that's the case then the voice he heard was real, 'Sam are you sure dude? You saw Yellow Eyes?'

'Funny … man … g-g-ot … m-m-mad … n-not … f-f-fun-funny … no …m-more.' Sam turned to face his big brother, he squinted and tried to focus on Dean's face but all he could see were blurred outlines. Angry he started to hit the side of his head with his good hand, 'dumb … dumb … dumb.' He kept repeating with each strike the movement catching Dean unaware at first, but then he realised what Sam was doing and moved quickly to grab his brother's arm and pin it down.

'Calm down Sam, please just calm down and breath for me.' Dean begged just as Bobby's phone started ringing insistently.

'Damn it all,' Bobby muttered as he hurried to answer it before it really freaked Sam out, 'this had better be important idjit.'

_'Bobby it's Rufus.'_

'What is it?'

_'Nice to talk to you too…'_

'Aint you supposed to be keeping an eye on Caleb?'

_'He's right here with me old man.'_

'Nuff of the old now what do ya want idjit?'

_'Caleb wanted me to give ya a heads up…'_

'Well the day's not getting any longer.'

_'we're at that old camp making sure that nuthin was missed…'_

'And? What is it Rufus aint got all day…'

_'In the bunkhouse, no other way to describe it Singer but that Moth did more than just eat people.'_

'What the freaking hell are ya talkin' about Rufus?'

_'The bunkhouse ceiling is covered in what looks like cocoons.' Rufus said sounding distracted, 'and from what we can see looks like he did some spawning if ya get my meaning.'_

'What the hell?'

_'Baby Gorathic Moths Bobby that plain enough for ya.'_

S—D

Dean helped Sam back into his bed and then perched himself on the side of it, smiling tenderly at his brother he brushed stray strands of hair from Sam's flushed face and shook his head, 'think we might have to get ya a haircut one of these days Sammy ya starting to look more like a Samantha.'

'Not funny Dean,' Sam pouted slightly, 'no one touches my hair.'

Sam's declaration had Dean sit up a bit straighter and sharpen his gaze slightly, that sounded so much like the old – older Sam, 'Sam?'

'Not much time Dean hard to keep control.' Sam pushed the words out as though he was fighting internally for control of his own body.

'Sam is that really you dude?' Dean asked, he did love his age-altered brother's persona but he so missed adult Sam.

'Yeah not much time in here …' Sam tapped his temple with his good hand and then reached over to grip Dean's tightly. 'Need – need you to …'

'Remember to breath slowly and think about your …' Dean started coaching Sam again but stopped when he saw the change in Sam's demeanour, 'what is it Sammy?'

'Sam not S-Sammy,' Sam hissed out of habit more than anything else, 'need you to help me … still in here Dean.'

'Who is Sammy?'

'M-Moth man and Yellow Eyes.'

'Ah dude, what's going on?'

'Can still see Yellow Eyes but – but only f-feel Moth.'

'What do you want me to do Sam?' Dean asked dreading Sam's answer, he knew deep down what his little brother was going to ask.

'Need you to-to do ritual again,' Sam pushed the words out the strain evident on his face, on-on me.'

'Ah Sam…'

'No-no l-listen to m-me Dean n-not much t-time left,' Sam said and squeezed Dean's hand again, 'need rit-ritual on m-me to m-make him g-go.'

'Okay dude … can you do me a favour and rest for me?' Dean asked as he let go of Sam's hand and pulled the blankets up to his brother's chest, 'rest while I go and get Bobby so we can get it all organised.'

'Th-thanks Dean,' Sam said as he tried to hide his yawn, suddenly he felt so tired. 'M'leepy.'

S—D

Dean waited until he was sure that Sam was sound asleep; brushing his fingertips over Sam's forehead, he told himself it was because he wanted to check for a fever but deep down he knew he just wanted to have that physical connection once more before going to find Bobby.

'Hey Bobby we need to talk…'

'Dean we need to talk…'

The two men met in the living room both speaking at the same time when they laid eyes on each other.

'What is it Bobby?'

'No Dean what is it? Is something wrong with Sam?'

'Just had a bit of a strange conversation with my little bro, and you look like you've seen the proverbial ghost.'

'That was ahh Rufus on the phone both him and Caleb are at that old camp where … they wanted to make sure that nothing was missed.'

'And?' Dean asked suddenly he had a feeling that Rufus' call and Sam's request were tied together.

'In the bunkhouse, they found … the ceiling is covered with cocoons, looks like there's gonna be baby Gorathic Moths soon, whatcha sayin' about Sam?'

'He – he was lucid Bobby, took a toll on him but he … he said he got control back for a minute. He said that the Moth and YED are still in his mind, he wants us to do the same ritual on him to exorcise them.'

'I thought this was all over Dean what the hell?' Bobby growled as he pushed his cap back and forward again in frustration.

'From what I could get from Sam, the moth is more or less in the background of his mind but the demon is the one talking to him, taunting him…'

'That explains little Sam, it'll be his mind or soul's way of protecting hisself.' Bobby said as the realisation hit both hunters at the same time.

'He regressed to protect himself from the psychic attacks from the moth and from The Demon.' Dean said he started to pace with the need to move overriding everything else, if he didn't pace he'd have started throwing punches with his pent up emotions and energy surging through him explosively.

'Rufus said that Caleb wanted to know if you had another … ahh Super Soaker?'

'The Supa Soaker? Only got the one but that's okay they can have that one and we'll use a spray bottle or something.'

'Do I need to know what you're talking about?'

Dean grinned and crooked his finger for Bobby to follow him out to the impala, they left the front door ajar so they could hear Sam if he woke up before they went back in. with a cheeky grin Dean went to the trunk and pulled out the giant pump action toy water gun, 'this Bobby is a Supa Soaker.'

S—D

Sam opened his eyes and stared around blearily, his head hurt so much it felt like someone had taken to his brain with a tiny pick axe and hammer both hitting at the same time. Blinking furiously he tried to remember why his sight was so out of whack and blurred when the memories hit him hard. With a harsh cry he threw his pillow across the room, tears of frustration ran freely down his face and went ignored as he tried to scramble out of his twisted blankets. Growling he balled up the offending bedding and threw them onto the floor; his entire body shook with the effort as he stood and staggered towards the window. He pounded on the glass and yelled at his brother and uncle, irrationally believing that they were leaving him, he screamed and hit the glass so hard it started to wobble under his weight.

S—D

Just as Dean shut the trunk lid he heard Sam yell his name out turning he stared in horror as his brother pounded on the glass window until it started to crack and shatter. 'No Sam!' he cried out but it was too late. Bobby and Dean watched on in horror as Sam's fist broke through the glass.

'Sammy!' Dean screamed as he sprinted towards his brother who stood dazed and staring down at the blurry red and moving thing on the end of his arm, 'Sammy?'

Sam turned slowly when he heard Dean's voice, he knew had done something wrong but couldn't work out what it was. Dimly he was aware of pain coming from his hand and the warm liquid dribbling from his fingers and splashing on the floor at his feet.

'Wha' 'ppened?' Sam asked as he swayed drunkenly suddenly feeling very lightheaded, 'don' feel so-so g-g-good Dean.'

'Whoa hang on sasquatch,' Dean said trying to keep his worry and anger at bay, for now he had a very confused and hurting little brother who needed his attention. 'Come on sit down and let me see ya hand.'

'M-my hand?' Sam said as he stared down at the blurred mess at the end of his arm, 'wha' hap-happened?'

'You tell me kiddo, why were ya banging on the window so hard?'

'S-s-saw you an-an-and B-Bob-Bobby l-leaving m-me.' Sam said dropping his lower lip into a pout, 'why yews lea-leaving m-me?'

'Leaving? Sam … Sammy we're not leaving you kiddo.' Dean said as he tried to keep his brother's attention, 'look at me Sam.'

'Yews were p-pack-packing 'pala!' Sam cried pawing at Dean's chest with his bleeding hand, 'don-don't yews l-love m-me no's more?'

'Calm down Sam please, remember what Debbie said you have to breath and think first, come on dude just breath nice and slow for me.'

'No!' Sam pushed against Dean's chest knocking his brother backwards, 'you not leave me.'

'Calm down now Sam!' Bobby growled as he stepped into the room, 'you do not push your brother around.'

'S-Sorry Un-Uncle B-Bobby … Dean…' Sam said pouting, 'don't leave me.'

'We're not leaving ya kid … now show me yer hand.' Bobby moved slowly towards the volatile younger Winchester, he kept Dean in sight as well as he approached, and mentally working out how far away from each other they all were.

'It's okay Sam we're not angry with you kiddo we just wanna make sure you're okay.' Dean said as he slowly sat back up rubbing his chest where the bruise was already forming; _damned kid doesn't know his own strength_.

'No!' Sam couldn't understand why he felt so angry but they were lying to him and that was not right, 'no you lie, you don't want me no more.'

'At least the stammering's gone.' Bobby quipped to Dean as he reached out to Sam, 'come on kiddo you're gonna face plant the floor in a moment, why don'tcha sit down and me let have a look.'

'No! Want Dean!' Sam yelled backing away from Bobby, 'you yelled at me.'

'I didn't … no one's yelling Sam we're just worried bout ya.' Bobby said but this time he remained where he was and held his hands up with palms out in a passive manner, 'will ya let us look after that hand of yours?'

'Hurts … Bobby where's Dean?' Sam blinked and tried to focus on his uncle's face, 'where's Dean? What happened to my hand?'

'Sam?' Bobby said and found himself desperately wanting a long straight whiskey.

'Sam is that you in there now?' Dean asked as he managed to stand without staggering, 'talk to me kiddo.'

'My … my hand … ahhh sorry Bobby broke tha window.'

'S'okay Sam can fix that easy,' Bobby said his relief heavy in his voice, 'how about we clean ya up now?'

'Huh? Yeah sure,' Sam said as he passively let Dean lead him out into the living room away from the window and broken glass, 'head feels funny.'

'How funny kiddo?'

'Em-empty, feels empty … got so mad and hot so … so hot,' Sam said sounding and looking so lost. 'Help me?'

'Is The Demon or the moth still there?' Dean asked as he carefully picked shards of glass from Sam's flesh.

'D-Dunno, feel something there but …'

'You can't stay mad forever Sam, you'd go mad.' Bobby said with a soft smile as he got the younger man to take two Tylenol on his tongue and then helped him sip some water to swallow them with. 'Atta boy.'

'My hands hurt,' Sam said with a slight pout, 'why?'

'You ahh decided to have a punch up with yer window,' Dean answered a little sharper than he intended but the constant changing in Sam's demeanour and persona was dizzying and more than just a little frustrating. 'You were asleep, you woke for some reason, got up and went to the window and picked a fight with it.'

'I-I saw you … and Bobby at – at the car … you leaving?'

'Leaving?' Bobby and Dean looked at each other as it dawned on them what Sam saw.

'Ah Sam no we're not leaving and certainly not packing to leave, Bobby wanted to see the Supa Soaker.' Dean said heaving a sigh of relief and finished dressing the wound on Sam's hand, now both of his hands were injured and bandaged, 'damn Sam you trying to become a living mummy huh?'

Sam glanced down at his hands both now swathed in white bandages and then up at his family, 'I guess huh?' He said sheepishly.

Once he was cleaned up and resting on the couch Sam closed his eyes and tried to relax, the voices were back in his head making his headache spike once again. 'Dean?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'Better hurry with that ritual.' Sam whispered barely audible; panic tightened around his chest and blood dripped from his nose and eyes, 'hurry Dean.'

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

**Author's Note 1:** **Warning! **This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

**Author's Note 3: **This is for certain reviewers who asked for a quicker update, amazing what a little bit of encouragement does hehehe, this is dedicated to the reviewers of chapter 12, you know who you are!

_What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?_

**Chapter 13 To dream the impossible or the improbable dream…**

_Now I lay me down to sleep I pray thee Lord my Soul to keep…_

**Then:**

_'Leaving?' Bobby and Dean looked at each other as it dawned on them what Sam saw._

_'Ah Sam no we're not leaving and certainly not packing to leave, Bobby wanted to see the Supa Soaker.' Dean said heaving a sigh of relief and finished dressing the wound on Sam's hand, now both of his hands were injured and bandaged, 'damn Sam you trying to become a living mummy huh?'_

_Sam glanced down at his hands both now swathed in white bandages and then up at his family, 'I guess huh?' He said sheepishly._

_Once he was cleaned up and resting on the couch Sam closed his eyes and tried to relax, the voices were back in his head making his headache spike once again. 'Dean?'_

_'Yeah Sammy?'_

_'Better hurry with that ritual.' Sam whispered barely audible; panic tightened around his chest and blood dripped from his nose and eyes, 'hurry Dean.'_

**Now:**

Dean sat at the small table in Bobby's kitchen carefully measuring the ingredients he needed for the ritual; Sam was sleeping albeit fitfully on the sofa where Dean could keep an eye on him and Bobby was out doing … Bobby stuff.

_'So Kiddo we just need to mix the ingredients a little and then bye, bye Sammy boy and hello Prince Dean.'_

'Leave me alone.' Dean ground out as he rubbed the back of his hand against his temple, 'aint got any time for your rubbish.'

_'Aw is that anyway to talk to your new … benefactor?'_

'Crap and you know it I dunno why I'm even talking to you!'

_'Coz you know that I'm right. Sam will never be strong enough to lead my army the moth did fuck him up more than I wanted but … ah I can taste your strength Kiddo so whatcha say? It is a limited time offer.'_

'Ya know where you can shove your offer,' Dean said as he stopped working and stared at his sleeping brother. His entire life has been spent looking after Sam; from the age of four he had been his main caregiver, friend, sparring partner, disciplinarian and mediator he did deserve his own life. But leader of the demonic armies? He was trained by their father to hunt and kill anything supernatural or freaky monster-like not to lead their fucking army.

Sam moaned in his sleep and started to squirm about, yet another nightmare was assailing his mind, just once Dean wished that he didn't have to mop up after his brother, to sooth his fears and night terrors and suddenly he felt that hot anger start to boil again deep in his belly.

_'Ah that's it Kiddo, feel that anger and rage want to taste blood? I can arrange it, you could have it all Deano whatever you want, women on call, weapons and power you could never imagine possessing, all you have to do is change the concoction and stuff up the ritual. That's it just sacrifice your useless, brain-stuffed little bro and you can have it all and more.'_

Dean slammed his fists on the table and swallowed down on the rising rage, he would never ever sacrifice Sam it was as simple as that. It would be like sacrificing part of his own body.

'Get the fuck outta my head!' Dean said in a low snarl, 'no deal.'

'Dean … boy who are you talking to?' Bobby said as he made his way over to the sink to wash his grease covered hands.

'Huh Bobby? How long you been standing there?' Dean stumbled over his words as he swiped his hand over his eyes and returned his attention back to Sam, 'do you think we're doing the right thing Bobby? Making Sam go through the ritual when he's so weak already?'

'It's what he wants Dean me personally I dunno maybe … I mean if there's a chance that we can get rid of whatever is sending him crazy or regressing back to a little kid we have to take it.'

'Yeah I know, it's just …'

'Just what?'

'Look at him Bobby he's so weak, he's lost so much weight and whatever is in his mind is sending him over the edge … what if it makes him worse?'

'Only one way to find out boy…'

'I know I just wish it wasn't so hard sometimes,'

'life aint meant to be all peaches and cream Dean,'

'since when did you get so poetic?'

'Shut up idjit.' Bobby finished washing up and went over to the fridge to rustle up some food and beers for the two of them; it was going to be a long night. 'Anyway ya never answered my question before…'

'Which was?'

'Just who were ya talking to idjit?'

S—D

Taking time before they began the ritual and while Sam still slept Dean went to shower, he needed some time out from all of Sam's issues and from Bobby's watchful gaze at times all he could feel was utter helplessness. Helplessness for his own situation; he had never asked for the life he was given, he had never asked to be a hunter or to be Sam's keeper, he had his own dreams once. To own a small garage and have a family of his own nothing extreme but it was not this life John had carved out for them.

Standing under a steaming hot stream of water Dean wanted to hit out and to destroy, he wanted Sam to have gone to college and do something with all of those smarts he had been blessed with. He wanted both of his parents alive and living happily in Laurence Kansas. Now, now that little shit of a demon expects him to betray his only living relative and best friend and work for him; to lead his army against humanity?

A calm stillness flooded through him and suddenly Dean knew exactly what he had to do.

S—D

After a lengthy discussion with Caleb and Rufus, it was decided that they would source their own Supa-Soaker for the cocoons in the old camping grounds. Bobby gave them the instructions Dean had written down point by point and went over a couple of strategies they could employ if something went wrong and then they were going to head back to Sioux Falls and Bobby's salvage yard.

After hanging up from Caleb Bobby glanced up at the stairs and then down at Sam, Dean was still hiding in the bathroom and that in itself was worrying for the seasoned hunter. The kid hadn't said who he was talking to or even why he was seemingly talking to someone even though there was no one else there except a sleeping Sam in the next room.

Scratching at his fledgling beard Bobby cursed under his breath and decided to prepare the living room before they had to disturb Sam.

'Uncle Bobby?' a child-like voice came from the extremely large boy lying on the couch, 'whatcha doing?'

'Just cleaning up a bit kiddo, how you doing?'

'M'okkies where's Dean?'

'Upstairs showering told him he smelled sumfin awful…'

Sam giggled and showed off his deep dimples as he watched the older man move around the room, 'Uncle Bobby?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'We haveta do that thingy don't we?'

'What thingy kiddo?'

'That rit-rit-al.'

'Ritual?'

'Yeah that, Sam says we haveta to it so we can get fixed,' Sam said with the sound of tears and the slightest tremor of fear in his voice.

'You talk to Sam?' Bobby asked not bothering to disguise his shock.

'Uhhuh he tells me when it's okkies or when I haveta hide and let him look after us.' Sammy said staring at his Uncle Bobby with large luminous eyes shining with tears, 'he looks afta me.'

'That's good to hear Sammy…'

'bad man is in here wif us too, don' like him.'

'Which bad man is that Sammy?'

'Moth man he meanie …'

'Ahh I see, how old are ya now kiddo?'

'I'm four and a bit!' Sammy announced happily, 'I'm a big boy now!'

'Ya sure are kiddo, how about you lie down and get some sleep while Dean has his shower and Uncle Bobby finishes his work?'

'Okkies … Uncle Bobby?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'I loves ya.' Sammy said as he snuggled back down under his blankets and let his eyes close slowly while he watched Bobby. The older man barely able to hide his tears, Sam was regressing faster than anticipated but now he was just talking about the moth man. So where is the Yellow Eyed Demon?

S—D

Dean put his foot on the last step when he heard Sammy and Bobby talking not wanting to interrupt them and more than intrigued on what they were talking about he lowered himself down to sit on the stairs and to listen them without letting on he was there. He knew it was wrong and intrusive but he needed to know what they were discussing and how it was going to affect him.

As he listened to how young Sammy sounded and how frightened he was Dean felt himself fracture even more and a single tear made its way down his cheek. That was the catalyst for his decision and if anything it bolstered his resolve that he had made the right one.

As he stood up he gave a slight cough and sauntered into the room, making sure that Bobby heard his arrival. 'How's he going Bobby?'

'Getting younger all the time,' Bobby said as he turned to look at the younger man standing awkwardly by the doorway, 'git in here and git organised idjit we's got work to do.'

'Yes Sir.' Dean gave him a smirk and went over to the table to gather what he needed, and without a second thought grabbed the bottle of whiskey and two glasses as well. 'Let's do this.'

S—D

'Sammy, hey Sam wanna wake up for me?' Dean said as he gently tapped Sam's cheek a smile forming on his pale face when he saw sleepy green eyes staring up at him, 'hey Sammy.'

'Hey Dean, what's going on?' Sam blinked and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. 'Is it time?'

'That you in there this time Sam?' Bobby asked as he came to stand next to the sofa and look down at the young man; a fond smile formed on his craggy features softening them.

'Yeah it's me Bobby,' Sam replied returning the smile as he looked from Bobby to Dean a few times, 'we gonna do the ritual now?'

'If you feel up to it Sam,' Bobby said, 'just say the word kid and we'll put it off.'

'No, no I'm ready.' Sam slowly started to get up with the colour draining from his face when he sat up.

'Whoa hang on there Champ let us help you,' Dean said putting a gentle hand on Sam's shoulder, 'you've been horizontal for a long time.'

'Thanks…' Sam said with a sheepish grin, 'I ah need help.'

Twenty minutes later they were finally ready with Sam lying in the centre of a large devil's trap dressed only in his jeans. He stared up at his older brother with a trusting gaze as Dean traced sigils on Sam's chest after dipping his fingers in the pungent herbal mixture, and then he moved out of the devil's trap marking different spots around Sam with more of the mix. Finally, once he was done Dean went to stand next to Bobby and started to read from the parchment he held. The chant was in Latin and the words fell flawlessly from his lips as he concentrated on Sam.

'_Just a slip of the tongue and we can still do this Deano.' _The demon's voice echoed in Dean's mind making him falter slightly before he swallowed deeply and kept the chant going.

'_All the power in the world can be yours for the taking Deano, I will have my Prince before the end of this night, let it be you and we can rule together.'_

Wind whipped around them in the closed room as their chanting hit its crescendo and Sam started to writhe on the floor, a pain-filled scream tore out of his mouth as he seemingly started to convulse. Another roar, primal and pained came from him as the Gorathic moth's essence erupted from Sam's mouth in a gaseous and noxious cloud. Exhausted Sam slumped back onto the floor as Bobby aimed the Supa Soaker at the cloud exploding it with two big squirts of the herbal mixture.

'Sammy?' Dean called out as he ran to his fallen brother and cradled him against his chest, he could barely breath until he knew for sure that Sam was still alive.

'Dean?' Bobby called as he watched for any signs of danger, 'how is he?'

'Alive,' came the succinct reply.

S—D

With innate tenderness Dean washed away the blood, grime and remains of the concoction from his brother's chest and face before dressing him in a clean T-shirt and thick sweater. He had laid him back on the couch after carrying him from the centre of the devil's trap and covered him with warm blankets.

'Anytime you wanna wake up Sammy it's fine with me,' he said as he tucked the blankets around his unconscious sibling, 'you with me dude?'

'Dean!' Bobby's strangled voice sent shudders down Dean's spine as he slowly turned around and saw Bobby pressed against the wall with invisible bonds holding him immobile, the strain evident on his face as he tried to fight against it. Slow clapping drew Dean's attention away from Bobby and Sam; spinning around he managed to catch a glimpse of a large cloud of black oiliness erupt from the mouth of a man and hover between them before shooting straight towards Dean's face.

'Dean!' Bobby called out again as the invisible hands let him go and he dropped unceremoniously to the floor, 'damn it Dean fight it.'

'Sorry but Dean can't come out to play,' the strange voice came from Dean's voice as he turned and smiled down at the fallen hunter, yellow eyes gleamed at him instead of the normally bright emerald green Bobby was used to.

'Damn it Dean you hear me boy you fight him.'

'Now I'm gonna leave the drooling mess of young Sam here with ya hunter, for now anyway,' Dean/YED turned to stare unblinking down at the still unconscious Sam. 'But I will be back!'

Raising a hand Dean/YED flicked his fingers and Bobby screamed; the sound of breaking bone audible in the room, with a smug laugh the demonically possessed young hunter disappeared.

S—D

'Dean? Bobby?' Sam called out hesitantly, it was so quiet, too quiet for the youngest Winchester, 'Where are you guys?'

After two attempts he finally sat up and stared around with an unfocused gaze; as everything became slightly clearer Sam cried out when he saw Bobby lying on the floor against the far wall, 'Bobby?'

Struggling with his uncooperative limbs Sam managed to stagger over to the fallen hunter, he heaved a sigh of relief when he managed to find a pulse and breathes, 'what happened Bobby?'

Tearfully he stared around confused; he could barely remember anything that has happened over the last few months let alone the last few hours but something bad had happened, 'Oh God!' he whispered when he saw the stranger's body lying on the kitchen floor and traces of the yellow powder he knew so well – sulphur.

'Dean! Dean! Where are you?' He yelled as he sat against the wall and cradled Bobby's head on his lap, 'where are ya Dean? I need you!' He sobbed as tears started to fall down his face.

'Dean!'

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

**Disclaimer:** I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

**Author's Note 1:** **Warning! **This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

_What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?_

S—D

**Chapter 14: Can Dean come out to play?**

_If I should die before I wake … I pray thee Lord my Soul to take …_

**Then:**

_Struggling with his uncooperative limbs Sam managed to stagger over to the fallen hunter, he heaved a sigh of relief when he managed to find a pulse and breathes, 'what happened Bobby?'_

_Tearfully he stared around confused; he could barely remember anything that has happened over the last few months let alone the last few hours but something bad had happened, 'Oh God!' he whispered when he saw the stranger's body lying on the kitchen floor and traces of the yellow powder he knew so well – sulphur._

_'Dean! Dean! Where are you?' He yelled as he sat against the wall and cradled Bobby's head on his lap, 'where are ya Dean? I need you!' He sobbed as tears started to fall down his face._

_'Dean!'_

**Now:**

I can't believe this is happening to me, how the fuck did I let it happen? Okay let's get this all into perspective before I lose my freaking mind altogether. I remember the ritual, watching that thing explode out of Sam's mouth and Bobby's great aim with the Supa-Soaker, awesome!

I remember getting Sam cleaned up and dressed warmly, great lugging thing he is, a true Sasquatch for sure. I remember putting him back on the couch and then Bobby calling my name and then … a big fucking zero!

So that brings me up to now, now all I know is that I feel like a ghost in my own body; nah that's not right, I'm a freaking prisoner in my own body. It's like I am looking through someone else's eyes looking through my eyes and it's freaking me out. I tell my hand to move and it does nothing, I try to yell to make a sound and nothing comes out except that annoying cocky fucking voice skiting about what a coup it is to inhabit this perfect male specimen. Well I can add a little extra if I want to this is my possession so deal!

Where was I? Oh yeah I am ranting coz if I don't then I think I'm gonna lose it and I wanna give YED a freaking big headache and make his stay in this fine body the most miserable time of his freaking existence.

I know that Bobby got hurt and I felt it like it happened to me; man does it really feel like this all of the time? The most weird feeling is the fact that I'm here, aware existing and yet I have no control over anything it's like … actually I can't say what it's like coz there is nothing I can compare it too.

So the lowdown so to speak is this, I am now a possessed man and it does not sit well at all; the worst thing of it all is that if YED eats pie I'm not gonna be able to enjoy it. Torture or what!

So here I am in a little box in my own mind and no I am not coming off a big bender I am literally held prisoner in this little box and only allowed out to see what crappy things YED is doing with my body and it sucks big time man.

I need to work out how to get out of this coz I know that YED is gonna go after Sam and that is not happening not with him in so-called control of my body. Bad enough that he hurt Bobby using me there's no way he's gonna hurt my brother. So what do I do? Concentrate Dean!

Crap he's on the move, now this is totally weird dude, it's like I'm moving and staying still at the same time. I need to get a message to Sam, now to work out how, hang on we are so not driving my baby … Ahh this is freaking war!

S—D

Silence was reigning at Singer Salvage Yard; the entire property seems to have been covered in a layer of utter silence. There was no sound in the yard, no work, no dogs barking not even the odd sound of car carcasses settling and scraping against each other. The trees were silent and still not a breath of wind pushed through the leaves, even the birds seemed to have recognised the pall of silence and have either decided to leave and find other trees or to sit and wait watching in an eerie stillness.

In the house the two remaining inhabitants had not made a sound in two days; Sam had managed to lift Bobby onto the couch and to splint his leg but that was as much as the youngest Winchester could manage and exhausted he collapsed on the floor next to Bobby.

Rufus and Caleb walked into the scene just as it was and it had been ever since possessed Dean had hurt Bobby and left with threats of coming back for Sam.

Sam squinted up at Caleb without any recognition of the older man for a few minutes longer silence reigned.

'Dammit it Sam talk to me,' Caleb said as he gently tapped Sam's cheek to get his attention. A chill ran through him when he saw the emptiness in the normally crystal clear green eyes, 'Sam please kiddo we need to know what happened.'

Slowly almost lethargically Sam blinked and finally his eyes looked as though they were becoming focussed. Frowning he lifted a shaking hand up to Caleb's face and tentatively touched his cheek, 'Caleb?' Sam said his voice barely audible and sounding hoarse.

'Hey Sam you back with me?'

'Is that you?' Sam asked before turning his head slightly to squint up at Rufus, 'both of you?'

'Yeah little dude what happened here?'

'Bobby?' sluggishly Sam ran his hand over his face and turned to look at the still unconscious Bobby.

'What happened here Sam?' Caleb asked again, his impatience was thinning but he had to keep it reigned in for Sam's sake the kid was too skittish and confused he had to tread very carefully. 'Where's Dean?'

At the mention of his brother's name Sam's head snapped up and he stared as hard as he could at Caleb, chills started to course through his body making him shiver uncontrollably.

Rufus and Caleb glanced at each other their worry and concern etched across their faces as they tried to fathom what exactly had happened.

'Rufus? Caleb? Are you two idjits really here?' Bobby asked his voice sounding rougher than normal, 'ahh shit … Sam?'

'What happened Bobby? Sam's in some sort of shock, Dean's not here and you're all busted up what happened?' Caleb's questions came thick and fast.

'Drink would be good first,' Bobby grumbled as he tried to haul himself into a more upright position when Sam moved quickly and silently to help him. 'Thanks kiddo.'

Rufus passed a glass of whiskey to Bobby, gave Sam a can of soda and then poured two more whiskeys one each for himself and Caleb. Bobby downed his whiskey and held the empty glass out to Rufus, 'medicinal purposes,' he ground out.

'So when are you gonna tell us what happened?' Caleb asked once again although this time he let all of his frustration and impatience leech into his voice, 'where's Dean?'

Sam started when he heard his brother's name, his breathing hitched as he fought to control his rising tears and pent up emotions he had to keep his control, he felt so empty and so lost he knew that Dean would know what to do but he was no longer Dean.

'We did the ritual,' Bobby said as he put a gentle supportive hand on Sam's shoulder and squeezed lightly, 'it was a success and we got rid of the Gorathic moth outta Sam.'

'That's great news Bobby, Sam,' Caleb said with a grin that quickly faded when he noticed the tenseness was still there in both Bobby and in Sam. 'What is it?'

'Not sure exactly how it happened but this, this man appeared out of nowhere and the next thing I know is that I'm pinned to the wall and can't move, the man drops dead and a thick black cloud comes straight out of his mouth and flies straight into Dean's. There was nothing anyone could've done, it happened too fast … One minute I'm pinned to the wall the next a possessed Dean slams me to the floor breaking my leg and threatening to come back for Sam and then he left.' Bobby said as he kept his gaze fixed on Sam's face.

'Sam?'

'Was out cold for most of it, dunno what happened after that till you two idjits turned up.'

'So Dean is now on top of the most wanted list?' Rufus muttered earning himself two deadly glares from both Bobby and Caleb.

Sam stared at his can of drink oblivious to what was being said by the others; sighing deeply he took a deep breath and let his eyes slowly slide shut closing him off from the world.

_A thick fog covered everything around him, blanketing it all in thick clouds and mists, he could hear breathing but there was no one around him. It was then he realised that the dull grey fogginess was more to do with his eyesight than anything else._

_Once again he was effectively blind, stumbling with his hands stretched out to help balance himself and to feel for any obstacles. He followed the sound of breathing for what seemed like hours when the winds started to whip around his feet tripping him over._

_'Where are you?' He cried out unable to go any further, 'please tell me where you are?'_

_'Who are you?'_

_'You know who I am.'_

_'Where are you?'_

_'Come find me.'_

_'Who are you?'_

_'Don't have a lot of time left … Find me.'_

_'How can I find you?'_

_'Listen for me.'_

_'Tell me your name please.'_

_'Think and it will…'_

Sam sat up gasping for air, his jerky movements caused his drink to spill over his hands and puddle in a sticky mess at his feet. Dazed he stared at the spilled fluid for a moment before looking up at the others, his gaze lazily drifted from one hunter to another until he landed on Bobby's face. 'Where's Dean?' He finally asked, his eyes wide and questioning showed nothing of his earlier experiences.

'Sam how you doing kid?' Bobby asked inwardly cursing his broken leg when all he wanted to do was to go and check the youngest Winchester for himself.

'M'okay tired I guess but okay, hey Rufus, Caleb when did you guys get here?' Sam blinked and squinted up at the two men, 'dunno where Dean has gone though.'

'Sam … kiddo I haveta tell ya sumfin.' Bobby said knowing that he couldn't put it off any longer, 'it's about yer brother.'

'Dean? What is it? What's wrong?' Sam cried out as the vision he had just moments ago assaulted him again, suddenly he realised that the vision was in someway connected to his brother. 'Where is my brother?'

'You have to calm down Sam,' Caleb said sounding more like John Winchester at that moment than the man himself, 'take a deep breath.'

Closing his eyes Sam complied instinctively to the order even though it was Caleb speaking and not his dad John or Dean for that matter. Taking a deep breath he tried to slow his heart-rate down but all he succeeded in doing was to become even more aware of his heart thudding against his chest as though it was trying to break out of the cavity and through his ribs in a bid for freedom.

'We need ya Sam, we need you to help get Dean back alive,' Caleb finished the order hating to play on Sam's inherent need to save his brother no matter what.

'What happened to my brother?' Sam asked as he opened his eyes finally and tried to focus on Bobby's face, 'what happened after the ritual Bobby?'

'The demon, the one who was after you along with the moth man…'

'Yeah I remember …'

'He appeared out of nowhere, this guy suddenly appeared and before Dean and I could do much he had me pinned and broke me leg afore he dropped and the demon … it's possessing Dean … all it said when it left was that it was going to come back for you.'

'The, the voice tormenting Dean it was the demon wasn't it?' Sam asked although the way he had huddled in on himself it was as if he was talking to himself.

'Sam talk to us,' Caleb said as he crouched down in front of the younger man and tried to break into his internal reverie, 'come on kid this is not helping.'

'The voice it kept at Dean, he – he tried to hide it from me but I knew,' Sam kept rambling as he fell further into his own thoughts and away from his physical surroundings. 'The vision I know, I know what it meant now.'

'Sam, Sammy come on dude we need ya here with us,' Caleb said trying to reach Sam once more but the younger man just slipped further away, as his mind tried to protect him from any more trauma.

'Why didn't I know? Why couldn't I see him?' Sam rubbed the side of his head as he slowly pushed himself upward pressing against the wall he moved unseeingly away from the others as his fingers tracked the wall for his seemingly sightless eyes.

'Dammit watch him Caleb don't let the idjit hurt hisself.' Bobby said his voice low and gravelly from the emotional and physical pain he was suffering. 'Rufus I need ya to git stuff together for me, we'll bring the possessed idjit back.'

S—D

I can feel my body moving and have no control over where I am going or what I am doing. I can feel these weird sensations and it feels like I'm tripping or something. Maybe that's it, being possessed is like having a bad trip on acid or something not that I know what that's like or anything. I felt myself freefalling before and could've sworn I heard Sam's voice, that we were having this surreal conversation; trying to let him know who I was without saying my name, he sounded so lost and I thought, really thought that I had gotten through to him when our connection was severed. I have no idea if that was real or not … okay so where are we going now you fucking bastard.

The fuck! We're driving my baby, it's like it's violating my baby by doing this and there's nothing I can do to stop it. Yeah well I can give this mother a huge fucking headache, 'Ya hear that you fucking demonic slug I'm gonna make you pay for taking my body.'

Oh God it's so not gonna eat that … I'm gonna puke I know it.

S—D

Sam kept muttering to himself as he felt his way along the walls of Bobby's house until he reached the door to the basement. Without stopping Sam stepped through the door and meticulously made his way down the steps into the colder, darker basement.

'Where the hell are you going kid?' Caleb muttered as he followed the youngest Winchester, his curiosity getting the better of him as he made his way down the stairs squinting into the darkness, _hope you know whatcha doing Sam, _the thought was loud in his mind in contrast to the silence of the basement.

He found Sam huddled in a corner of the room clutching a baseball mitt and a ratty looking brown teddy bear with one eye missing and a torn ear. Sam clutched the two items close to his chest as he pushed himself further into the corner.

'Sam hey kid whatcha doin' down here?' Caleb asked as quietly as he could so he wouldn't startle Sam, 'I'm just in front of you Sam.'

'D-Dean said to hide … he'd come for me and I had to go to the safe spot.' Sam answered in a monotone voice, with no emotive inflections at all.

'Sam dude I think Dean would want you to stay with me until he could come for you…'

'Na huh nope,' Sam shook his head and tightened his grip on his prized possessions, 'nope Dean said I had to stay here and – and wait for him, if daddy not here then I have to wait for Dean.'

'Oh Gods Sam please dude I need you to come back from wherever you're hiding in that noggin of yours coz we need yer help to get Dean back from the big demon.'

Sam blinked and looked at the man in front of him; he knew that he was someone he should remember, he should know but for some reason he couldn't, confused he tried to block him out but then he heard him mention Dean's name and Sam knew that he had to concentrate. Frowning he stared at Caleb again almost willing his sight to improve enough so that he could make out the finer details, 'C-Cal?' he said finally his voice barely carried to Caleb's ears but it was enough.

'Hey Sam, come one dude we need ya firing on all cylinders for this, need ya to come back.'

'D-Dean?'

'He's been possessed …'

'I-I heard his voice in – in a vision but was fog-foggy and, and I couldn't see him.'

'Sam … Sam are you with me?'

'Huh?' Sam frowned and then nodded wearily, tightening his grip on the mitt and stuffed toy, 'Dean put them here for me to look after if anything happened and we got separated.'

'Sam … don't…'

'This was his mitt and The Boo was my bear, it was his until I was born and then dad said Dean put him in my crib and told me that The Boo would look after me just like he had looked after Dean till he was a big boy of four and a big brother.' Sam said with a soft chuckle, 'Dad said that no matter what he tried to do to get rid of this ratty little bear he kept turning up in my bed or between me and Dean or in one of our bags. Dean said that The Boo was a good spirit sent to look after us, especially after our mom died.'

'Sam…'

'I'm gonna get Dean back,' Sam said as he pushed himself upright until he was standing and reached a shaking hand out to Caleb, 'thanks Cal.'

'No probs at all dude and we'll make sure that The Boo and Dean will be reunited.' Caleb promised although he felt vaguely foolish promising it and was positive that when they did get Dean back, then that promise will soon become fodder for a lot of teasing.

S—D

The slick black '67 Chevy Impala sleeked through the streets of Sioux Falls like a predator on the hunt for the most choice of prey. The rumbling motor giving the only warning that it was on the prowl, passersby couldn't help but notice the shining black duco or the handsome driver who guided it effortlessly through the traffic.

Some knew the car and driver from the many visits over the years to Bobby Singer's place but they couldn't quite remember the name or for how many years just that the face and car were known.

Although the near perfect driving and handling of the large vehicle were just about done, when suddenly and for no apparent reason the car started to swerve dangerously onto the wrong side of the road; witnesses claimed that the driver seemed to be in pain or fighting off something unseen before it sideswiped three parked cars and a road barrier.

Then as quickly as the erratic behaviour began it stopped and once again the driver seemingly had control over the muscle car once again as he straightened it and sped towards its original destination: Singer Salvage Yard.

S—D

It is like a freaking blind snapping up and tangling with the cords when I get to see through my own eyes again. We're driving the impala, my baby, and heading towards my baby brother. I knew without having to tap the demon's thoughts that's where it's heading, the pull to Sam was strong for both me and it and that freaked me out. Why would the demon be boning for Sam so badly? It said that it wasn't interested in Sam anymore that he was damaged beyond repair.

Well I know for a fact that aint true, if anyone knows my brother Sam it's me and nothing will keep him down. For one he's too smart and for another Sam has never backed down and has never gotten back up. He might be hurting but he'll come through this.

If he doesn't then he'll have me kicking his ass from here to kingdom come. Now back to the bastard who decided to take my body and my baby for a drive; this is one drive that is gonna be short lived for that demonic bastard. 'Ya hear me you fucking moron I'm coming for ya.' I can feel the rage building up inside and I know that it's all me this time, that the rage is no longer YED's. I'm gonna let it fest and grow until he can't hold me here anymore, so breaking these chains and then it's me and you … mono en mono … one on one … me and you demon dude.


	15. Chapter 15

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

**Disclaimer:** I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

**Author's Note 1:** **Warning! **This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?

S—D

**Chapter 15: He aint heavy he's my possessor**

_Come out; come out where ever you are! Ollie, Ollie Oxen Free!_

**Then:**

_It is like a freaking blind snapping up and tangling with the cords when I get to see through my own eyes again. We're driving the impala, my baby, and heading towards my baby brother. I knew without having to tap the demon's thoughts that's where it's heading, the pull to Sam was strong for both me and it and that freaked me out. Why would the demon be boning for Sam so badly? It said that it wasn't interested in Sam anymore that he was damaged beyond repair._

_Well I know for a fact that aint true, if anyone knows my brother Sam it's me and nothing will keep him down. For one he's too smart and for another Sam has never backed down and has never gotten back up. He might be hurting but he'll come through this._

_If he doesn't then he'll have me kicking his ass from here to kingdom come. Now back to the bastard who decided to take my body and my baby for a drive; this is one drive that is gonna be short lived for that demonic bastard. 'Ya hear me you fucking moron I'm coming for ya.' I can feel the rage building up inside and I know that it's all me this time, that the rage is no longer YED's. I'm gonna let it fester and grow until he can't hold me here anymore, so breaking these chains and then it's me and you … mono en mono … one on one … me and you demon dude. _

**Now:**

Holy Hell! What the fudging hell happened? One minute I was watching myself driving my baby, very badly mind you, and the next thing the curtains are dropped and everything is lights out.

Okay concentrate Dean; think … I remember driving my car and feeling as though we were about to crash and then black! Right I can do this, okay I don't think that anything has happened to this fine body of mine still looking fine and moving – good! So where are we? Bobby's? No freaking way! This so can't be good!

Hang on fuck my hands hurt, feel as though I have been going a few one on one rounds with something or someone. Oh shit no! No! No! No! Not him, please God not him!

S—D

Singer Salvage Yard

One hour earlier:

Bobby watched Sam as the younger hunter sat dejectedly staring out of the living room window watching the driveway and waiting for the return of his brother.

For the first time in decades Bobby felt his hardened heart start to thaw and crumble; the kid had seen and experienced too much in his short life; it wasn't fair on him or anyone connected to him. Even as a little kid, Sam Winchester worried and fretted about everyone he loved and was a deep little idjit. He could twist things around to make it all to be his own fault no matter how innocent he actually was and amazing how that gift was as a little kid it is even more amazing now and a helluva lot more aggravating.

'Is everything okay Bobby?' Sam asked softly without turning around, 'do you want me to do anything?'

'Nope, nothing kiddo just checking to see how ya going,' Bobby said as he wiped away the memories with a quick swipe of his tired eyes, rubbing his knuckles against the graininess.

'Oh, okay,' Sam said with a heavy sigh as he turned back to his vigil, 'it's gonna be dark soon do you think Dean and Dad will … I mean do ya think Dean will be back soon?'

'Not sure but we'll be here waiting for him when he gets here,' Bobby said as he glanced up at Caleb who had just come in the front door, 'Caleb what's wrong?'

'Nothing Bobby, just did a circuit of the yard, man you have so much junk here how the hell do you keep track old man?'

'Nuff of the old ya idjit and for yer information I know exactly what is in that yard,' Bobby huffed and readjusted his position of his broken leg on the cushioned kitchen chair as he sat behind his desk, 'where's the other idjit?'

'Rufus went into town for supplies; we're just about out of food.' Caleb said as he draped himself over a lounge chair and smirked over at Sam, 'what's up kid? How you doing?'

'M'fine Cal, just waiting for Dean and dad to come back,' Sam answered distractedly, 'they said that they'll be back soon.'

'Oh okay,' Caleb said slowly as he traded worried glances with Bobby, 'where are they again Sam?'

'Dean rang me an' said that him and dad were on their way back when dad heard about a Wendigo or sumfin so they're gonna go check it out and then come back for me.' Sam said pressing his forehead against the coolness of the glass window.

Bobby frowned as he listened to Sam and then it hit him what Sam was reliving in his mind or whatever. That was one of the worst times for the youngest Winchester and one of the times Bobby could have literally put a bullet in John Winchester. Sam was only eleven years old and had been aware of John's true job for a couple of years.

_The nightmares and terrors came thick and fast during those early years as did John's temper and impatience with his youngest son's reticence to the dangers of the hunt. He had left Sam with Bobby as punishment for daring to argue with John over their last hunt when he had left Sam alone in the impala while he took Dean with him to hunt down a supposed poltergeist when it was actually a vengeful spirit who had tried to take Sam from the car by more than just a bit of force and had Dean trapped in an empty grave. _

_Eleven year old Sam had tried to tell his father before they left the motel that it was not a poltergeist which had escalated into Sam being banished to the car and the hunt nearly ending in tragedy. They had arrived at Bobby's a few days later with Dean sporting a black eye and sprained wrist and Sam bruised ribs. Dean was out of it on pain killers when they had arrived so John had pulled Sam physically from the car, dropped his backpack and duffle bag at his feet, growled a quick greeting at Bobby's and then was roaring out of the gates before anyone could take a breath. Bobby looked down at the dejected kid next to him and inwardly cursed John Winchester, all the while plotting what he was going to do to the idjit when he finally came back. It had taken a month before John stopped punishing his boys and returned for Sam. Bobby had had a sneaking suspicion it was Dean's temper and stubbornness that had John return for Sam and not out of regret and missing his baby boy like he had claimed. Both of the boys had lost weight, had dark smudges under their eyes and were deathly silent unless directly spoken to. Until they saw each other, Sam was in his brother's embrace before he was properly out of the car and then they were talking and whispering and ignoring their father as they headed back to the house._

_Bobby stood silently on the front veranda watching the younger man limp towards him; the hangdog expression on his face and the assortment of cuts and bruises brought a macabre smile to Bobby's face. 'John.'_

_'Bobby.'_

_'See ya found yer way back finally.'_

_'Was Sam alright for you?'_

_'Depends on ya definition of alright.'_

_'Don't start on me Bobby, we got back didn't we?'_

_'A month John you were gone a month with barely a phone call to the kid.'_

_'Dean rang him every night.'_

_'What about you John? When did you ring him?'_

_'Well we're here now.'_

_'Yeah for how long?'_

_'We can go now if ya don't want us.'_

_'Didn't say that but I do need to know, I aint putting my life on hold for you forever John.'_

_'Did I ask ya to?'_

_'Don't ya turn this around on me John Winchester, that kid has been making hisself sick pining away for you and his brother.'_

_'You mean for his brother …'_

_'If I meant that I would've said that ya freakin' great idjit.'_

_Sam and Dean sat on the bottom step of the inside stairs and listened to their father and uncle argue their voices carrying through the closed door. Sam huddled against his brother's side and twisted his fingers in the back of Dean's shirt. 'M'sorry Dean.' Sam whispered._

_'What for Sammy?' Dean answered, both boys so intent on each other neither of them realised that the arguing had stopped and the front door had opened. 'Whatcha sorry for Sammy?'_

_'M'fault that dad's mad, if I weren't here then he wouldn't be mad anymore and you could hunt wif him.' Sam said as he stared at his sneakered feet, 'maybe the spirit should've taken me and then you wouldn't hafta worry no more.'_

_'No Sammy that's not right, please don't say that.' Dean said tightening his hug around Sam's pitifully thin shoulders._

_'Maybe dad should just leave me here for good and then I wouldn't be in the way anymore.'_

_'No Sam that's not right.' John said making the two boys jump in surprise just as high as Bobby did he had forgotten the other man for a brief second as he listened to Sam's heartbroken words. 'You were never in the way, it was my fault kiddo, and I shouldn't have left you for so long. I am so sorry Sammy.' _

_'I am so sorry Sammy.' _The words echoed in Bobby's ears as he shook off the memory and stared at the twenty-two year old kid sitting on his sofa and staring out the window but all he could see was that scrawny little eleven year old.

'You alright old man?' Caleb asked with concern, he had been trying to get Bobby's attention for the last few minutes and it was more than worrying him how spaced out the older man seemed.

'Bobby, Bobby look it's the pala! Dean's back.' Sam's excited shout had both Bobby and Caleb reaching for weapons but before either of them could do anything Sam was out the front door and running towards the large muscle car. 'Dean!'

S—D

Oh God Sammy what have I done? Hang on it wasn't me it was that freaking bastard demon, how could I, we do that?

Sam lay tied to the bed with a dirty rag shoved in his mouth and was bloodied and bruised and I did that to him. It was my hands, my strength and well it might not have been me behind the wheel so to speak but it may as well have been.

Shit not making much sense am I? It seems that the bastard acted like me, convinced Sam that I was no longer possessed; poor kid with his still scrambled noggin' believed it. Thank God, yeah that's right ya bastard I said thank God for Bobby Singer and his Holy Water beer.

Does make ya wonder I guess, what else the bastard has been up to using this body of mine. Shit I gotta concentrate, now what did it do to Bobby and Cal? And the bigger question how the hell do I make it go and find out?

Hang on what the no, no leave him alone you fucking yellow eyed bastard!

S—D

Rufus moved stealthily through the salvage yard using the piles of old and forgotten cars as a screen against the demons patrolling the house. He had counted two more after the two he had already sent packing back to hell. Now he had to get into the house and to find the others; silently he moved towards his intended target, they must have been either very low, low level demons or new ones as they were too easy to get rid of. The blade dipped in holy water did the trick each time and soon Rufus had a clear run to the house.

He moved carefully to the storm cellar door he knew Bobby kept clear and accessible for possible quick escapes. Gotta love the paranoia the old coot has.

S—D

Sam tried to focus on the familiar face floating above him; everything was blurry and barely recognisable but he knew who it was hurting him. He didn't understand why Dean was hurting him so much why? _What did I do?_

He screamed against the gag as more blows rained down on him, he felt a rib give after the last one and a strange tight feeling filled the right side of his chest, he could feel his breath bubbling. Dean?

S—D

This has gotta stop now! I am not gonna do this anymore, fuck you, you fucking yellow eyed bastard I'm not your puppet anymore.

Okay so that didn't even make it flinch but this might, I'm letting my memories of Sam and me as kids flood my mind, good old fashioned brotherly love from when I carried him out of the fire and then growing up together.

YES! It's working though how long I have to keep this up I'm not sure but as long as he leaves Sammy alone. I can do this, just have to clear my mind, hahaha, yeah I made a joke!

S—D

Sam braced himself for the killing blow from Dean but it didn't come, slowly he opened his eyes and squinted up at the blurred shape hovering by his side. Something was wrong, Dean was standing there with this pained look on his face but he wasn't moving, he wasn't doing anything at all.

Sam swallowed deeply and tasted the acrid copper taste of blood making him gag against the rag shoved so deeply in his mouth. Closing his eyes he tried to calm his treacherous thoughts but his weakening body gave way on him, _'Dean, please help me!'_

_Two little boys sat huddled in the back of the closet; they could hear sounds of violence from the other side of the door. Terrified they pressed harder against the back wall trying to blend in with the shadows and the darkness. They had to follow orders and stay hidden but that didn't make things any better; if anything it made it worse because all they could do was to sit there and listen to the sounds of fighting._

_The door swung opened and sunlight flared into the closet, the breeze ruffled the leaves behind them and the water glistened in the summer sun. Two pairs of feet dangled in the water splashing in the cool shallow depths; a fishing line bobbed next to them but was mostly ignored as they enjoyed a rare day of relaxation and fun._

_Without warning black clouds formed and covered the sun, thunder rolled across the horizon as lightening struck a tree on the other side of the lake to them. 'Dean, Sammy, boys come on.' A deep masculine voice commanded their presence and instantly their calm was destroyed, fear again clawed its way into their hearts. Two strong hands reached out to grab them and to take them to safety._

_The car skidded sideways on the slick road as two little boys clutched each other in the backseat. Their father drove expertly down the highway managing to stay in front of the ghost truck chasing them. Every so often he risked a quick glance at the two most precious people in his life and gave them a reassuring wink; he wrenched the wheel and steered the large car into a narrow drive way coming to a heaving stop with a smoking u-turn at the end of the asphalt. He sat there watching and waiting with two sets of eyes focussed on him; no one spoke or even dared to make a sound breathing. They all sat and waited…_

_'Dean help me please!'_

_'Sammy help me please!'_

S—D

The bedroom door crashed open and two things happened at once, Rufus tackled Dean and Caleb rescued Sam. Within two minutes the room was still and quiet with all but heavy drawn out breathes. Rufus stood over Dean's prone form and stared at Caleb in shock, he was prepared for an otherworldly fight against the possessed younger man and all it took was too carefully placed punches.

Caleb headed straight for the bed and cut the ropes holding Sam prisoner and then tenderly removed the gag and material shoved tightly in the young man's mouth. Tiny flakes of skin and dried saliva acted like an adhesive and made the extraction of the rag even more difficult. Dried and fresh blood stained it and made Caleb's stomach clench with nausea; swallowing deeply he reached down to check Sam's breathing when he noticed the blueness around his mouth. 'Ah shit!'

'Caleb what is it?' Rufus asked as he finished tying Dean's wrists and ankles using rope soaked in holy water.

'Sam's cyanotic dammit Rufus I think we're losing him.'

'No we aint losing anyone … can you manage him downstairs to Bobby or wanna wait till I get this one fixed up?'

'Nah I'll be fine … waiting but ya better hurry up.' Caleb said as he concentrated on dressing as many of Sam's wounds as he could.

Rufus hauled Dean's limp body up and slung him over his shoulder in a fireman's hold before he hurried as quickly as he could downstairs to the prepared devil's trap.

'Dean help me.' Sam whispered so softly that for a moment Caleb thought he had just imagined it and then Sam repeated it again before his breathing came to a stuttering stop.

S—D

Man do I feel like I've been hit with a mallet, everything is so fucked up I don't know what to think or to do anymore. It feels so strange, something is different it feels like its drunk or high but still in control of my body. But then again, its raging against something ahh it's tied down, way to go Rufus.

What is this feeling though so weird, if I wasn't trapped in my head I'd swear that … damn they're trying to exorcise me! AH Fuck!

S—D

Bobby was with Sam in the hospital, he told the doctors that Sam had been attacked and beaten by unknown assailants in an apparent case of mistaken identity. The sheriff came and took statements, threw an accusatory look or two at Bobby but after talking to the doctors and taking into consideration Bobby's broken leg, she was more than satisfied in the story given.

Sam lay so quiet, so still in the hospital bed Bobby had to check to make sure more than once that the idjit hadn't passed away. The litany of injuries was frightening, two broken ribs, a punctured lung, five bruised and cracked ribs, fractured collar bone, dislocated shoulder, bruised kidneys, deep bruising to his genitalia and inner thighs. Bobby had blanked out a little after the doctor mentioned the deep bruising, Sam was more than just the son of a now dead friend, he and his brother Dean were the closest to sons that Bobby would ever have and the last injuries mentioned were just too much for him.

The worst thought was that for Sam in his fragile state of mind it was Dean who had dealt this vicious and horrific attack. Would either brother come back from that?

'Mister Singer?' Doctor Edward McIntyre tried once again to get Bobby's attention, 'are you alright Mister Singer?'

'What? Ah yeah sorry Doc,' Bobby said his cheeks tinged red as he shoved his cap back on his head and resettled it before looking up at the pretentious looking man. 'You were saying?'

'The results of Sam's rape kit came back, as we had already discussed Sam has severe bruising in the genital area and inner thighs however, I can tell you that Sam was not penetrated anally … he has not been sodomised. The extent of the emotional trauma won't be known until Sam is conscious and aware … although not a lot of good news its better than we could've hoped for.'

'Thanks Doc … it's great news for Sam and the rest of us …' Bobby sighed with relief as he sat back down and stared at Sam, 'Sam? Doc I think he's trying to wake up.'

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

**Author's Note 1:** **Warning! **This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

**Author's Note 2:** Apologies from the bottom of my heart for taking so long in updating, as some of you are aware I had a very tragic start to this year and now I am back studying, I have just finished journalism which sucked my creative muse dry … total dehydration … But now I am working on a unit specific for my MA and it involves writing creatively again! YAY

SO this is a warning: My muse is back … be afraid … be very afraid!

_What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?_

**Chapter 16: The Long and Winding Road Home**

_The long and winding road that leads to your door, will never disappear I've seen that road before. It always leads me here, leads me to your door…_

**Then:**

_'Mister Singer?' Doctor Edward McIntyre tried once again to get Bobby's attention, 'are you alright Mister Singer?'_

_'What? Ah yeah sorry Doc,' Bobby said his cheeks tinged red as he shoved his cap back on his head and resettled it before looking up at the pretentious looking man. 'You were saying?'_

_'The results of Sam's rape kit came back, as we had already discussed Sam has severe bruising in the genital area and inner thighs however, I can tell you that Sam was not penetrated anally … he has not been sodomised. The extent of the emotional trauma won't be known until Sam is conscious and aware … although not a lot of good news its better than we could've hoped for.'_

_'Thanks Doc … it's great news for Sam and the rest of us …' Bobby sighed with relief as he sat back down and stared at Sam, 'Sam? Doc I think he's trying to wake up.'_

**Now:**

Four weeks later:

Dean paced the length of Bobby's veranda nervously chewing on his thumb nail as he periodically stopped and stared at the driveway. Sam was finally coming home from the hospital and Dean was freaking out completely.

He stubbornly refused to visit Sam in the hospital, insisting that he was staying away so he wouldn't hinder his brother's recuperation. That seeing his face could possibly send Sam over the edge and get him locked up.

Bobby, Caleb and Rufus all had tried to reason with Dean but to no avail; as stubborn as the other members of the Winchester clan he point blankly refused to listen to any other arguments against his self-imposed exile from his brother's side.

For Sam, it wasn't as impactful as they had first thought. Heavily sedated for the first couple of weeks he was barely conscious enough to register who was there and who wasn't. Although, when the doctor started to wean him off the strong drugs and he was becoming more aware each time he woke, Sam started to put names to faces in his mind and knew deep down that someone was missing.

By the end of the third week Sam was asking the question that no one could answer adequately for him. 'Where's Dean?'

At first Bobby had him convinced that although they had exorcised the demon, Dean was still suffering the effects of the ritual and possession and he wasn't strong enough to make the trip into town.

Sam accepted that for a day or so until the fog was completely lifted and he started to replay the last time he was with Dean or possessed-Dean in his mind and then his brother's absence was starting to make sense.

In his depressed state of mind Sam had decided that Dean was ashamed of him, of his inability to fight back and hold his own against the onslaught. That he should have tried harder did more or said more to get to his brother. Dean was possessed and Sam did nothing to help him, instead he gave up and let the demon use Dean to do whatever he wanted.

Silently Sam had decided that he deserved everything his demonically charged brother did to him and more.

Sam's sudden silence worried Bobby to no end but even playing the ill-Sam card did nothing to change Dean's mind, to relent and to go visit his brother. 'It'll be better for Sam in the long run' was the only answer Dean would give him in the end.

The haunted look in Dean's eyes and the way he spoke brought Bobby's worry meter up to heart-failure level and he decided it was time to enlist some help; deep down he knew that Dean was going to do a runner before Sam came home.

It hadn't taken a lot of convincing from Bobby for both Caleb and Rufus agree to become Dean's unofficial bodyguards and watchdogs. They had both noticed the subtle changes in the older Winchester brother, the increase in his anxiety and temper, the way he spent most of his time working in or around the impala, especially the trunk.

They had also noticed the changes in his demeanour that had saddened them and prompted them to try and convince Dean to go to Sam. The black eye Caleb now sported was testament to how well that had gone down.

Now it was the day they were all dreading and looking forward to all at once; Sam was coming home.

Bobby had left to pick Sam up leaving Caleb and Rufus behind to make sure Dean stayed put; kick starting a battle of wills between the three hunters.

S—D

Sam sat on the side of his bed patiently waiting for Bobby to come and pick him up; he readjusted the uncomfortable immobilising sling holding his injured arm snugly against his chest. Even though the doctors were able to reset his shoulder, the fracture in his collarbone needed to be kept stable and the best way was to immobilise his arm, giving him some relief with the residue pain in his shoulder as well as the pain from the fracture.

He had to keep his back as straight as possible and that pulled on his still healing ribs and kidneys, all in all he felt miserable and very sore although it was nothing compared to the agony in his mind, heart and deep in his soul.

Tiredly he rubbed at his aching eyes and felt the pull towards sleep, a quick nap while he waited was starting to look good to Sam. He hadn't told anyone, not even Bobby that they had assessed his sight during his stay in hospital after he had trouble reading some of the paperwork they had him sign. A pair of glasses now resided in his backpack and he dreaded wearing them in front of Dean and the others. The specialist had told him that he was now legally blind, he had gone on to explain about the damage done to his optic nerves during the assault but also the scarring on his retinas which had baffled the doctors but when they told Sam he knew immediately what had caused it and his depression became deeper and darker than ever before. _At least they're not covered with that milky white like before._

'Sam? Hey Sam you doing okay?' Bobby asked as he shook the younger man's uninjured shoulder gently.

'Huh? Oh sorry Bobby didn't hear ya come in.' Sam smiled softly at the older man, 'I'm ready to leave as soon as …'

'Papers are already signed.' Bobby grinned, 'just waitin' for yer chariot to arrive.'

'Huh?' Sam blinked tiredly up at Bobby when the door opened and a nurse came in pushing a wheelchair, 'oh okay I get ya now.' He said although his smile faded slightly, 'ahh do I have to get in it?'

'Sorry Sam but if you want to go home you're going to have to let me escort you.' Nurse Marian West said with a smile, 'though sure am going to miss you.'

'M'gonna miss you too Marian,' Sam said as he smiled shyly up at the woman, Marian had taken straight away to Sam and unofficially adopted him throughout his stay in the hospital.

Carefully he pushed himself off the bed and wobbled slightly until he got his bearings, and then with Bobby's help he eased himself into the wheelchair, 'so are we gonna get this show on the road?' Sam asked as he tried to put his own Dean-style mask on.

'Sure thing kiddo,' Bobby said as he picked up Sam's backpack and placed it on Sam's knees before picking up the small duffle bag, 'got everything?'

'Yep my meds are in here,' Sam said indicating his backpack and then with as much dignity as he could muster Sam let himself be pushed out of the hospital and into the fresh morning air.

S—D

'What the hell did you two do to my car?' Dean yelled as he rounded on both Caleb and Rufus, 'damn you what gives you the right to touch her?'

'Didn't do a thing Dean now settle down,' Rufus said raising his hands in a placating manner 'might be the battery.'

'Yeah right, what did ya do Cal? Take the distributor cap or something as equally stupid?' Dean asked as he moved slowly towards his friend.

'Calm down Dean or we'll hogtie ya until Bobby gets back,' Rufus said as he continued to try and calm the volatile younger man down.

'Look guys I just wanna go into town and get a few things before Sammy gets here,' Dean said as he tried for a Sammy-style kicked puppy look on the two hardened hunters, 'ya know some food and stuff.'

'Got all we need earlier including some of Sam's favourites and pie for you,' Caleb said grinning at Dean, 'next?'

'Ah fuck it, I can't face Sammy just yet,' Dean said as he finally decided for his version of truth, 'I'm the one who put him in hospital, me with my hands…'

'It wasn't you Dean you were possessed and possessed by not just any demon but by THE Demon, so cut yourself a break. I'm sure Sam is not gonna blame you.' Caleb argued.

'Yeah right, it's gonna make him worse having to look at the face of his attacker all of the time and to try and …'

'Enough Dean you're gonna have to face your brother sooner than later, and sooner is it.' Rufus said his voice matching the stony look on his face, 'do you understand me?'

Dean opened his mouth to argue as his gaze darted between the two hunters and then he held his hands up in mock surrender and stalked away from them. Heading inside he deliberately let the front door bang as he went in search of a stiff drink … and pie before he plotted his next move.

S—D

Sam sat resting his aching head against the cool window pane as Bobby drove up his driveway towards his house. He did feel a little bad in feigning sleep and not talking to Bobby but he wanted to get his own thoughts in order first.

'We're nearly there Sam,' Bobby said as he glanced over at his passenger.

'Huh? Oh sorry Bobby … you knew I wasn't asleep?' Sam blinked owlishly at the other man.

'Yeah thought though you needed some quiet … how's the head?'

'Aching … what are you a mind reader now?'

'Nope just know ya too well … ah Sam ya know Dean's here don't ya?'

'Yeah I do, I'll be fine Bobby honest. I'm looking forward to seeing him.' Sam replied as he stared up at the front door of Bobby's house. 'Nice to be home.'

Bobby opened his mouth to answer him when he realised what Sam had just said and with a warm smile and slight shoulder squeeze got out of the car and went around to help Sam out.

'I can walk Bobby.' Sam said as the older man braced him but there was no heat in his words and he stayed held securely to Bobby's side.

The sound of the front door slamming made Sam snap his head up and stare directly into the green eyes of his big brother.

'Oh God Sammy,' Dean breathed he thought he had more time to hotwire one of Bobby's clunkers and to get away but they hadn't told him just how soon Sam would be arriving and now it was too late.

'Dean?' Sam whispered and took a staggering step towards him, 'oh God Dean is that you?'

'Sammy?' Dean took the last few steps in one before colliding with his brother, mindful of his injuries Dean wrapped his arms around Sam's shoulders and hugged him as tightly as he could. But, before he broke contact he glanced up at Bobby standing behind them and gave him a glimpse of his full on anger at being played in one look.

'Come on you two idjits, let's get Sammy inside,' Bobby said as he ignored the barbed look Dean was giving him and shuffled past with Sam's duffle bag and backpack.

Dean put his arm around Sam's waist and helped him to slowly climb the front stairs, worriedly he watched Sam stumble on the first step. 'You okay there Sammy?'

'Huh yeah just a bit blurry,' Sam said without censoring himself, 'ahh just tired that's all.'

'Hmm okay we'll get ya in bed and …'

'Dean can we sit down and talk for a minute please?' Sam said as he turned his head to make it easier to focus on Dean's face.

'I dunno Sammy, you need to rest and …'

'Please Dean?' Sam asked pulling out his most lethal kicked puppy look.

Grumbling under his breath about annoying little brothers Dean guided Sam over to the chairs on Bobby's veranda and then lowered him down on the first one. 'Do you need anything? Drink? Meds? Anything?'

'Nope I'm fine … okay for now,' Sam said giving Dean a shallow grin, 'how are you doing?'

'How am I?' Dean said frowning he stared out at the salvage yard in front of them and tried not to show any of his inner panic, 'I'm fine Sam.'

'Ah okay Dean look at me and say that,' Sam said as he silently prayed he could get away with his squinting and failing sight, _probably would have been better to talk inside. _

'Sam … shit you know I hate chick flick moments and this is already way over the line…'

'Why didn't you come to see me at the hospital?' Sam blurted out the question without thinking, his own anxieties were now at explosion level and he desperately needed an answer, any answer would do as long as Dean said something.

'Sammy … Sam I – I couldn't come at first…'

'Yeah I know coz of the exorcism but after that?'

'How could I face you … knowing what I did to you?'

'What you did to me? Stuff that Dean what do you mean what you did to me?'

'Fuck Sammy do I have to spell it out to you? Look at ya … I did that!'

'Dean no, no you didn't do this to me, the demon did, the moth man did they did but not you … you wouldn't do this to me.' Sam said trying to get Dean to look at him was just as hard as trying to see clearly, a big fat ball of nothing was happening. 'Look at me Dean!'

'Sam…'

'No Dean look at me, really look at me … I need you bro … I'm not gonna get through this if you won't … it is my fault isn't it, it's all my fault I wasn't even strong enough to fight off a fucking moth.'

'Oh God Sam don't … don't you dare do that …' Dean said in a low even voice, standing up he stood in front of Sam and twisted his fists in the front of Sam's shirt, without looking at where he was grabbing he hauled his brother up onto his feet and shook him, 'don't you dare fucking think like that…'

'Why not? You can't stand to look at me, you wouldn't come to see me in hospital what else am I supposed to think? I know you're ashamed of me, of how weak I am … why not go Dean, get in the car and go leave me behind with Bobby … it's all I'm good for now.'

'Oh no you don't Sam, you don't get to turn this around it's all down to me and me alone and what the hell do you mean by wanting me to leave your ass behind?'

'I can't hunt Dean I'm nothing but a liability now.'

'What the hell? Sam you will never be a liability.'

'That's what dad used to say and ya know what Dean his words have come true.'

'That is bull and you know it Sam,'

'Dean I'm legally blind!' Sam said, overwrought with emotions and pain he was unable to stop himself but he did stop himself from crying, tears shone in his eyes but he refused to let them fall.

'Sam I … what … no … what … no … blind?' Dean stumbled over his words as the impact of what Sam had just blurted out hit him.

S—D

'So how long are we gonna let those idjits sit out there?' Bobby asked as he glanced out the window once again, 'Sam will need his pain meds soon.'

'Just another minute or so Bobby, give em time to work it out,' Rufus said as he stretched his legs out in front of him and folded his arms behind his head he sat back and watched his friend and hunting partner fret over the two brothers, 'you're gonna give yerself a heart attack if you don't come down.'

'Idjits all of ya,' Bobby said as he made his mind up and headed for the front door, 'stupid idjits inside and even stupider ones outside.'

'Bobby?' Caleb stood at the bench pouring four glasses of whiskey and one coke, 'they'll be in very soon.'

'No they'll be inside now if they know what's good for em.' Bobby said as he pulled the door open and stepped outside, 'right you two idjits git yer buts inside now afore I take a switch to 'em.'

'Bobby?' Dean and Sam said in unison as they turned around to stare at the older man in shock.

'Ya heard me, git inside now!' Bobby said before he went back inside banging the door behind him.

S—D

'Sam?' Dean turned back to his brother and stared up at him, taking in the paleness of his features, the tight pain lines around his eyes and the slightly unfocussed glassy stare Sam was giving him before it hit, 'come on let's get you inside.'

'Dean please talk to me first, I'll go inside in a minute … please just talk to me.'

'We will talk Sammy I promise but for now … you need your meds and some rest and I need a drink.' Dean smirked and once again wound his arm around Sam's waist to guide him into the house.

'I can make it on my own Dean.'

'Yeah I know but humour me,' Dean said without looking up, he knew just from the trembling in Sam's limbs and the hitch to his voice that he was past all the last vestiges of his energy and endurance.

Sighing heavily Sam let Dean lead him inside but deep down he resolved to make sure that they would finish their conversation, 'Dean did you hear that?' he asked as he jerked his head up and squinted out into the late afternoon sun.

'Sam? What did you hear?' Dean stopped with his hand on the door handle and looked to where Sam was staring.

'Dunno … it kindof sounded like … wings fluttering … No please not again.' Sam cried out.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

**Wisdom Reigns … Denial Remains**

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the CW or the producers, cast and crew of Supernatural nor do any monies pass hands. I do however love to play with two certain brothers and return them in relatively good health.

**Author's Note 1:Warning! **This fic will contain very dark themes and violence, if it offends then don't read. Dean is 27 and Sam is 23 this story is set around season 2 but probably will not follow canon to the letter, so can be classed as AU if you like.

_What happens when the brother you can see is not the brother you know?_

**Chapter 17 Sammy don't be a hero…**

_Sammy, don't be a hero, don't be a fool with your life…_

**Then:**

_'I can make it on my own Dean.'_

_'Yeah I know but humour me,' Dean said without looking up, he knew just from the trembling in Sam's limbs and the hitch to his voice that he was past all the last vestiges of his energy and endurance._

_Sighing heavily Sam let Dean lead him inside but deep down he resolved to make sure that they would finish their conversation, 'Dean did you hear that?' he asked as he jerked his head up and squinted out into the late afternoon sun._

_'Sam? What did you hear?' Dean stopped with his hand on the door handle and looked to where Sam was staring._

_'Dunno … it kindof sounded like … wings fluttering … No please not again.' Sam cried out._

**Now:**

'Sam what is it?' Dean asked as he turned around and tried to see what Sam was staring at, 'Sammy dude your scaring me.'

'Don't you … ahhh nothing dean I'm sorry for scaring you.' Sam said trying to fob Dean off; when all he could see was a pair of large moth-like wings.

'Nope you don't Sam what do you see?' Dean demanded when he felt the wind rush over his skin causing goose bumps all over his bare arms. 'What the?'

'Do…do you see it too Dean?' Sam asked timidly, half of him wanting Dean to say yes and to validate his fears but the other half of him dreaded the fact that he was still a wimp and useless in Dean's eyes.

'Nope but I feel it, like giant wings flapping the hell outta here,' Dean squinted and tried to see the elusive mothman when he caught a glimpse of the creature's spectral form. 'Ah damn it … come on Sammy we gotta go inside now.'

'Dean no, I gotta do this…'

'Dude you're not fighting anything or anyone, you can hardly stand up or keep your eyes open,' Dean dragged Sam's arm over his shoulders and tucked his younger brother as close to himself as he could without dislodging the immobilising sling, 'now Sam.'

The brothers ran as fast as they could across the wooden veranda, slamming the front door behind them they paused leaning up against it as they fought to control their own breathes.

'Boys what is it?' Bobby asked as he rounded the corner determined to bring them in from outside, 'what's wrong?'

'Another freaking mothman Bobby, I thought we ganked the mother.' Dean said fuming when he felt Sam suddenly go limp next to him, 'ahh fuck can you help me get him to the couch please?''

'Yeah, yeah come on Sam one foot in front of the other,' Bobby coached the semi-conscious younger hunter, 'that's it.' Between the two of them, Bobby and Dean managed to get Sam to the couch just as his knees gave out completely and he collapsed bonelessly onto the old ratty couch.

'Sammy?' Dean paled as he took in his brother's pallor and stuttering intake of breaths, 'damn it, he wouldn't come in when I wanted him too and then the freaking mothman turned up … what next?'

'What moth?' Caleb asked as he and Rufus came into the room, 'is he okay?'

'Just worn out I think, the boys saw another freaking moth outside,' Bobby said succinctly, 'Dean you sit here with Sam while I get his meds organised, Rufus, Caleb git out there and see what's going on.'

'Who died and made you boss?' Caleb grumbled as he went over to the cupboard underneath the stairs and pulled out the preloaded supa-soaker gun, 'pays to be ready no matter what,' he grinned ruthlessly, 'a moth hunting I will go … you coming or what Rufus?'

'Yeah, yeah keep yer hair on.' Rufus grumbled, 'got another one of those?'

'Yeah the baby sized one,' Caleb chuckled as he tossed a smaller version of the toy gun to his friend, 'ready?'

'Always …' Rufus grinned back as they went to the front door and crept outside, armed and ready to hunt a giant moth. Rufus shook his head and laughed to himself he would never get over the fact that they were hunting man-sized moths.

'Okay you guys relax and we'll be back before ya can sing Dixie.' Caleb said with a soft chuckle as he moved in exaggerated movements to the front door and then slunk outside looking more like a cartoon hunter than a supernatural one.

Rufus shook his head and gave Dean an apologetic grin before following his friend outside; Dean rolled his eyes and then turned his attention back to his younger brother who lay so still and quiet on the couch.

'He's gonna be fine Dean,' Bobby said as he came back into the lounge room carrying a small tray laden with glasses of juice, a bottle of pills and a plate of sandwiches, 'sit down ya idjit and git this in ya.' Bobby passed the plate of sandwiches to Dean and then one of the glasses of apple juice.

'Juice Bobby? Really?' Dean screwed his nose up and glared up at the older hunter, 'how about some of the good stuff?'

'Nope not gonna happen so don't ask, just drink yer juice and be thankful it aint water and stale bread.'

'Yessir,' Dean said, 'friggin' prison warden' he added under his breath.

'I heard that,' Bobby said glancing over at Dean and tried to keep his face stern but the woeful look on the younger man's face had him wanting to burst out laughing. 'Eat it all and drink that whole glass of juice and maybe yer'll git some pie for dessert.

Dean opened his mouth to give Bobby some more cheek when he thought about what he was told and then he started eating with gusto, he hadn't realised just how hungry he was until he bit into the thick bread and filling of ham, cheese and tomato slathered with mustard and mayonnaise. 'Thanks Bobby,' he managed to say through a mouthful of food.

Shaking his head Bobby turned back to Sam, with innate tenderness he helped the frail young man to sit up before pressing the glass of juice into one hand and then dropped two white pills into his other hand. 'Here Sam just sip yer drink and they're the good pills, should help settle the pain.'

'Thanks Bobby,' Sam said his voice sounding hollow and barely above a whisper.

'No worries, so you two gonna play nice while I go and see what the other idjits are doing,' Bobby asked as he looked from one brother to the other.

'Yeah sure Bobby don't sweat it,' Dean said as he pushed the last of his sandwich into his mouth.

'Gross Dean,' Sam said as he squinted at his brother, 'can't see much but I can still see that!'

S—D

Bobby found Rufus and Caleb sitting on the front steps talking quietly, their water cannons discarded by their sides. 'What are you two idjits doin' sittin' there for? Where's the mothman?'

'Bobby … ahh we looked everywhere man, there's no mothman,' Caleb started.

'Yeah only thing we found was a large bat,' Rufus finished for him, 'we were just talking about it and Dean and Sam.'

'What about 'em?' Bobby asked suspiciously.

'Sam's just gotten outta hospital, and well Dean's been stressed to the max …' Rufus said

'Yeah and … your point being?'

'Now don't git all het up under the collar but maybe, just maybe that the bat seemed like a giant moth to the guys …'

'You think that they made it up?' Bobby snapped, no one calls his boys liars.

'Now I aint saying no such thing Singer, I just meant that maybe the boys aren't seeing things too clearly right now.'

'Rufus is right Bobby, there's nothing to show any sign of the creature, not even a wind trail.' Caleb said, 'what do we tell em?'

'Tell em that it's gone, that's all they haveta know for now.' Bobby said as he pushed past his friends, 'then maybe it's time for you two to look at doing some hunting …'

'You want us to leave?' Caleb asked his eyes widening comically, 'are we being evicted?'

'Idjit,' Bobby said shaking his head, 'no but there aint no point in the three of us watch over the brothers while they heal up, it'll be better if you two chuckleheads are out there making sure that there's nothing coming for Sam and Dean.'

'Can do that Bobby,' Rufus said capitulating a little too quickly making Bobby narrow his stare and regard his old friend and partner carefully.

'You right there Rufus?'

'M'fine and I think that's it a good idea for us to get outta yer hair for a while,' Rufus grinned suddenly, 'got a hankering to shoot something anyway.'

'Or to blow something up, that could be good!' Caleb said smirking at the furious look on the face of the older man.

S—D

'How you doing there Sammy?' Dean asked tired of the constant silence in the room, 'need anything?'

'M'fine,' Sam replied without looking at his brother.

'Nope wrong answer try again Sammy,' Dean said as he started to get annoyed with the stoic silent suffering his brother was perfecting.

'I said I'm fine Dean,' Sam sighed his voice monotone and filled with tiredness.

'And I want more Sam, you in pain? You pissed? Anything?'

'Why Dean?' Sam slowly tilted his head upwards and turned to face his brother, 'I thought we had discussed it earlier and worked it all out then.'

'We worked out jack-shit Sam,' Dean snapped, 'try getting angry,'

'at who Dean? Who would I get angry at and why? What's the point of expending all of that energy on … nothing?'

'Damn it Sam get angry at me … I'm the one who kicked the shit outta you…'

'You were possessed Dean …'

'So? I was the one who hit and kicked you … who did that damage they were my fists and feet … no one else's so get fucking angry with me, you need to let it out.'

'Why?' Sam asked again his voice still in a monotone whispered volume. 'I'm tired Dean,'

'Damn it Sam … get mad, get even just don't …'

'Don't what?'

'Do what you're doing … it's not healthy.'

'I just got out of the hospital Dean,'

'So?'

'So I'm supposed to rest and heal …' Sam said without raising his voice but there was an ever so slight inflection on his last two words.

'You still think that you're worthless don't you?' Dean demanded his own anger beginning to override his concern for Sam.

'Aren't you angry enough for the two of us?' Sam asked squinting up at his brother but before he could say or do anything else he felt himself being hauled up by his shirt front, 'Dean?'

'Fuck Sam you're not some unfeeling robot, you … you're the emotional one so get emotional!'

'Boys? Thought I told you to play nice,' Bobby said as he came back inside, 'what's going on?'

'Nothing,' Dean said as he let go of Sam and stalked off towards the back of the house.

'Sam?' Bobby asked as he helped the boy to get comfortable again.

'Nothing Bobby, it was nothing,' Sam said lowering his gaze again as he lifted a shaking hand and rubbed his forehead, 'damn it.'

'What is it Sam?'

'Just a headache that's all,' Sam said, 'think I might head upstairs to sleep for a while.'

'You sure kiddo?'

'Yeah I am, a good sleep will help,' Sam said as he slowly pushed himself up off the couch, pausing when a wave of dizziness threatened to drop him again.

'Yeah right and I'm the queen of England,' Bobby groused as he slipped an arm around Sam's waist and waited patiently until the younger man was ready to move.

'Bobby can I ask you something?' Sam said as he let Bobby help him get ready for bed, his stomach was churning in time with the pounding in his head but he had to ask, he had to find out before he saw Dean again.

S—D

With a roar of impotent fury Dean pulled his fist back and let fly at the old punching bag hanging in Bobby's shed, stuffing and straw dust sprinkled over the floor as he started to punch it repeatedly. The only thing keeping him from falling down was his hard-headed stubbornness and refusal to calm down.

As he attacked the punching bag he saw the face of the yellow-eyed demon laughing maniacally at him, 'fucking bastard!' he screamed as he felt the fragile and still healing flesh on his knuckles split again.

'You finished with your pissing contest with my bag?' Bobby asked as he stood in the doorway with two beers in his hand.

'Where's Sam?' Dean demanded, 'you didn't leave him alone did you?'

'He's fine and sounds asleep so don't change the subject, you finished smashing your knuckles again idjit?'

'Huh?' Dean glanced down at his bleeding hand, 'yeah guess so.'

'Feel better?'

'Nope.'

'Good to hear, ya know I aint just here for my good looks kid, if ya need anyone to talk to…'

'M'fine Bobby.'

'Yeah right, right and I'm the Easter bunny.' Bobby passed one of the beers to Dean before taking a seat on a tall stool, 'sit down Dean we gotta talk.'

'I'm …'

'Don't say fine or I'll give ya a few lickings myself,' Bobby growled and stared pointedly at Dean and then the stool a few times.

Sighing heavily and pouting Dean sat down on the stool, sipped his beer before putting it down on the workbench, and began to wrap his hand with a loose bandana.

'Sam asked me something just before he went to sleep,' Bobby said as he watched Dean carefully, 'got me worryin'.'

'What was it Bobby?' Dean asked but had a sinking feeling that he already knew the answer.

'He wanted to know if he could live here with me.' Bobby said it quickly and without hesitation because deep down he knew that he would not be able to get it out again.

'He what?' Dean asked in disbelief, visibly deflating in front of Bobby's eyes.

'He thinks that ya'll be better off if he's off the danger zone, his words by the way.'

'Damn it Sammy,' Dean said as he ran his fingers through his hair, 'what do I do now Bobby? He's convinced that he's nothing but a liability now.'

'Coz of his sight issue?'

'Yeah I think so, it's all so fucked up Bobby … he says that he's not scared of me but …'

'Yer wondering if that's it and that it's not just the eye problem?'

'Yeah he can barely look at me Bobby and who can blame him? I was the one who did the damage … my hands and no one else's.'

'Dean, boy … Sam's not gonna git better until you do.' Bobby said his voice rising with his own anger, 'you've gotta stop blaming yerself and move on. Sam's not gonna until you do coz he's pickin' up on yer guilt.'

'So what am I supposed to do?' Dean asked his lower lip trembling as tears shone in his eyes, 'I tried to leave but you and the others wouldn't let me, I tried to talk to Sam but he won't listen to me I can't…'

'Can't what? Spit it out Dean you can't what?'

'I can't look at him Bobby,' Dean cried out, 'all I see when I do is my hands, my fists as they pound my brother into a bloody mess.'

'And you expect Sam to deal?' Bobby snapped, 'git over it Dean, you were possessed stop feeling so fucking sorry for yerself and git over it you aint gonna help yer brother until ya do.'

'Wow Bobby … you swore!' Dean breathed as he started to giggle. Slowly the giggles morphed into laughter and then into breath-stealing sobs.

S—D

_Pain ricocheted through him, slicing into his muscles and tendons, twisted into the nerves and sinews as blow after blow rained down on him. Blood spurted upwards as the frail, paper thin flesh split._

_His breathing stuttered and with his last breathe he gasped out, 'Dean? Why?' But the only answer he received was a deafening silence._

_As his blinking slowed everything dulled around him, losing definition and form as everything merged into one dull greyness. 'M'sorry Dean.' Was the last words uttered as everything went dark._

Sam sat up and stared around wildly, his fingers spasmodically clutched at his sweat drenched sheets as he tried desperately to catch his breath and to slow his pounding heart down. 'Dean?' he rasped but there was no sign of his brother or anyone else.

Pushing his sheets away Sam struggled to his feet before lurching out of the bedroom and headed towards the bathroom. Sweat ran down between his shoulder blades causing chills and goose-bumps on his skin.

Blinking furiously and swatting at the sweat and tears Sam dropped to his knees in front of the toilet just as his stomach somersaulted and let fly, hot acidic vomit burnt its way up and out.

S—D

'Sammy?'

Sam slowly registered the sound of his name being called and he tried to lift his head and yell out an answer but his body refused to cooperate. He lay on the floor of the bathroom curled slightly around the toilet, his long body impossibly wedged between the bathroom fittings.

He could remember getting to the toilet just as he started to vomit, each bout was more violent and acidic than the one before leaving him feeling wrung out and exhausted. 'Dean?' he rasped but his voice barely carried to his own ears. Wearily he lowered his head again and laid there waiting for someone to find him.

S—D

'Sammy?' Dean called out frantically as he bounded up the stairs; he had heard the screams as he came back inside with Bobby. The terror Sam's voice held, chilled Dean to his very core but also made his protective streak kick in and all he cared about was helping Sam.

'Sammy where are ya?' he called again as he stood in the middle of the bedroom and stared down at the rumpled, sweat-drenched sheets on the empty bed, 'Sammy?'

Pivoting on the balls of his feet Dean rushed to the bathroom and bashed on the door, 'Sam are you in there?' he waited impatiently for a reply, 'come on dude if you're in there let me know or I'm coming in.'

The faint call for help rang loudly in Dean's ears and he was pushing his way into the small bathroom, 'ahh shit Sammy.'

He found his brother lying on his side cramped in and curled around the toilet, with a shaking hand he checked for a pulse and only let go of his breath when he felt a strong pulse and slow but sure breathes. 'Damn it to hell Sam you're gonna be the death of me,' Dean breathed as he sat back on his heels and tried to work out how to get his brother out of there.

S—D

Three weeks later:

Sam sat in Bobby's study with a large book and notebook spread out in front of him on the large desk, his new glasses still felt strange but at least he no longer had headaches every time he tried to read anything.

Dean worked on the impala during the days and in the evenings they had movie marathons pulling out Bobby's old western videos. The three hunters had fallen into an easy and comfortable way of life but the undercurrent of restlessness was there bubbling away and slowly reaching the surface.

'Caleb rang before,' Bobby said as he placed bowls of steaming hot chilli in front of Sam and Dean, 'he's gotten wind of a hunt in New Mexico … he ahh wants me to join him.'

'Where's Rufus?' Sam asked, the thought of leaving the safety of Bobby's house gave him a headache of migraine proportions.

'He's following a few leads in California,' Bobby looked at each brother, 'I can git someone else if you two want me to…'

'No, no Bobby I – I … Caleb needs … Caleb needs you…' Sam said clearing his throat a little, as he cast a sad look towards his brother, 'we – we need to get back…'

'Sam? You sure?' Dean frowned; he had been itching to get back to hunting and some semblance of normalcy, well as normal as possible in their stuffed up lives.

'Y-Yeah I'm sure it's time,' Sam said taking his glasses off he rubbed his eyes wearily and then gave his brother and "adopted" father a tremulous smile, 'only one way to find out.'

Dean regarded his brother carefully; sure, the bruises and cuts were healing and slowly disappearing, his limp was improving and movement was better but there was still a shadow hanging over him.

Their relationship was improving but still had a way to go but at least his guilt no longer fuelled his thoughts and emotions and he could look at Sam without wanting to throw up or to punch every wall he could find. They were comfortable again, well as comfortable as they could be.

'Dean?' Sam asked again frowning when his brother still didn't answer him, 'why the silent act Dean?'

'Huh?' Dean blinked and looked at his brother and then over at Bobby, 'oh sorry was just thinking is all.'

'Thinking? Is that what they call it these days?' Sam smirked and suddenly Dean felt as though they were really going to be alright again.

S—D

Dean put the last of their bags in the boot of the impala and carefully closed the lid, smiling he turned to Bobby and scrubbed his face with his fingertips, 'so…'

'So … ya take care of each other…'

'Yeah we will Bobby,' Dean said choking up a little, 'Bobby I ahh just wanted to …'

'No chick flicks this early in the morning idjit … if ya need to talk call me anytime.'

'I will Bobby …' Dean said smiling as he gave the gruff hunter a quick hug, 'ahh Sammy you ready to go?'

'Yeah, yeah keep your wrinkles on,' Sam said as he emerged from the house and slung his backpack strap over his shoulder, 'thanks for everything Bobby.'

'Aint nuthin' … you just take care of yerself and this brother of yours.' Bobby said as Sam enveloped him in a giant bear hug.

'I will…' Sam said his voice muffled against Bobby's shoulder, 'thanks for … you know.'

'Yeah I know kiddo, I know.'

Bobby stood watching as the impala disappeared down the driveway and onto the road, as that empty lonely feeling returned deep in his gut and with a shove of his cap, he sighed and headed back inside to pack his own gear. The boys were going to be alright and one thing he knew deep, deep down in his soul that they were his boys in every way that mattered.

S—D

'So Sam?' Dean said as they drove away from Sioux Falls, 'how you doing?'

'M'kay Dean.' Sam answered without looking at his brother, 'honest.'

'We can go back if you want.'

'No, no it's okay Dean … I think work will be good for both of us.' Sam said and finally looked over at Dean, 'how are you doing Dean?'

'I'm fine Sam, just fine,' Dean answered as he stared at the road ahead of them, 'it feels good.'

'What does? Being in the impala back on the road?' Sam asked slightly tilting his head to the side as he regarded Dean with a solemn gaze, 'yeah feels like home, we're home again.'

'You're such a girl Samantha.'

'Yeah well … you're a – a jerk.' Sam said trying to keep a straight face.

'Bitch.' Dean shot back as he reached over to turn the music up slightly and eased his foot down on the accelerator. They were home again.

S—D

High in the sky a shadowy figure glided through the clouds and danced on the wind, it enjoyed casting the dark shadows beneath it, giving a sinister feel to an otherwise beautiful day. It kept its gaze locked on the human vehicle below as it sped along the earth, the metal may carry them but it knew it was only until it was ready for them. The tribute will be in its grasp again very soon and the true order of things will be.

END … For now!


End file.
